What is hell like? This is not a topic that raises to the level that I would think about but it did come up in this week’s Lectio Divina meditation (Philippians 2:5).  I have not experienced Hell because I have never been there (nor have I ever been to Heaven). I think it is significant that Christ did not tell us what heaven or hell actually is, mainly because we probably would not comprehend it with our human nature. What Christ did tell us is what Hell is like. Matthew 25 He also did that with the concept of heaven. Simili est regnum coelorum.


We can only know anything about heaven or hell that is consistent with our human nature. This means I uncover bits and pieces about hell in as much as I have the capacity to relate my current experiences of human living with what I consider Hell to be. Here are some feelings that are common to me that might apply to the Hell of my imagination. Imagine this feeling…forever.

  • Hell is like a Comedy Club gig where the comic continues to use old, dated material over and over, and you can’t order a Coke or Pepsi. You can never leave the club, ever. At least there is no cover charge. You paid that price when you entered the club
  • Hell is like having to listen only to Lawrence Welk music forever if you are a Kiss fan, while another person next to you hears only to Kiss music but like Lawrence Welk music. (Twilight Zone episode)
  • Hell is like your best friend pointing out all the typos in your manuscript but not commenting if she like it at all.
  • Hell is like going on a trip and forgetting to pack your toothbrush and toothpaste plus your comb.
  • Hell is like going to your physician’s office and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for them to see you, then they take you to the consulting room where you are waiting and waiting and waiting for the physician. When he does see you, it is for less than five minutes and you leave feeling worse than when you came in.
  • Hell is like having severe acid reflux (heartburn) with no Tums or Rolaids to take.
  • Hell is living with a person who continues to preach that physicians are only out to make money and you can’t trust them and for you to stop taking your medications because it is too expensive.
  • Hell is leaving the church because you think it has a relaxed policy about pedophilia only to find out the church you just joined has pedophilia, drinking, and sex trafficking problems with members and clergy. Now what?
  • For a golfer, Hell is a place of absolutely beautiful greens, clubhouse, spotless dining rooms, and splendid services for any amenity you could wish, with only one drawback— there are no golf balls.
  • Hell is a preacher railing against greed and dirty sex while having hired a prostitute to see him ejaculate in a paper cup, only to find out it is being broadcast to his congregation back home.
  • Hell is telling other people what to believe about reading Scripture while you look at pornography and hoochy-coochy girls on YouTube.
  • Hell is belonging to any political party that hates others because of their personalities.
  • Hell is a famous actor or author who thinks they are god and writes about it.
  • Hell is a broken-down, old Lay Cistercian who is seduced into thinking that he can move from self to God by himself and without the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • Perhaps the truest expression of Hell is one that has the Devil gloating over your fall from grace because you chose yourself over God’s will. He laughs at you because of your weakness and gullibility at being so easily seduced and taunts you with the notion that you had everything you needed to get to Heaven and be happy with God forever, and you blew it because of jealousy, anger, hatred, pride, envy, lust, and murder. Think about living with that…forever.


Chapter 4: The Tools for Good Works

In this period of Lent, all of us must sit in that backbench at church, head bowed, daring not to look up at the crucifix, saying all the while, “Lord Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me a sinner.” St. Benedict asks us to reflect on heaven and hell and the consequences of it. He writes this in Chapter 4 of his Rule.

If you are a successful politician, a physician, a charismatic preacher, a military enlisted or officer, one who is convinced that there is no god but you, what does it profit you, if you have all the money, fame, adulation, and power, but miss the point of life? Lent is a good time in silence and solitude to re-convert yourself to have in you the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5) If Christ is number one, there is no need for a number two.



I can still remember driving US 41 south of Vincennes, Indiana as I traveled to Evansville, Indiana. There was one spot in the road where I had seen an abandoned two-story house, one like I saw in horror films with large windows perched hill on a hill. I bring up fear here in the sense of terror, an emotion was so strong with me that, as I drove by this spot, I would not dare to look up at that house for fear I would see a figure looking back at me. It was the closest I ever come to being terrified. But that is not all. This fear gripped my imagination so much that as much as I struggled not to look, there was also the fear that, if I did not look, I might not see someone in the window.

I thought of this example of fear as I did my most recent Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5). St. Benedict’s Rule also came to mind in my meditation (with contemplation there are no words or images), especially his Chapter 7 on humility. St. Benedict gives a Ladder by which we might ascend to humility, steps to take. The first step is fear of the Lord. He writes:

The first step, then, of humility is if one set the fear of God always before his eyes and
altogether avoid forgetfulness, and be always mindful of everything that God has ordered and
always ponder over life eternal, which is prepared for those that fear God; and how hell will
consume, for their sins, such as despise God; and if he keeps himself at all times from sins and
faults, alike of thought, of the tongue, of the eye, of the hand, of the foot, or of self-will; and
moreover, hasten to cut away the desires of the flesh.


During this time of Lenten recollection about who I am, who God is, and what that means, I think the “fear of the Lord” is most appropriate. Fear in this context is not being afraid, but more respect and acknowledment that God is not me. Jesus became human nature just to show us that, with the limitations of physical space, time, energy, and matter, we can never really know God as He is, but only as we humans are with our languages where we try to communicate with each other and find meaning. Jesus came to give us a language which we could even be adopted sons and daughters of the Father, that of love, the center of who God is. God invited us, through Christ, to place Himself as our center which would compel us to love one another as He loved us, but also to be adopted by divine nature. In the first instances of humans interacting with God, Adam and Eve, our prototype ancestors, failed to recognize that they are not God but there to know, love, and serve God in their lifetime and be happy with God forever (Baltimore Catechism, Question 6).

Fear of the Lord is wanting to look at what it means to God but being unable to grasp its meaning fully. What we have is to use only what we have, our human reasoning, our freedom to chose what we reasoned, with the five senses we have with the seventy or eight years we have to discover what it means to be human, not what it means to be God.

God knew we humans could not even begin to grasp what it means to be God, so He sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to tells us, but more importantly to show us what to do to walk through the minefield of human imperfect and not hurt ourselves. Our Blessed Mother, Mary, the first disciple, point us in the right direction when she tells those at the Wedding Feast of Cana, to “do what he tells you.” Humility is the only way to relate to Jesus, and Jesus is the only way to relate to the Father.


A key component of conversion is moving from the false self to the true self in Christ. We can’t even do that unless we have in us the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5). The great kenosis or emptying of self by God of His divinity to make room for his humanity (apologies for the very poor analogy) can only be appreciated by this charism of God, humility. The only way that even makes sense to me, and it may or may not be correct, is to feel how it would be for God to be so powerful and intimidating that His divinity would crowd out the possibility of Jesus ever making a free choice, consistent with being made in the image and likeness of God. Yet, God was fully present in Christ and yet allowed the humanity to experience all the effects of Original Sin without sin. The fear was real fear, the pain was real human pain, the doubts were real doubts, the templations to replace God with the Devil were real, the pain of Lazarus’ death was real, the anger of those who bind others with rules that they themselves mock, is real. All of it, so that I can say “Jesus is Lord, to the glory of God the Father through the Holy Spirit.”

I have given up trying to define this fear of the Lord, but rather now try to relate those human exeriences about fear, humility, emptying of self to increase God, as I am, where I am. That is another way for me to seek God every day.

My Faith is a process of daily converting my false self which only seeks my own satisfaction rather than including God as my center. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but only the beginning.



In my Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5) today, I wondered about who Jesus is. I think this is part of the mystery of Faith, that probing of the human heart to try to love God with all of our heart, all of our mind, and all of our strength. Each day, I must begin my quest anew, seeking God where I am and as I am. Each day, I try to find ways to be near the real presence of Christ, physically, mentally, and spiritually through the Cistercian practices of Lectio Divina, Eucharist, Liturgy of the Hours, contemplative prayer. You know what? I have never even met Jesus face to face or know what he looks like. I only know him through others, such as the Saints and how they have tried to move from self to God. Jesus knew this discrepancy would occur for those in the future, so He gave us the Advocate to be with us as he ascended to sit at the right hand of the Father (images for our human understanding, not God’s). Jesus was in the upper room and had an encounter with Thomas to prove a point. That point was meant for us to give us confidence that, even if we have never seen or met Christ, we know Him through others (the Church, our friends, neighbors). Read this story three times, each time slowing down to delve into what the Holy Spirit is telling you.

Thomas. 24 Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 26 Now, a week later, his disciples were again inside, and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”p 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” 28*q Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29* Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? r Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”


What a wonderful illustration of how to see Jesus. Scriptures are one way to see Jesus, so is receiving the body and blood, soul and divinity of Christ in the Eucharist, as is the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. All the Cistercian practices are there for me to use in order to see Jesus. All it takes is for me to believe that Jesus is present to me.

When thinking of Jesus, each of us has a different picture of who Christ is because of where we have been in life and what we choose for our future. That doesn’t mean each person is wrong but it is also true that we won’t know for sure until we see him face to face, just like Thomas. That is dying in the Hope of the Resurrection. It is not a mental conundrum to solve but anticipation of future glory.


If it is true that each one of us “sees” Jesus differently because of our reason and the choices we make, then there are at least three approaches to how humans think about Christ, each with their unique assumptions about what is true. It is also true that, if I choose the wrong Jesus, I will miss the point of the Christ Principle and end up with Christ the Philosopher, Christ the Social Worker, or merely Christ the son of Mary. I use the word “approaches” because within each person’s Jesus, there are at least three (maybe you know of more) approaches into which we all might fit. These approaches all have their criteria, their assumptions hidden beneath the surface, Although they all use the word “Jesus” what they mean might be radically different. I urge caution when looking at these words of Faith. What follows are my thoughts about how I differentiated between approaches.


Assumptions are those often hidden premises that each one of us holds that inform what we believe and how we believe it. They are the learned lessons of our lives that we have assimilated into our behavior and help with the choices we make. This is why many people can look at the life of Christ and see different things. The assumptions we make inform the choices we select. The choices we make have consequences for additional assumptions that move us forward. We get rid of some assumptions and accept others in their place. When you read my three different ways to see Jesus, remember that I view it from my assumptions.

I. THE HISTORICAL JESUS: Studying about God without God as your center.

This is a movement or an approach to seeing Jesus that looks at Scripture from the viewpoint of historical veracity; what is true must be historically proven. If there are inconsistencies in Scripture, it proves that those books are in error. What is left after passing through this gauntlet of historical beatings is the true Jesus. https://www.cs.umd.edu/users/mvz/bible/bible-inconsistencies.pdf Looking at the apparent contradictions in all books of Scripture, the natural conclusion is that all of this is just made up by overzealous followers who foisted the myth of the resurrection on gullible followers. If you believe this, your world view of religion takes on a juridical and scientific approach to what is real.

The Jesus Seminar is one of these movements. If you strip away all of the contradictions and assumptions about Christ based on the subjective Faith of followers, what you have left is a good man who gave us some inspirational ways to act in life. John Dominic Crossan is one of the chief proponents of the Jesus Seminar approach. What you choose to believe has consequences both intellectually and spiritually in how you view reality.

Another very popular author is Dr. Bart Ehrman. A former clergyman who examined the Scriptures and writing of the early Church Fathers and concluded that all the Jesus information was Misquoting Jesus (the title of one of his popular books). He is currently the James A. Gray Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a prolific author and apologist for the historical Jesus approach to seeing Christ. This approach is one that dismisses Faith at all in favor of reading the texts of Scripture strictly for what they tell you (or don’t tell you).

Watch what Bishop Robert Barron says about the Jesus Seminar and the implications for those who choose to believe its assumptions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRgkG9QxGC0&list=TLPQMDIwMzIwMjGxC0wT_0CM0w&index=2


I am no theologian, nor scripture scholar, nor do I consider myself an expert in anything academic. I do consider myself a broken-down, old Lay Cistercian who comments on life as it is quickly passing by, like looking out at the countryside on a Canadian Pacific passenger train. In this context, I offer you two observations about the Jesus Seminar and those who are academically teaching about the Scriptures and Jesus while being agnostic/atheists (like Dr. Bart Ehrman). If all Christ was to me was the object of study, like learning academically the Jesus of Scriptures and early Church struggling to find out who Jesus is, then I would look upon the notion of the historical Christ with some interest. It is not of interest to me because I see it as cotton candy– tastes good but there is no nutrition. Here are some results I took from Wikipedia about the Jesus Seminar and some of their assumptions. You be the judge of its merits. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Seminar


Seeking the real Jesus is nothing new, despite the academic challenges of the Historical Jesus approach. Read what Matthew 16 has to say about who Jesus is. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/matthew/16

The Demand for a Sign. 1*a The Pharisees and Sadducees came and, to test him, asked him to show them a sign from heaven. 2* He said to them in reply, “[In the evening you say, ‘Tomorrow will be fair, for the sky is red’; 3band, in the morning, ‘Today will be stormy, for the sky is red and threatening.’ You know how to judge the appearance of the sky, but you cannot judge the signs of the times.] 4c An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of Jonah.”* Then he left them and went away.

The Leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.5d In coming to the other side of the sea,* the disciples had forgotten to bring bread. 6e Jesus said to them, “Lookout, and beware of the leaven* of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 7* They concluded among themselves, saying, “It is because we have brought no bread.” 8 When Jesus became aware of this, he said, “You of little faith, why do you conclude among yourselves that it is because you have no bread? 9f Do you not yet understand, and do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many wicker baskets you took up? 10g Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many baskets you took up?11How do you not comprehend that I was not speaking to you about bread? Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” 12Then they understood* that he was not telling them to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Peter’s Confession About Jesus.* 13h When Jesus went into the region of Caesarea Philippi* he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14i They replied, “Some say John the Baptist,* others Elijah, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16*j Simon Peter said in reply, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” 17Jesus said to him in reply, “Blessed are you, Simon, son of Jonah. For flesh and blood* has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. 18k And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock, I will build my church,* and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. 19l I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven.* Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” 20*m Then he strictly ordered his disciples to tell no one that he was the Messiah.

The First Prediction of the Passion.*21n From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he* must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.o 22* Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.” 23p He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

The Conditions of Discipleship.*24q Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,* take up his cross, and follow me. 25r For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.*26What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life?”

Contrast the above passage with what I copied off of Wikipedia about the Jesus Seminar. I don’t want to put false words in the mouths of those who believe differently than me. My conclusions and assumptions are certainly different. If you continue to read further down, you will find a second opinion, one based on the effects reading the Historical Jesus approach had on me.

“Acts of Jesus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Seminar
  • In 1998 the Jesus Seminar published The Acts of Jesus: The Search for the Authentic Deeds of Jesus. To create the material for this book, they voted on the individual acts of Jesus as recorded in the gospels, much as they’d previously voted on the individual sayings attributed to him.[5]
  • According to the Jesus Seminar:
  • Jesus of Nazareth was born during the reign of Herod the Great.
  • His mother’s name was Mary, and he had a human father whose name may not have been Joseph.
  • Jesus was born in Nazareth, not in Bethlehem.
  • Jesus was an itinerant sage who shared meals with social outcasts.
  • Jesus practiced faith healing without using ancient medicine or magic, relieving afflictions we now consider psychosomatic.
  • He did not walk on water, feed the multitude with loaves and fishes, change water into wine, or raise Lazarus from the dead.
  • Jesus was arrested in Jerusalem and crucified by the Romans.
  • He was executed as a public nuisance, not for claiming to be the Son of God.
  • The empty tomb is a fiction – Jesus was not raised bodily from the dead.
  • Belief in the resurrection is based on the visionary experiences of Paul, Peter, and Mary Magdalene.
“Criticism from scholars

The Jesus Seminar has come under criticism regarding its method, assumptions, and conclusions from a wide array of scholars and laymen.[27][28] Scholars who have expressed concerns with the work of the Jesus Seminar include Richard Hays,[29] Ben Witherington,[30] Greg Boyd,[31] N.T. Wright,[32] William Lane Craig,[33] Luke Timothy Johnson,[34] Craig A. Evans,[35] Paul Barnett,[36][37] Michael F. Bird,[38] Craig Blomberg,[27][39] Markus Bockmuehl,[40] Raymond Brown,[41] James D.G. Dunn,[42] Howard Clark Kee,[43][44] John P. Meier,[45] Graham Stanton,[46] Darrell Bock,[27] and Edwin Yamauchi.[27]

Jesuit theologian Gerald O’Collins has been critical of the methods and conclusions of the Jesus Seminar with particular attention to Christological ramifications.[47][48]

Lutheran theologian Carl Braaten has been sharply critical, saying “The Jesus Seminar is the latest example of a pseudo-scientific approach that is ‘dogmatically’ opposed to basic Christian dogmas, popularizing in the public mind Harnack’s view that an unbridgeable gulf exists between Jesus and the church.”[49]

Without trying to be too simplistic, I want to add my own observations about the characteristics of the Acts of Jesus contained above. Whenever I think of academics and great thinkers who spout their expert opinions about Jesus or the meaning of the Gospels, I am reminded of Mrs. Murphy. What follows is a blog which I wrote about the enduring influence of Mrs. Murphy on my thinking. The late Aidan Kavanaugh, O.S.B. was one of my professors of sacramental theology back in the 1960s. He would speak of Mrs. Murphy as one who knew more than all the academics combined.


My first exposure to Mrs. Murphy, a fictionalized, archetypal character used by Father Aidan to ground the academic theologians in the practical expression of Liturgy as the Body of Christ in the local community. She lifted up all the cares, worries, successes, and challenges of the day with Christ to the Father. I remember him saying about Mrs. Murphy that she is the little old lady in the backbench of Church, eyes closed, faithfully praying to God with all her soul. This lady, said Father Aidan, knows more about the meaning of Faith than all the sophisticated theologians and academics combined. She brings all her struggles and aspirations and lays them at the feet of Christ in humility, simplicity of words, fidelity to the love of Christ, seeking only to be in the presence of the Holy Spirit. At the time, this example just passed right over my head, like so many of the other ideas I encountered. Being in Father Aidan’s class was like taking a sip of water from a fully functioning fire hose. So many wonderful and scintillating ideas were presented in such a modest way that I found myself struggling to catch just a gulp. I remember Mrs. Murphy because it has taken me a lifetime to flesh out the significance of what Father Aidan was trying to communicate. It has been only in the last six or seven years that this image has even begun to make some sense to me. My inspiration came from the Lay Cistercians of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit Monastery in their monthly Gathering Days. Being from Tallahassee, Florida, my drive to the monastery once per month was five hours away in Atlanta, Georgia. I very slowly came to see what Father Aidan was alluding to in his avatar of Mrs. Murphy. It is time I take to place myself in the presence of Christ, in the presence of my fellow Lay Cistercians on gathering day, that makes me open to the Holy Spirit in community. Liturgy is the expression of this living body of Christ which culminates in the Eucharist but which is sustained in the local Gathering in the name of Christ. I am very slowly coming to expand my Faith horizon from Church as someplace I go to for the Sacraments to actually believing that I am the Church wherever I am and that, joined with others of like persuasion, we offer our whole day as a sacrament in our search to find God wherever we are. Spirituality becomes not just those times where we formally pray in silence and solitude. However, that much more significant is the time we take in our whole day joined with our community of Faith. All of this joined to the Church Universal as the acceptable sacrifice of our lives in with and through Christ to the Father’s glory through the power of the Holy Spirit. Practicing the five Cistercian charisms of silence, solitude, work, prayer, and community is how I have come to address Mrs. Mruphy’s challenge of simply being in the presence of Christ and listening. St. Thomas Aquinas, O.P., great Doctor of the Church, has this written about him: “One day when Thomas Aquinas was preaching to the local populace on the love of God, he saw an old woman listening attentively to his every word. And inspired by her eagerness to learn more about her God whom she loved so dearly, he said to the people: It is better to be this unlearned woman, loving God with all her heart, than the most learned theologian lacking love.” https://www.azquotes.com/author/490-Thomas_Aquinas


Anyone can believe anything they want. There is a reason we have reason and the ability to choose what we reason. It is also true that we are defined by our choices and not our knowledge or abilities. For me to choose the approach to Jesus without Faith would be like trying to get fresh fruit from a long dead orange tree.

  • The Jesus Seminar and Historical Jesus movement discount the Gospels and inspired the Epistles’ writings as mainly overzealous disciples.
  • If there is no resurrection, says St. Paul, we are the most pitiable of persons. What is true is that those who do not believe in the resurrection’s power are to be pitied.
  • What does it gain you by knowing everything about Christ but failing to love others as Christ loved us?
  • The Scriptures are the inspired word of God. If the Resurrection is not true, says St. Paul, we are the most pitiable of people.
  • The Scriptures do not tell us about how the heavens go but how to go to heaven.
  • According to John 20:30-31, the purpose of Scripture is so that we may come to believe that he is Son of God, Messiah, and that believing we might have life in his name. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/john/20 The Scriptures are all about Faith and the consequences of not having it by not believing.
  • I would not give my life to preserve the assumptions of the Historical Jesus.
  • I could never place the assumptions of the Jesus Seminar as my personal purpose in life. It would make a pitiful center.
  • If all my Faith was to me was just pious platitudes, to hell with it. It is just a clanging cymbal.
  • The Christ Principle is a sign of contradiction to all those who lack Faith, but to those who have Faith, no answers are needed. Long ago, I have stopped trying to defend (apologia pro vita mea) my faith and am content with trying to love others as Christ loved us.
  • The study of Scriptures, without realizing its purpose is to prepare us to live in heaven, is just about dead people and their ideas. There is no transformative power here. It does not lead me to want to sit next to Jesus on a park bench in the dead of winter and wait for my friend to share himself.

Thomas. 24 Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”o 26 Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”p 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” 28 *q Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 * Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? r Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Conclusion.* 30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of [his] disciples that are not written in this book.s 31 But these are written that you may [come to] believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.t

John 20:30-31


I learned most of what I know about Jesus from the Scriptures. Most of what I learned from Scriptures I studied from an academic point of view. This is the WHAT and WHY of Scripture but was definitely academic. This next observation results from listening to the Great Courses series of two DVDs by Bart Ehrman, Ph. D. entitled The New Testament. https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/new-testament There is also this DVD on the Historical Jesus. https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/historical-jesus

My interest in Dr. Ehrman is one of admiration for his scholarship and the sheer volume of his commentary about the New Testament and the Early Church. He had a Ph.D. and taught at The University of Chapel Hill in North Carolina. I was impressed, much like I would be if I had leukemia (which I did) and went to a physician I did not know and placed my total trust and faith (human faith) in his opinions and ideas. He came from a background of Pentecostal preaching and believing and achieved fame for his insights into Scriptures. What I failed to notice, in my admiration and sheer joy at finding someone who cast a discerning shadow on Christ was that, along the way, he lost his faith in Jesus as Savior. In my opinion, what was left was cotton candy, tasting sweet but having no nutrition for my body.


When I listened to his DVD on the New Testament, I found myself physically strange in my whole thorax, like something had just invaded my body from what was there before. I became lethargic and had terrible thoughts about the words of Christ to me as being fake and fraud as perpetrated by those disciples who want to believe what Scripture actually did not say about the resurrection and Jesus as Son of God, Savior. I had, what I call, Spiritual Depression and what St. John of the Cross and other mystics call the dark night of the soul. I remember the feelings of abandonment and hopelessness as I challenged my center. This went on as long as I continued to listen to this DVD, enchanting and seductive in its approach because it seems to make sense to my mind, but my mind and heart were definitely at war. Being the simple thinker that I am, I wondered what in the world was happening to me? It was like taking a very strong sleeping pill and being in a fog, being hostage to a foreign ideology that was creeping ever so silently to cover my world with its thick syrup-like drippings, as in the Sherman Williams logo that has the world being covered with paint.

Perhaps some in the Historical Jesus approach would say that I was just suffering through the withdrawal syndrome or demystification of all this phony, religious, pity piety built up by its followers over the years. Like waking up from a coma, I reaffirmed by Faith in the living Christ, Son of God, Messiah, as St. John mentions in John 20:30-31 and called upon the name of the Lord to have mercy on me, a sinner. Almost immediately, I re-consecrated myself to my Lay Cistercian promises to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5). Immediately, my worries were banished as the fog of unbelief lifted, and I began to assess what had happened to me. What did happen?


I had dipped just my toe in the seductive pool of unbelief, the concentrated orange juice of doubt and hopelessness. Like Adam and Eve, I had just been visited by the serpent of delusion and doubt, the one who espouses jealousy and revenge, the one who tempts the faithful to lose their center (Christ) and, when they do, laughs at them for being so gullible and spineless and escorts them into the Hell of their own design.

I thought back to one of the books I had written (I am probably the only person that has read it) which speaks of the struggle or the battle to be spiritual. https://amzn.to/38lbLee I read this Scripture from Paul in https://bible.usccb.org/bible/romans/10. Whenever you read the inspired words of Scripture the Word is present in your mind the heart. You can become what you read, with the grace of the Holy Spirit. The way to conquer the temptations of unbelief is to sit next to Christ on a park bench in the dead of winter and wait patiently to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. Read this passage three times. The first time for the words, the second time for meaning, the third time read it as one who needs the redemptive love of Christ to crowd out (capacitas dei) false teaching and restore the resonance of the Resurrection.

 Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God on their behalf are for salvation.a 2 I testify that they have a zeal for God. Still, it is not discerning.b 3 For, in their unawareness of the righteousness that comes from God and their attempt to establish their own [righteousness], they did not submit to the righteousness of God.c 4 For Christ is the end* of the law for the justification of everyone who has faith.d 5* Moses writes about the righteousness that comes from [the] law, “The one who does these things will live by them.”e 6 But the righteousness that comes from faith says,f “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will go up into heaven?’ (that is, to bring Christ down) 7* or ‘Who will go down into the abyss?’ (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead).”g 8 But what does it say?

“The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”h

(that is, the word of faith that we preach),9for, if you confess* with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.i10For one believes with the heart and so is justified, and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved.11For the scripture says, “No one who believes in him will be put to shame.”j12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all, enriching all who call upon him.k13For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”l

II. THE CREATIONIST APPROACH: Seeing Jesus only through the eyes of Faith.

If the Historical Jesus approach is one which denies Faith while crafting their picture of what Jesus was, then the Creationist Approach is the opposite of that. On the surface, it seems like a reasonable approach to who Jesus is, just like the Historical Jesus approach. The assumptions of the approach are that the Scriptures are the inspired word of God and therefore without error. If they are without error, then what the Scriptures tell us must be taken literally. You can determine how old the world is by tracking the timeline of the Old Testament and tell when the end of the world is by looking at the Book of Revelations. It is all there for those who have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. All of this is backed up by science as they propose it, verified by those with advanced degrees and honors.



I have a problem with this view of Christ. After all, I am actually a creationist because I hold that God created everything with a beginning and an end. What complicates things for me is that various positions hold that Scientific advances don’t support a strict biblical interpretation of Creation in Genesis. In this “Faith alone” version of how to look at Scripture, everything in Scriptures must be true because it came from God. “The Science alone” approach says that nothing in the Scriptures is true unless it can be proved to be historical, e.g., there is no resurrection. Where I find myself is somewhere in the middle between two perceived poles of thinking.

Science is to be encouraged to be what it does best, use the tools designed by human ingenuity to make discoveries that increase our knowledge and quality of life. Rather than at odds with the “Faith only” approach, there should be some resonance between them. I don’t see that, at least not fully, at least not using their assumptions. The “Faith only” approach is not so much wrong as it does not consider the advances of science or the advances of biblical scholarship. This approach uses Faith as a lens through which it makes assumptions that it thinks is justified. I am using creationism to look at Christ, although the controversy is actually about evolution and how the world was created in the beginning. In the chart below are the main types of rational theories about creationism. I use them because, when looking at Christ, there can be different ways to view anything religious, and the disagreement is rampant.

When I looked at all the various ways to see religion, and thus to see Christ, I am struck by how different each position is based on their assumptions. My own position about how I use the Scriptures to look at all things Jesus is to fall back on the rocky road of belief in Christ as it has come down to us through twenty centuries of people trying to claim their way is the right way. Actually, I think that is the wrong question, and wrong questions always give wrong answers, if only slightly off track.

In the first example, that of the Jesus Seminar, academics took a poll of those that thought that Jesus fit into various categories of actual historically verified Scripture passages or where they made us to suit the penchants of followers having blind Faith. I find that taking a poll on anything is good for only the group in question and for the timeframe in which it was administered. First of all, Faith is not based on any belief system or the belief of any individual, but rather on the source of that Faith. Faith is also not just an intellectual contruct of any system of propositions.


“The main general types are listed below.

HumanityBiological speciesEarthAge of Universe
Young Earth creationismDirectly created by God.Directly created by God. Macroevolution does not occur.Less than 10,000 years old. Reshaped by global flood.Less than 10,000 years old, but some hold this view only for our Solar System.
Gap creationismScientifically accepted age. Reshaped by global flood.Scientifically accepted age.
Progressive creationismDirectly created by God, based on primate anatomy.Direct creation + evolution. No single common ancestor.Scientifically accepted age. No global flood.Scientifically accepted age.
Intelligent designProponents hold various beliefs. (For example, Michael Behe accepts evolution from primates.)Divine intervention at some point in the past, as evidenced by what intelligent-design creationists call “irreducible complexity.” Some adherents accept common descent, others do not.Some claim the existence of Earth is the result of divine intervention.Scientifically accepted age.
Theistic evolution (evolutionary creationism)Evolution from primates.Evolution from single common ancestor.Scientifically accepted age. No global flood.Scientifically accepted age.”
Multiple creation approaches

The Jesus using Science only is not so much wrong as failing to see that reality has three universes and not just two (physical, mental, and spiritual). My brain just won’t allow me to see Jesus through these two lenses of reality. The Jesus using Faith only is not so much wrong as incomplete and does not take into account human progress in science and literary criticism.


  • The Scriptures were written to give simple people (not academics) hope that life is worth living, as Archbishop Fulton Sheen used to preach.
  • There are so many ways of looking at creationism or the Historical Jesus that you end up just making your best judgment and going with that theory, which may be only the flavor or the day.
  • The question becomes, how can I look at Jesus using my reason and free will to determine what is true?
  • Belief without Faith does not make anything happen, as even Jesus conceded when he could not work his miracles there because of their lack of Faith. Read what happened at Nazareth. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/mark/6
  • I hold the Faith part of this creationism (the creationary evolution as stated above) because it makes sense in terms of my Rule of Threes. (There separate and distinct universes but only one reality.)

The Rejection at Nazareth.1a He departed from there and came to his native place,* accompanied by his disciples. 2* When the sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They said, “Where did this man get all this? What kind of wisdom has been given him? What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands! 3b Is he not the carpenter,* the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. 4*c Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.” 5 So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there,* apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. 6 He was amazed at their lack of faith.


All of this leads me to reaffirm my belief in my traditional bedrock of Faith and belief, the Church. This third way, and again, I remind you that this approach is my assumption about reality, is Faith informed by Reason.

Faith comes from God’s energy and grace. Our ascent to this is a belief, collectively in the Church and individually in proclaiming that Jesus is Son of God, Savior. In this approach, I don’t try to defend or prove anything. It is all about having in me the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5). In this way, I find the truth and the life to lead a life centered on coming to believe that Jesus is the Son of God and Messiah and that by believing in that name, I might have eternal life forever. John 20:30-31.

My only worry is that I might lose my center to the temptations of the flesh (Galatians 5) and succumb to the false promises of the Devil. They are subtle indeed, and He is a Wiley One, as Adam and Eve can testify.


Here is a YouTube about Christ from Bishop Robert Barron. My words don’t seem to convey what is in my heart about the Christ Principle. Bishop Barron and the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen capture my thinking best.


  • I reaffirm my belief in the Nicene Creed and Apostles’ Creed.
  • I reselect Jesus as Lord and Savior and wish to have Him as my personal center each day (Philippians 2:5).
  • As a Lay Cistercian, in silence and solitude, I try to wait for the Lord until he comes again in glory by using the Rule of St. Benedict (Chapters 4, 5, and 7) and Cistercian practices and charisms until I die.
  • With God’s grace, I strive to increase Christ in my heart and have less of my false self (Capacitas dei).
  • Jesus is alive right now, as really present in the Eucharistic and in Eucharistic Adoration, present through our openness to the Holy Spirit in each person who confesses that Jesus is Lord.
  • The kingdom of heaven on earth begins with my Baptism of water and the Holy Spirit where God grants me adoption as son and heir to the kingdom of heaven in heaven.
  • Like the Mrs. Murphy of Father Aidan Kavanaugh, O.S.B.,I must practice seeking God each day as I can and as I am in humility and with a willingness to take up my cross and be obedient to God’s will. Each day is sufficient unto itself. Each day begins a new opportunity for me to link my broken life with Christ crucified in reparation for my sins and failures and to make all things new in Christ.
  • The Church Universal, twenty centuries of struggling to have in us the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5), is the living body of Christ on earth, in heaven, and awaiting purification with a second chance.
  • The Blessed Mother and all angels and saints are witnesses to Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior by how they loved others as Christ loved them. We pray through them to Christ and through Christ to the God Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who is to come, at the end of the ages. (Cistercian doxology)


Each day, I find I must choose to be a follower of Christ, trying to love others as He did us. Each day, I come up just a little short and must continuously use contemplative practices daily to keep my faith from atrophying. I look at the first approach, learning about Jesus without the assumption that there is no God. My mind and heart both tell me that this is just not right, given what my faith relationship with Christ tells me. I can’t, and therefore I won’t go with this assumption. The second approach, that of Faith without the input of science and other languages that describe reality, I share somewhat. I have a problem with looking at the Scriptures as telling us how the heavens go rather than showing us how to go to heaven. Again, the assumptions use words such as “Creation,” “Faith,” each weighted with what the end-user believes to be true. That there are so many contradictions in the Scriptures only assures me that I am on the right track. The third assumption is one of simplicity and complexity at the same time. This approach is in development (capacitas dei) by using the Cistercian charisms and practices of silence, solitude, work, prayer, and community. The Church is my collective mother, housing all those signed with the cross and having Jesus as their center. My mother envelopes me in a blanket of Faith, the Faith of the Church, the same church full of sinners and saints, all moving from Alpha to Omega, as Teilhard de Chardin pointed out. Here is a prayer from Teilhard de Chardin.

“Glorious Christ, you whose divine influence is active at the very heart of the matter, and at the dazzling centre where the innumerable fibers of the multiple meets: you whose power is as implacable as the world and as warm as life, you whose forehead is of the whiteness of snow, whose eyes are of fire, and whose feet are brighter than molten gold; you whose hands imprison the stars; you are the first and the last, the living and the dead and the risen again; it is to you to whom our being cries out a desire as vast as the universe: In truth, you are our Lord and our God! Amen.” (The Mass on the World, 1923, XIII, 131-132)

In the end, St. Paul says in I Corinthians 13, there are three things that matter. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/1corinthians/13

At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.g13* So faith, hope, love remain, these three;h but the greatest of these is love.

God gives me three gifts to help me see Jesus on my journey. The first one is Faith, which comes from God and empowers me to be an adopted son (daughter) of the Father. The next gift is Hope, the reaching for that which I cannot possess, the gift that is the Holy Spirit overshadowing me with God’s own energy. Lastly, there is Love, the greatest of the three gifts because it is the product of the God equation (3=1). This is the mathematics of Being, beyond human capability and capacity to possess it, a Being100% of its nature, and whose value is pure energy, not a human statistic.

I stand before all of this in silence and solitude in the stillness of my being and say, Let it be done to me according to your Word. Forever.



Today in a few hours, the Lay Cistercian community of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit (Trappist) http://www.trappist.net, will meet for their monthly Zoom Gathering Day meeting. I would like to share with you some of my preparations for that meeting. In Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5) I place myself in the presence of Christ and don’t ask for anything other than to be with him, the source of my being. This quiet confidence envelopes me in a blanket of peace where I can rest in the kingdom of heaven, without worries, although I have worries, without problems, although I most certainly struggle with my “thorns of the flesh” each day, all the while trying to place and keep God as my Center.

I recommend the homilies from the Monastery of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit (Trappist) for your Lenten devotion. I used the homilies of Dom Augustine (abbot), Fathers Gerard, and Peter Damien, as the bases for my preparation for today’s Gathering Day. I hope you will take this opportunity to listen to them (and in the future). Short. Poignant. Inspiring. http://www.trappist.net/homilies


Read this passage from Psalm 84 three times. Pray to the Holy Spirit to overshadow you with knowledge, love, and service. First time for the words; the second time, emphasize verse 2 and continue reading the rest of the Psalm with this verse as your focus; read it trying to feel the emotions of the Psalmist who pines for the courts of the Lord; the third time, read it very slowly, pausing after each stanza ends to think about what you just read.

One particular thought I share with you, one that I have not thought about often if never, I can’t remember. It is the phrase from Psalm 84, one which I pray in the Liturgy of the Hours. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/psalms/84

For the leader; “upon the gittith.” A psalm of the Korahites.


2 How lovely your dwelling,

O LORD of hosts!a 3 My soul yearns and pines

for the courts of the LORD.b

My heart and flesh cry out

for the living God. 4*As the sparrow finds a home

and the swallow a nest to settle her young,

My home is by your altars,

LORD of hosts, my king and my God! c 5 Blessed are those who dwell in your house!

They never cease to praise you.



6 Blessed the man who finds refuge in you,

in their hearts are pilgrim roads.7As they pass through the Baca valley,*

they find spring water to drink.

The early rain covers it with blessings. 8They will go from strength to strength*

and see the God of gods on Zion.


9 LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;

listen, God of Jacob.

Selah 10*O God, watch over our shield;

look upon the face of your anointed.d


11Better one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere.

Better the threshold of the house of my God

than a home in the tents of the wicked.12 For a sun and shield is the LORD God,

bestowing all grace and glory.

The LORD withholds no good thing

from those who walk without reproach.13 O LORD of hosts,

blessed the man who trusts in you!

* [Psalm 84] Israelites celebrated three pilgrimage feasts in Jerusalem annually. The Psalm expresses the sentiments of the pilgrims eager to enjoy the divine presence.

* [84:4] The desire of a restless bird for a secure home is an image of the desire of a pilgrim for the secure house of God, cf. Ps 42:23, where the image for the desire of the pilgrim is the thirst of the deer for water.

* [84:7] Baca valley: Hebrew obscure; probably a valley on the way to Jerusalem.

* [84:8] Strength to strength: pass through outer and inner wall.

* [84:10] Our shield…your anointed: the king had a role in the liturgical celebration. For the king as shield, cf. Ps 89:19.

a. [84:2Ps 43:34122:1.

b. [84:3Ps 42:2363:23143:6Is 26:9.

c. [84:4Ps 5:3.

d. [84:10Ps 89:19.

Which is more efficacious, to give up a Hersey’s chocolate bar (with almonds) for Lent or to nourish your inner self with the power of the Holy Spirit?

We are defined by our choices. The choice we must make is between something that is easy and what is right.


  • At the Eucharist
  • In the Sacrament of Reconciliation
  • At my Liturgy of the Hours
  • In my meditations as part of Lectio Divina
  • In the Blessed Sacrament Chapel for the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament
  • In my innermost self
  • While I read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict each day in hopes that one day I become what I read.



One of my favorite Scripture passages is the one where God tells a frightened Elijah the Prophet to go to a cave and He will pass by. This passage has great importance for contemplative practice. We listen to God with the ear of our heart, as St. Benedict tells us in the Prologue to his Rule. In I Kings, 19, Elijah describes his situation as he waits for the Lords to come: “11c Then the LORD said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD;* the LORD will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake;12after the earthquake, fire—but the LORD was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound.”

It is in the elegant simplicity of a whisper, barely audible, that God speaks to Elijah. During this Lenten season, we might think all God has to do is wait for us to call and he will come at our beckoning.

My own expectations are often that I take time out of my busy schedule to make a holy hour or read Liturgy of the Hours, and I think that satisfies God. As I seek God every day, I look for him in the signs of a chapel’s majesty or before the Blessed Sacrament when I practice penance by praying the Scriptures, but he is not there. I try to follow my Lay Cistercian practices in silence and solitude by doing Lectio Divina diligently, but he is not there. With humility and obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit, I ask God where he is and why it is so difficult for me to hear him? What is wrong with you, God? No answer. I find myself alone, sitting on a park bench, rather ruffled that God is not passing by as He had said he would. There is a deep cold in the woods, and snow covers the landscape. No sounds. No birds chirping. The wind picks up, and I feel its icy breath on my face and tighten my scarf around my face so my eyeballs won’t freeze. I think that I must be absolutely crazy to think that God would tell me he would be here and then not show up, He who is present to all reality from before there was time. Faintly, competing with the sound of the wind is a word, ever so soft and delicate. I hear the word, Michael. I focus on this sound, and I can hear it only in the innermost silence of my heart. “Michael, where were you? I was afraid you would not stop by to see me?” “Jesus, is that you?” I say. “Of course,” says Jesus, ” I have been since before there was time. I have been waiting for you to show up.” I think of St. Thomas and how embarrassed he must have been when Jesus told him to stick his fingers in the wounds in his hands and side. All he could say and all I can say is My Lord and My God. During Lent, I realize that I must practice waiting for my heart to slow down to be able to listen with the ear of my heart to the real presence of Christ next to me. I must re-convert my false self, again and again, to listen and keep my mouth shut so that I can hear the whispers that come to my heart.

The following passage is that of Elijah, one to prefigure Christ. Read it three times as your Lenten reading, even though it is lengthy. The first time, read it through as you would normally do. Next time, pick out one idea that sticks out in your mind. The third time, read it asking the Holy Spirit to elaborate on how this one idea of yours can help you listen with the ear of your heart to the faint whispering of Christ.



Lent is a time for profound reflection. Lent is a time for profound listening. St. Benedict tells us to “listen with the ear of the heart.” Here is a not-so-simple idea on which you should ponder.

Go to http://www.divineoffice.org. Read the Invitatory prayer. Reflect on this prayer three times.

First, read it for the words; next, read it for the meaning and select one idea that sticks in your mind; next, read it with that one idea in mind and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you about it.



Faith is like a blanket that overshadows us to allow us to call God “Abba”. This gift from God provides us with the indelible sign on our souls that we are marked as adopted sons and daughters of the Father. We are saved from the fulfillment of living and then dying with no real purpose in between. Once we ratify that Jesus is Lord, it is only the beginning of taking up our cross each day and following Christ. Our humanity is rescued from oblivion by the redeeming sacrifice of Christ on the cross and the resurrection and ascension to the Father now as one of us, our mediator, our translator between a divine nature we can never grasp with our human reasoning and choice, our friend


I am not a good one to answer this question, although I did take the total instructional preparation to be an Anglican, a few years ago. I chose not to join the Anglican Church because I would have to give up more than I would receive. The real presence of Christ in the Eucharist and the tradition of the Church are the reasons I re-committed myself to having in me the mind of Christ Jesus, using my Catholic heritage. I will be ever so grateful to have met so many dedicated and spiritual Anglicans. For that, I am a better person. I can give you some ideas on which you can reflect, and you might want to add your own in the journal space provided. The word “convert” has special significance because it is a call you have accepted to convert your life to be more like Christ and less like the World. Christ gives you Faith but won’t live your spiritual life for you. The Church gives you guidance but won’t make the decisions for you. That you must do by yourself.

I have come to open up my ego to just being present to Christ each day through the Church Universal.


With the Christian Rite of Initiation for Adults (RCIA), the Catholic Church does more than a decent job of preparing the mind and the heart to be a disciple of Christ before Baptism or profession of faith. Where we could improve, in my view, is ensuring that the mind and the heart receive the practices and charisms needed to move forward on their journey to Forever. The following stages are based on my Lay Cistercian journey, including discernment, Novice, Junior, and Finally Professed. You might have different terminology or stages. 

DISCERNMENT: The RCIA you just attended is a period of discernment where you allow the Holy Spirit to permeate your mind and your heart so that you begin to love others as Christ loves us.

NOVICE CATHOLIC: Making a profession of Faith in the Church Universal with other members of your local church community of Faith is just the beginning of your process.  Now, you must learn the tools and charisms of what it means to be Catholic, or you will lose it. It will dry up for lack of water. There is so much, not only to know about Christ but skills of how to love as Christ loves us, using silence, solitude, work, prayer, in the context of community, that you soon realize, that all Catholics all novices for the rest of our lives, always becoming more and more like Christ and less and less of the world. Ideally, it would be nice to have a mentor during your first year of the profession. Like a godfather or godmother, this person will pray for their brother or sister for the two years and contact with them once per week to be a spiritual guide and mentor.

Novice Catholics should try to pray a Morning Offering each day, (60 seconds), attend Eucharist on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation, read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict each day,(60 seconds), pray Lectio Divina privately once a month or more, and to sign up for a parish ministry for no more than one year, then back off. These are small goals for all Novice Catholics. So, what happens to you when you do not meet these goals? No penalties, you talk about it with your Mentor, if you have one, receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation to receive God’s grace to make all things new, and try again. The more you want to be in the presence of the one you love, the more you will be able to expand Christ in you and deflate your false self.

JUNIOR CATHOLIC –After the first year, a deeper practice of your Faith is needed to build up your strength and sustain you each day, just as someone needs to go to the gym to tone up or build stamina. Can you imagine a Pro Football player not being a regular in the weight room? Muscles can atrophy if not used; likewise, your Faith can wither. We can’t have a mindset of growing deeper in the love of Christ without help. I recommended that the Junior members meet every month for a short meeting (you may use some of these exercises as topics for the meeting). Lay Cistercians, for example, promise to attempt to meet every month to learn, pray, in the context of a community that stresses silence and solitude to convert the false self into the true self. We call that a Gathering Day, a day of prayer, learning how to love, and sharing with the monks in Liturgy of the Hours and Cistercian topics of transformation from self to God.

Junior Catholics should promise to practice seeking God with all their heart, with all their mind, with all their strength, and love their neighbor as themselves. After two or three years, Junior Catholics may apply for Professed Catholic status. People who choose to do so and are accepted by the parish council as faithful to seeking God are formally prayed over by the Priests and Parish Council and commit to the local church. 

LIFETIME--: A disciple is one who is now tested in the ways of living as a pilgrim in a foreign land, one who tries to love God with all their mind, all their heart, and all their strength and their neighbor as themselves, for the rest of their time on earth.  (Matthew 22:37)  Service may mean doing something with the love of Christ for your neighbor in addition to contemplating the heart of Christ next to your heart in prayer. This is a unique and additional commitment to the Practicum above in that you commit yourself to a regular schedule of practices and activities that will lead to your conversion of life.

Discipleship, in my case, means I promise to love God with my whole heart, whole mind, whole strength and to love my neighbor as myself.

I do that by practicing the Cistercian practices (silence, solitude, prayer, work, and community) so that I can daily convert myself to that of Christ. St. Paul says It so well in Philippians 3:7-16. Read it and think about the power of fierce love that St. Paul has for The Master.

7 Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ.  8 More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake, I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ  9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ,[a] the righteousness from God based on faith.  10 I want to know Christ[b] and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death,  11 if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

Pressing toward the Goal

12 Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal;[c] but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me his own.  13 Beloved,[d] I do not consider that I have made it my own;[e] but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,  14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly[f] call of God in Christ Jesus.  15 Let those of us then who are mature be of the same mind; and if you think differently about anything, this too God will reveal to you.  16 Only let us hold fast to what we have attained.

This is the level of permanent commitment. Not everyone needs to be a disciple nor does it mean you are better than anyone else. It does mean you make a public profession of Faith to ratify the commitment you made at your first profession of Faith before the local community.

For any new novice to the Faith, and believe me, all of us are novices compared to the wonders and riches Christ has awaiting us through contemplation in this lifetime and Heaven in the next, this passage is one in which I take great comfort and peace when life gets a little dicey.


  • YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE STARTING OVER FROM ZERO Although you are new to Catholicism, you probably have had a rich and fulfilling spiritual life in another faith tradition. One of the reasons you do not have to be re-Baptized is you have already made a faith commitment to a body of beliefs and have been Baptized and maybe even Confirmed in the Holy Spirit. Many of your beliefs carry over into your Catholic Faith. Unless you do not have any religion, you probably will not be starting out from ground zero, like you would do if you began a job or joined the Marines.
  • THE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE A CATHOLIC Practicing to love God with all your heart, your mind, and your strength and your neighbor as yourself is a lifetime commitment. Like St. Paul says in Philippians 3:8-16, you run the race to win. We sometimes forget that Christ gives us the tools to be successful in our journey in life, but it demands commitment on our part to sustain ourselves against the temptations of the Evil One and the world’s false allurements. That is why we must train to run the race and not just get on the conveyor belt of Faith and get off when we die. It doesn’t work like that. This book is all about ten ways that I use to sustain my Faith. Jesus is the only door through which we must pass to go to the Father. We do that in each age through the power of the Holy Spirit. The only command Jesus gave us is to love one another as He loved us. You can know that intellectually, but more importantly, Christ wants to do his command at each age. That is not easy, which is why he instituted the Church to help us. The Church, far from being just a bunch of rules to which we must conform, is the living Body of Christ, with this added dimension: it is the Church Universal, those who have died and are not before the Throne of the Lamb, those who are still making the journey on earth, and those awaiting purification. Learning to be a Catholic means you are constantly converting your old self to your new self. The Church is not the place, but the resource to allow us to identify those steps Christ gave us and then provide us what we need to love God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our strength and our neighbor as yourself.
  • YOUR BAPTISMAL FAITH WILL BE TESTED. Being a newly Baptized person, you have the euphoria and zeal to conquer the world. Christ lives in your mind and heart as you have never experienced Him before. The Holy Spirit beckons you to tell everyone that Jesus is Lord, just like the Apostles felt in the Upper Room.  You do, and if people don’t listen, you are quick to condemn them to Hell. This is like the honeymoon period in marriage. The initial flush of excitement and pleasure masks what is the reality of life. Where are those photos of your marriage now? When was the last time you got them out, blew off the dust, and took a good look at you then and then now? You probably look much thinner back then, with more hair, darker hair, and an innocence that comes with those who think they can conquer the whole world. Two or three years later, reality has set in. The world you set out to conquer is limited to what you can see and experience around you. Ten years later, your world is limited to changing only yourself. What you change into is the question here. You have made  a commitment to move from self  to God, to struggle, to find meaning around you using the eyeglasses God gave you at Baptism, to accept that others in your faith community are critical for you to have in you the mind of Christ Jesus (Phil 2:5)
  • IT TAKES A LIFETIME TO MOVE FROM SELF TO GOD. Take your time to savor your new relationship with Christ. Before the Lay Cistercians of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit considered me for membership, I had to discern my call to determine if I had the endurance and strength to sustain my desire to move from self to God using Cistercian practices and charisms. In my case, I had to assess if I was up to the challenge of driving the five hours from Tallahassee, Florida, my home, to Conyers, Georgia (outside of Atlanta) each month. The normal progression is discernment for a year or two, then accepted as a novice (one who begins converting life to renounce self and life the Life of Christ for two years. After that, each year, Lay Cistercians make Junior promises to follow the Cistercian way of life as Lay Persons for the next three years. At the end of five years, Lay Cistercians accepted by the Abbott or Abbess and the Lay Cistercian make their final, permanent commitment or promises to seek God the Cistercian Way, to grow in Christ and convert their life to lead the life of Christ. Although I don’t think that being a Lay Cistercian is for everyone, the idea that Baptism is only the beginning of the process of moving from self to God has merit. It should be studied to provide new Catholics with the Seminarium (greenhouse) where their Faith may be nourished with Christ’s grace and energy. You have a lifetime to know, love, and serve God with all your heart, heart, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Pace yourself!
  • YOU CAN LOSE YOUR FAITH IF YOU DON’T NURTURE IT I like to think of losing Faith with the comparison of an ice cube. Ice is not the normal state of water; room temperature is. When you are Baptized (God chooses you to be an adopted son or daughter) or Confirmed with the Holy Spirit (your acceptance of God’s energy in you), you enter a world where, as the ice cube, the normal state is foreign to what the world teaches. That is why I hold a separate universe, the spiritual universe, different from just the physical universe, which we interpret with the mental universe.

Back to the ice cube analogy. What happens to an ice cube if you leave it out on the kitchen counter? It will melt and return to room temperature. Now, it is no longer ice but water. A Baptized person who has accepted Christ as the center of his or her life, no longer lives in a world of room temperature but must keep their ice cube from melting. I think this is an excellent way to look at Original Sin, the room temperature into which we were all born, and how it slowly erodes your Faith if you do not actively keep your ice cube from melting. That is why good works are necessary for stabilizing and maintain faith.  You must work to keep your ice cube frozen, not just get on the conveyor belt of spirituality and go through life without struggle. Christ tells us this over and over. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Forgive others as you would be forgiven. Love your neighbor as yourself. Catholicism is all about learning to love others as Christ loves us.

St. Benedict realized this in his Rule, Chapter 4, Tools for Good Works. Get over the idea that you can buy your way to Heaven or Good Works alone will get you to Heaven. Wrong questions have wrong answers.  St. Benedict established a way to form a School of Love to help us DO spirituality.

  • There are many things you do by yourself. You are born, you breathe by yourself, you have your ability to reason and the unique quality of making decisions by yourself. We even die by ourselves (alone).

If I can make any recommendation for you, it would be this: with all things spiritual, you must always look deeper than what at first might appear to be real to you. This is a book about not only thinking about what is deeper in Faith, called the Mystery of Faith, but how to get there. Another book, WAYS TO APPROACH THE MYSTERY OF FAITH WITHOUT FRYING YOUR NEURONS:  A Lay Cistercian, reflects how to approach the Mystery of Faith for those who wait before the Blessed Sacrament, goes into depth about the Mystery of Faith and how this concept can dramatically improve your spiritual awareness as a Catholic.


  1. Lose your need to pray.
  2. Think you are the center of the universe (make God into your image and likeness)
  3. Listen and practice what false prophets tell you. Cotton candy Christianity verses take up your cross and follow me.
  4. Do not believe that Christ is really present in the Eucharist.
  5. Do not convert your heart from self to God.
  6. Be lulled into thinking that God will take care of everything and you don’t need to do anything but passively get on the conveyor belt of life
  7. Failure to see the value of using the Church to open up the Holy Spirit for your journey
  8. Inability to love others as Christ loves us.
  9. Losing the passion for loving Christ through Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  10. Being seduced by the call of the World, the Circe of our age, not to deny yourself nor prefer nothing to the love of Christ and only prefer what makes you happy.


  1. Love God with all your mind, all your heart and all your strength and your neighbor as yourself (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36)
  2. Learn from the Blessed Mother, the prototype believer, who told us: do what he tells you. Ask for the intercession of Mary and the Saints to be what you pray. They are not God, but they proclaim what God can do for those who believe.
  3. Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5) as your center and prefer nothing to the love of that center. Seek first the kingdom of heaven, and all else will be given to you. We forget too easily.
  4. If you are a room, you must continuously sweep it clean of Original Sin’s effects each day. Each day! Become a penitential person.
  5. Cultivate a reverence and respect for the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist and Eucharistic Adoration. If Christ is not substantially present under the appearance of bread and wine, the resurrection is also just wishful thinking.
  6. Extra ecclesiam, nulla salus. Outside the Church, there is no salvation. Christ is the head sitting at the right hand of the Father, and we are living members; those on earth who struggle to love others as Christ loved us; those in heaven, enjoying being one with the Son; those awaiting the purification of the spirit with the power of the Holy Spirit to lift them up. The Church Universe is all there is in the Kingdom of Heaven. It does not mean only Catholics go to heaven.
  7. Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. No human, except Christ and Mary, can be perfect. Perfect means using 100% of your nature; God’s nature is unattainable to human nature, but, through the love of God for us and the passion and death of Christ, we can become adopted sons and daughters and inherit the kingdom.
  8. Mean what you pray. There are many opportunities to place yourself in the presence of Christ and let the Holy Spirit overshadow you. The Rosary is such a prayer, among many. It is not the official prayer of the Church Universal (Eucharist and Liturgy of the Hours) but it is a powerful way to let God’s grace permeate your mind and heart and move you from your false self to your true self. https://www.wordonfire.org/rosary-why/
  9. Christ is the pearl of great price that you would sell all you have to purchase it. Love means you want to be with that person as much as possible, you want to do things for them to make them happy, you want to join with them as one.
  10. Christ is the vine and we are the branches. If we practice those activities that allow us to be present to Christ (Matthew 25) in deed and in contemplative prayer, what follows are the charisms of humility and obedience to the will of the Father. There might be many more hidden temptations along the path of your life. If you take up the responsibility to be a member of the Body of Christ, it is not about you at all. It is all about your participation in a Body of Christ that has as its purpose to be a school of love for those who choose. It is a way of life for the rest of your life. This can be either a stagnant recurring of more prayers, more ministries, more activity (cyclical Faith), or a deepening of your personal growth in the context of silence, solitude, work, prayer, and community.


I have made a choice to grow even more specific in my growth in this school of love by applying for and being accepted by Our Lady of the Holy Spirit Monastery (Trappist) Abbot to practice the Cistercian Way of approaching life. I am and will always be a professed novice.

  • I am using what I understand about being a Lay Cistercian, using silence, solitude, work, prayer, and community, as the framework for the ten lessons I use in my own journey to move from self to God. Contemplative means you seek to go inside yourself to discover Christ through contemplation and Cistercian practices. At the very center, the core of what it means to be a Catholic, which is also the center for Lay Cistercians, is to love God with your whole heart, your whole mind, and your whole strength, and your neighbor as yourself. (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:37)
  • No one can attempt to love with all your might without knowing how Christ first loved us. The Catholic Church is not God; they are people at each age who, at their very best, provide helps with how to love others as Christ loved us. They provide a community of faith in which you can nurture your faith with the Church’s Faith. Lay Cistercians is an additional method of spirituality based on St. Benedict and St. Bernard. You need the tools to grow deeper into the Mystery of Faith, the source of loving with your whole mind and heart.
  • One of the things we could do better for each other is to share HOW to pray using silence, solitude, work, prayer in the context of a community centered around Christ. That is why I like the Lay Cistercian approach to spirituality, one that stresses the interior. To be fair, there are other equally appropriate ways to express your spirituality, such as:
  • Dominican https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMkAnpUPH4g
  • Franciscan- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMkAnpUPH4g
  • I have this big problem, and I can’t seem to shake it. Try as I might, I cannot run from The Hound of Heaven, as Francis Thompson tries to capture in his poetry. I turned on the faucet of the Holy Spirit when I began my journey as Lay Cistercian way back in 2012, and I can’t seem to turn it off. My spouse thinks I am living in la-la land and do not live in the real world. She is correct. My world is that of the Spirit, the sign of contradiction. It is foolishness to the Gentiles and a stumbling block to the Jews.
  • You would be safe from my reflections if all I did were just think them in the privacy of my mind, but the Holy Spirit has led me to write all this down. If you are reading this, you are the object of one of my Lectio Divina reflections, this time on the Church’s dimensions. I propose to set forth four dimensions of the Church, you might have many more than I do, but these are the ones I use in my daily contemplation practice. But that is not all. Because I am focusing my attention on the Mystery of Faith, the cloud of the unknowing, the Church’s concept becomes one of a lived reality having four dimensions. Still, each dimension has four elements that I use to probe deeper into the Mystery that is the Body of Christ made present in each age. I will conclude with some reflections on the four marks whereby we know the Body of Christ is authentic and not the creation of magicians and politicians. Here are my thoughts on the word “Church.”  What might seem like a simple word has many ramifications for your Faith and is incredibly layered in meaning? I offer this as an example of the twelve skills that are to come, helping you to dig deeper into the bottomless hole of your Faith. To get some idea of what I mean when I say, moving from self to God, I offer you the four dimensions of Church, from the big picture to an intimate way to seek God.
  • THE WONDERS OF THE CHURCH UNIVERSAL When you made your Faith profession, you joined not only those present in your local Church who have committed their lives to love others as Christ loves us but also the Church Universal. Here is a review of what it means to be an adopted son or daughter of the Father.

Read the document Lumen Gentium, the Constitution of the Church in the Modern World. 

http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19641121_lumen-gentium_en.html I don’t find this an easy read but an inspiring one. This is the current thinking of what it means to be a member of the Church.

Without the Christ Principle, through whom and in whom all life has its being, you will be looking at religion through secular eyes. The words are the same, but the meaning is different. The Jesus Seminar is an example of learned and extremely talented men and women who teach Scripture without God, but as historical events, some of which are true and some spurious. But, that is another blog, entitled, Whose Christ do you follow?


LENTEN CONVERSION: the most difficult choice you will ever make

The title of this blog is not my own, but the topic of Bishop Robert Barron’s YouTube Sunday sermon this week. I recommend that you subscribe to his YouTube channel.

I find that my Lectio Divina meditations are informed by my latest experiences, grounded, of course, in my Lectio of Philippians 2:5. Today, Bishop Barron’s insightful thoughts about Abraham and the sacrifice of Issac, his only son, to God stoked the fires of thought about my center and what is important in my life. In my book, The Place No One Wants to Look, I write of the importance of having a center, that one value, highest good, as Bishop Barron would say, above which there is no other. https://amzn.to/3r2ru9J My center is Philippians 2:5. “…have in you the mind of Christ Jesus.” It is the capstone, my highest aspiration in this life, and one which I hope to carry on into the next. I want you to read what Bishop Barron has to say about the most difficult choice any of us have to make. I found it a confirmation of what has been at the very center of my being. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-kQ2w97eN4

What is your center or highest good? Lent is a time to take stock of what is important in your spiritual life and check your priorities. If your priority is not God (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36), it is time to make all thing new once again.

One of the Holy Spirit’s insights that have pricked my otherwise routine retirement is that I must search for God each day where I find him and as I find him. If I choose God as the center of my life, I have to work to keep Him centered. I call this the Rule of Revolving Centers, one due to Original Sin’s effects and why I have to pray each day for God to have mercy of me, a sinner. Contemplative practice takes work and is not for the faint of heart. With Christ, all things are possible. https://amzn.to/3syxsPH

What is your center? If it is not God, what do you place there?



Lent is a profound time of introspection and conversion. Introspection, in that we must re-measure ourselves against the one command Christ left us: to love one another as he has loved us. Christ alone can make all things new in the heavens and on earth. Introspection without conversion leads to the danger of thinking that you don’t need Christ, only your opinion as to what is new or not. Read this passage from revelations three times. Once for meaning; once for linking this to how you love others as Christ loves us; and once in silence and silence without any agenda other than what the Holy Spirit tells you. Read slowly and prayerfully.

The New Heaven and the New Earth. 1a Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.* 2 I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem,* coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. b 3 heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race.c He will dwell with them, and they will be his people* and God himself will always be with them [as their God].* 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.”d 5 The one who sat on the throne* said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then he said, “Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.”e 6 He said to me, “They are accomplished.* I [am] the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty, I will give a gift from the spring of life-giving water.f 7The victor* will inherit these gifts, and I shall be his God, and he will be my son. g 8 But as for cowards,* the unfaithful, the depraved, murderers, the unchaste, sorcerers, idol-worshipers, and deceivers of every sort, their lot is in the burning pool of fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”h


Everything that is has a beginning and an end. In my book, The Christ Principle, I set forth six paradigm shift that emanates from God automatically just because He is. I think of it as God’s DNA, because all reality moves from simplicity to complexity then back to simplicity again in, with, and through Christ. All reality moves from God who has no beginning and an end through matter, time, energy, life, the evolution of the species of humans, the revolution of the corruption of matter by the passion, death, and resurrection, sustained by the Holy Spirit in the Church Universal until all returns once again in the Christ Principle. It is a cosmic strategy that uses natural processes, human nature, and then divine nature to make all things new. For God, all of this is a moment in time (even this is not correct, but we humans need to have some way for our nature to begin to appreciate the love God has for us).


For much of my lifetime, my spirituality assumed that it took a lifetime to achieve, so I have time to fritter away my purpose on things that are not central to my existence. I have slowly begun to shift my thinking from a lifetime to just living each day for what it is as I seek God. I couldn’t be happier with that switch. Here some other ways that I have moved from my false self to my true self, ones that I must reaffirm each day with the Christ Principle.

Contemplative practices are praying each day as I can, not as I think I should. I am actually praying more because I understand that, although I don’t think of Jesus each moment, I do switch my thoughts to how much Christ loves all of us. I want to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5) at each opportunity. When you love someone genuinely, you want to be with them as much as possible. You don’t feel fulfilled unless they are somehow part of your daily routine. I remember Brother Michael O.C.S.O. teaching us about the quality we need to be contemplative. In addition to silence and solitude, he mentioned balance. Staying anchored to reality is important to my spiritual maturation. I am conscious that I can lose my faith without humility and obedience to God’s will for me this day.

  • I live in a condition of corruption called the World, the physical and mental universes. While what God made is good, our prototype progenitors, Original Sin, entered the World because of Adam and Eve. Christ’s coming has to do with making all creation in sync once again, as it was in the beginning, to become resonant instead of dissonant.
  • Baptism takes away the hold this corruption of Original Sin had on all humanity, but it does not take away our humanity. We still must contend with the effects of that sin, but with a caveat: Christ lifts us up to a higher level, a new level not possible in the World. This is the level of the Kingdom of Heaven. God wanted all humans to have the opportunity to live as adopted sons and daughters of the Father. Not everyone will accept this call or even understand it. Making all things new, especially during Lent’s profound conversion time, means re-convert myself to the basics of what Christ taught us: to love one another as He loved us. Lent is a time for me to take stock of my behavior and convert my way of acting to be more like Christ and less like me (conversio morae).
  • Making all things new produces joy. This is not the joy that the World knows when we use the word. The awareness that all words in the Kingdom of Heaven are god’s meaning, not ours. Christ came to translate what that means for each of us as we live out our seventy or eighty years. He wrote no book, but his followers, thankfully, wrote down his ideas. John 20:30-31
  • If I replace old ways of thinking based on what the world dictates is of value, I make all things new. This has nothing to do with me but what Christ does. All I have to do is place myself in the presence of the Holy Spirit and wait.
  • Lent may be an intensive time for penance as we prepare to receive the gift of the Resurrection once again. Based on Cistercian practices and charisma, a Lay Cistercian way of life means having a daily mindset of making all things new. As I now view my ongoing spirituality, it means I am a penitential person who, each day, just asks for God to be merciful to me, a sinner.


The New Testament gives us the blueprint or the WHY, WHAT, AND SO WHAT of our Faith. The next period in our collective journey is that of the Church Universal. It exists of all those who are gathered together to celebrate the death of the Lord until he comes again (Eucharistic Prayer). It is the HOW that fulfills the WHAT and WHY of Christ. At each age, and most especially because I live out my life in that space of sixty to seventy years, I am here to know, love, and serve God in this life and to be happy with God in the next. (Baltimore Catechism, Question 6)

Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict each day.

Receive the Sacrament of Penance. If you have not been in the presence of Christ for confession during the past year (or longer). Go and make all things new. Better still, get into a penitential habit of receiving this Sacrament frequently. Where your heart is, there your treasure will be.


Lent is a time of reassessment and change. We move from our false self, imprinted with the effects of Original Sin to being free from the hostage to death. During your time of profound reflection in Lent, here are some thoughts I had from my Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5) on the idea, “If I made just one change, what would be the impact on how I look at reality?”


If you just thought about the Christ Principle as the reason why you exist, what would be the behavioral consequences? For me, Christ is the only way, the only truth, and the only life that leads to heaven. My challenge is to place myself in His presence as much as possible using Cistercian practices and charisms and soak up whatever He wants me to have. I thought about what that “soaking” would feel like as I sit on a bench in the dead of winter and wait for Christ to sit down next to me. After a while, I realize that Christ had been sitting down long before I got there and was just waiting for me to empty myself of my false self to begin to transform to my new life using the power of the Holy Spirit.

I don’t consider myself a religious zealot or fanatic, one whose passion is trying to get others to his or her notion of who Christ is. Rather, in silence and solitude, in the stillness of my heart, I seek God without words or ideas, or human concepts. Religious charlatans of all denominations seem to be full of the Holy Spirit but are only full of themselves. Follow me, they chant, and you will be saved. The Christ Principle is the only true way to salvation. There is no easy way to heaven but the cross. Resurrection without the cross is shallow and will not fill the hole left in the human heart from the sin of Adam and Eve. The World does not have the power to save us, only the love of Christ can fill that big hole left by Adam and Eve.

When I went outside yesterday to take out the trash, I noticed the clear, blue sky, inhaled the crisp air (crisp for Florida, that is), the felt the afternoon sun on my head and neck. It felt good. I thought about how this toasty warm Sun is like sitting next to Christ on the park bench and just soaking up goodness. Humans are so compulsive that we must always be doing something to feel like we justify our existence or are productive. I call that filling holes, and if we don’t have holes in our lives (death in the family, work, power, money, and religion), then we manufacture them so we can fill them. St. Augustine said it succinctly when he stated: our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.

We must be busy to be worth something in the eyes of the World. In the eyes of God, we are worth many sparrows, and the reason why Christ became human was to suffer and die to redeem us from the hole of death to be able to rise again as an adopted son or daughter of the Father. The Christ Principle is the one point into which all reality, physical, mental and spiritual, flow, and all reality finds purpose and justification. One thing you will never find Lucifer doing is giving up his life to redeem us from the hole of death. He wants you to give up your life for him and then laughs at you because you were so stupid not to choose God over evil.


  • Prayed every day to be like Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict? Every day! https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/chapter-4-the-tools-for-good-works/
  • Received the Sacrament of Penance to proclaim your unworthiness to be an adopted son or daughter of the Father and seek mercy from God for your failings and grace to move from false self to true self?
  • Joined yourself with the love of the heart of Christ for the Father to give honor and glory. Eating the bread of life enables you to become what you eat.
  • Loved others as Christ loved you?
  • Focused on helping all others become bearers of the sign of the cross as they can, not as you want?
  • Had in you the mind of Christ Jesus? (Philippians 2:5)
  • Preferred nothing to the love of Christ? (Chapter 4 of St. Benedict’s Rule)
  • Began each day with the Magnificat with Mary as Intercessor and Role Model of Humility?
  • Watched YouTube clips from both Bishop Robert Barron (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezZxL5xoEq8 http://www.wordonfire.org) and Dr. Scott Hahn? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2k-SZbj_gM)
  • Moved from meditation to contemplation using the phrase at the center of your life? (My phrase is Philippians 2:5) Meditation is your playground using your rules, words, ideas, prayers. Contemplation is God’s playground using only God’s rules (pure love, pure love, and pure service). The only way we can possibly even approach this state is with Christ as the Meditor and the Holy Spirit as the transformer.
  • Had a passion for being present to Christ through Cistercian practices of Lectio Divina, Eucharist, Rosary, Liturgy of the Hours, Reading Scripture, reading Cistercian men and women who daily converted their lives from their false self to their true selves?
  • Had a burning desire to share Christ crucified with others and not foist your notion of Christ on them?
  • Read Scripture so that you might come to believe that Jesus is Son of God, Messiah and that by believing in Him, you have life in his name.

26Now a week later, his disciples were again inside, and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”p27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”28*q Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”29* Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? r Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Conclusion.*30Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of [his] disciples that are not written in this book.s31But these are written that you may [come to] believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.t https://bible.usccb.org/bible/john/20


LENTEN CONVERSION: conversio morae

Lent is a period of reflection, a purification of all those false attitudes and ways of thinking that will keep me from realizing the importance of the Resurrection of Christ and its implications for me as I search for God each day.

Lent is a time of cleaning. The sinful and terrible choices that I have made I now identify and try to replace with those of the Spirit (Galatians 5). I may not even realize that I have fallen into bad habits or failure to love others as Christ loved us. This is the beauty and wisdom of the Sacrament of Penance. A sacrament is a holy meeting place facilitated by the Church Universal to keep me from becoming my own God. I measure myself, not by what I think is moral or acceptable behavior, but by what Scripture holds as the norm for believing.

The Sacrament of Penance uses our heritage of moving from false self to true self, a conversion opportunity for me to declare that he is the Son of God and Messiah and that believing in him, I might be happy with Him now and in heaven. The Church provides me with the context against which I measure my behavior to convert my actions to become more like Christ. St. Benedict’s Rule, Chapter 4 has a list of tools for good work that not only help my mind to convert to Christ but demands my behavior follows my belief. These are only tools and not the end-results of my actions.

The priest is the Church in this Sacrament and a visible mediator that takes a Christ we cannot see, but so are you also the Church. The priest holds us accountable for our actions and gives us the opportunity for Christ to give us grace for the next part of our journey. This is conversio morae with the core against which we measure ourselves as the Christ Principle, which is the sign of contradiction. All Sacraments are instituted by Christ to give me grace through, with, and in Christ to the glory of the Father.

Conversio Morae or my struggle with having in me the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5) is not something that happens just one time and then I can get on the conveyor belt of painless behaviors until I die. Far from it, I begin each day anew, not using the day before as having finally converted my life to Christ and now I can go about my business. Each day is a lifetime. Each day I must search for ways that I might love others as Christ loved me. The way I convert my life each day is by denying myself, taking up my cross daily, and following Christ. It is not meant to be easy and Christ won’t carry my cross. Like Joseph of Aramathea, he will help me lift whatever comes my way each day. Come to me, Christ insists, and I will give you rest for your soul.

The Gentle Mastery of Christ. 28* “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,* and I will give you rest. 29*p Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”


* [11:28] Who labor and are burdened: burdened by the law as expounded by the scribes and Pharisees (Mt 23:4).

* [11:29] In place of the yoke of the law, complicated by scribal interpretation, Jesus invites the burdened to take the yoke of obedience to his word, under which they will find rest; cf. Jer 6:16.


Faith comes as a gift from God. Belief is our response to that gift by saying, “Be it done to me, according to your Word.” Do you need to convert your love to that of loving others as Christ loved us? Answer these four questions in the stillness of your heart?

Do you believe that Jesus is profoundly present, body and blood, soul and divinity under the appearance of bread and wine? If you believe that is true, compare your behavior with Matthew 25.

The Judgment of the Nations.* 31f “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, 32g and all the nations* will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35h For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the righteous* will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?39When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’ 40i And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ 41*j Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42k For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.’ 44* Then they will answer and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’ 45He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ 46l And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

* [25:3146] The conclusion of the discourse, which is peculiar to Matthew, portrays the final judgment that will accompany the parousia. Although often called a “parable,” it is not really such, for the only parabolic elements are the depiction of the Son of Man as a shepherd and of the righteous and the wicked as sheep and goats respectively (Mt 25:3233). The criterion of judgment will be the deeds of mercy that have been done for the least of Jesus’ brothers (Mt 25:40). A difficult and important question is the identification of these least brothers. Are they all people who have suffered hunger, thirst, etc. (Mt 25:3536) or a particular group of such sufferers? Scholars are divided in their response and arguments can be made for either side. But leaving aside the problem of what the traditional material that Matthew edited may have meant, it seems that a stronger case can be made for the view that in the evangelist’s sense the sufferers are Christians, probably Christian missionaries whose sufferings were brought upon them by their preaching of the gospel. The criterion of judgment for all the nations is their treatment of those who have borne to the world the message of Jesus, and this means ultimately their acceptance or rejection of Jesus himself; cf. Mt 10:40, “Whoever receives you, receives me.” See note on Mt 16:27.

* [25:32] All the nations: before the end, the gospel will have been preached throughout the world (Mt 24:14); thus the Gentiles will be judged on their response to it. But the phrase all the nations includes the Jews also, for at the judgment “the Son of Man…will repay everyone according to his conduct” (Mt 16:27).

* [25:37–40] The righteous will be astonished that in caring for the needs of the sufferers they were ministering to the Lord himself. One of these least brothers of mine: cf. Mt 10:42.

* [25:41] Fire prepared…his angels: cf. 1 Enoch 10:13 where it is said of the evil angels and Semyaza, their leader, “In those days they will lead them into the bottom of the fire—and in torment—in the prison (where) they will be locked up forever.”

* [25:44–45] The accursed (Mt 25:41) will be likewise astonished that their neglect of the sufferers was the neglect of the Lord and will receive from him a similar answer.


How radically would your life change if you had this phrase at the very core of your being: Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus? (Philippians 2:5) If your behavior has not dramatically changed, then this may not be as important to you as you might claim. What do you need to change to convert your behaviors to reflect the love Christ had for us?

Do you truly believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, Savior? (John 20:30-31) Action is the product of belief. What do you do to show that you believe Christ’s resurrection is real now?

Do you live your life as though each day is a new opportunity to seek God where you are and as you are? Why not?


  • Receive the Sacrament of Penance this Lent.
  • Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict each day.
  • Read this blog each day to gain some insight into contemplative practices. https:thecenterforcontemplativepractice.org
  • When you sit on the edge of your bed and before you hit the floor, take 10 seconds to dedicate your day to the will of the Father, through, with, and in Christ as you seek him today, with the enablement of the Holy Spirit.
  • Go the http://www.divineoffice.org and read the Morning Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours. You can also access this blog on the website under resources on the lower right-hand side of the page.
  • Go to http://www.wordonfire.org and sign up for the daily meditations from Bishop Robert Barron.
  • If you really love someone, you will sell all you have to be with them. Would you do this if you love Christ?


LENTEN CONVERSION: don’t squabble over who should give

During Lent, I try to use Lectio Divina as a way to become a more penitential person, being more humble and obedient to the will of God each day. One of my Lectio meditations (not at the level of contemplation) is on the subject of giving. I think of my core Lectio Divina saying (Philippians 2:5): “have in you the mind of Christ Jesus.” I think about how giving God is and how I am so very far from what I should be.


The thought struck me that almsgiving and any type of giving have two dimensions. First, it makes me happy to give to others. In a way, my reward for giving is the good feeling I have in my stomach that I have made someone happy, that I have helped others somehow. When I notice people around me giving to others, something is missing here, even being generous to a fault. Giving as one who does it because they love to give others is common even among pagans and non-believers. When one receives the adoption as a son or daughter of the Father at Baptism, this is a gift from God to each of us. We are bid to do the same. When someone who is signed with the mark of the cross gives, they have all the feelings and emotions of giving to others as do their secular counterparts, but they do it in the name of Christ.

St. Benedict stresses hospitality in Chapter 53 of the Rule. Christ is the difference between what secular society thinks of in hospitality and those who have in them the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5) Read this chapter for yourself.

Chapter 53: The Reception of Guests

1 All guests who present themselves are to be welcomed as Christ, for he himself will say: I was a stranger and you welcomed me (Matt 25:35). 2 Proper honor must be shown to all, especially to those who share our faith (Gal 6:10) and to pilgrims. 3 Once a guest has been announced, the superior and the brothers are to meet him with all the courtesy of love. 4 First of all, they are to pray together and thus be united in peace, 5 but prayer must always precede the kiss of peace because of the delusions of the devil. 6 All humility should be shown in addressing a guest on arrival or departure. 7 By a bow of the head or by a complete prostration of the body, Christ is to be adored because he is indeed welcomed in them. 8 After the guests have been received, they should be invited to pray; then the superior or an appointed brother will sit with them. 9 The divine law is read to the guest for his instruction, and after that every kindness is shown to him. 10 The superior may break his fast for the sake of a guest, unless it is a day of special fast which cannot be broken. 11 The brothers, however, observe the usual fast. 12 The abbot shall pour water on the hands of the guests, 13 and the abbot with the entire community shall wash their feet. 14 After the washing they will recite this verse: God, we have received your mercy in the midst of your temple (Ps 47[48]:10). 15 Great care and concern are to be shown in receiving poor people and pilgrims, because in them more particularly Christ is received; our very awe of the rich guarantees them special respect.

The second dimension is much less celebrated; it is the art of receiving gifts from others. I have seen people close to me want to pick up the check when taking friends to dine to the point of actually squabbling over who should pay. It can get quite heated in the verbal jousting over who pays. Some people love to give but react negatively when someone tries to give a gift to them. As in the first dimension, receiving can be either secular or spiritual. Here are some thoughts I had about the quality of receiving.

If I am marked with the sign of the cross, I want to allow others to be generous with me. That does not mean I seek gifts, but rather see the humility to recognize that the one giving to me needs that to increase Christ in them. I want to be conscious of what is going on.

I offer my thanks to others without much fanfare. In the Eucharist, the Sign of Peace is probably not understood as something important, but you should take another look. The peace of Christ is not the absence of strife but the presence of love. When you share Christ with one another, the Christ in your heart embraces the heart of Christ in the other. You not only give the peace of Christ to someone else, but you receive it back with Jesus being present.

Receiving is the precursor to having the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist in your heart and mind, to once again commit yourself to Jesus as Lord and Savior. You receive Jesus into your heart, but you also give your love to the Father through, with, and in Christ with the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict once a day.



One of the concepts that help me to grow in the capacity of Christ in my heart is that of the Church. I use to think of the Church as being a body of rules and prescriptions that I had to believe in order to make it to heaven. Now, I just see that as a kickoff point for what is actually a quite sophisticated and ingenious way for Christ to take his command, “to love one another as I have loved you,” and make that real in each age for all races, for all genders, for all nationalities. What follows is an excerpt from my new book on The Art of Contemplative Practice: A Lay Cistercian reflects on a compendium of skills needed to move from self to God.


During his lifetime, the era of Christ is characterized by God becoming human in the form of Jesus of Nazareth. Humans were just not going in the right direction in the Old Testament. They needed to be re-directed toward a more catholic approach to salvation, including everyone using the lessons found in the Christ Principle. Jesus came to save us from going in the wrong direction and giving us the WHAT about how to become adopted sons and daughters of the Father and inherit the kingdom prepared for us from before the physical universe existed. If Jesus is the WHAT, then the extension of his presence in the physical and mental universes is the HOW, or the practice of those Christ Principles, every day. The minefield through which all humans must pass is called Original Sin or how to control the human condition in each of us to rise up to our potential as adopted sons and daughters of the Father and not descend into our animality past, which is not our nature. In this context, Christ founded his Church, the gathering of those who try to make the Christ Principle as the center of their lives, to DO those activities that will enable them to fulfill their human potential. The unbroken link with Christ is the Church Triumphant (those who have died in the peace of Christ and now enjoy the heaven that they have discovered on earth), the Church Militant (those still living and struggling to have in them the mind of Christ Jesus each day with the energy of the Holy Spirit as Advocate), and finally, those who get a second chance at redemption or anyone God chooses to give another shot at loving others as Christ loved us, the Church Purgative or Penitential. The Church Universal is only made up of living human beings, ones who have varying degrees of awareness of how to love God with all their minds, with all their hearts, and with all their souls, and their neighbor as themselves. This multi-dimensional Church has three bodies but only one head, consistent with the Holy Trinity’s template (one divine nature with three distinct persons). This template is one that I use to look at one reality from three distinct universes of conditions, the physical universe, the mental universe (only humans were raised up to this level of existence), and the spiritual universe (only those Baptized with water and the Holy Spirit are raised up by God to be humans who are adopted by God to live forever.)

As an individual human being, far fetched as it may sound, you are the center of all reality. Don’t think of this center as being like the center of a bulls eye on a target, but rather the purpose of all reality from the time that time began to when you were born in original sin. Everything that is, the physical universe, the fact that humans have the ability to reason and make free choices, the insertion of God into the human situation to help us with WHAT we should do to be with God in heaven, and finally the foundation of the Church as mother to nourish me and protect me from the violence of the human condition, gives me a chance to live and fulfill my destiny as a human being.

As Erick Fromm writes so succinctly in his book, The Art of Loving, humans are not born with love, they must acquire it. Not all notions about love lead to authenticity. Some lead to the corruption of the human person. We must not only master human love, which is the purpose of being human but also master the art of loving others as Christ has loved us. Christ did not just come down and say, “Do this or that, then die, leaving us orphans. He showed us how to conquer our temptations and seek God each day. He also told his followers and through them those who would gather together to DO what he said, that He would be with us as we journey in our particular and unique paths to that final gathering in heaven. The Art of Contemplative Practice means doing those activities and behaviors that allow the presence of God to influence the way we treat others and respect ourselves. The Cistercian Way is how I have chosen to express this desire to be in the presence of Christ through Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, Penance, Matrimony, Holy Orders, and Annoting of the Sick. I use this approach to spirituality because it is one which I am most familiar.


The Church is the occasion for the Holy Spirit to overshadow you with faith, hope, and love if you know what is going on. Liturgy is a collective way that the Body of Christ approaches God the Father through, with, and in Christ in unity with the Holy Spirit. The Church is “doing” what Christ left us to practice. The Church is there joined together with God’s DNA that contains the building blocks of contemplative practice moving through each successive age just for me to be able to say, “Jesus is Lord.”

As I try to live my purpose in life to seek God each day (Philippians 2:5), I use the following six questions as a focal point to help me stretch beyond what is comfortable so that I can find deeper meaning in three areas where it takes skill to move forward. These six questions form the core or bedrock of my contemplative practice.


  • What is the purpose of life?
  • What is your purpose of life within that purpose?
  • What does reality look like?
  • How does it all fit together?
  • How to love fiercely?
  • You know you are going to die, now what?


When you are accepted by God as an adopted son or daughter, your journey to Forever is just beginning. Like everything we do as human beings, it takes work. When you ratify your Faith, you begin to pack your bag for life with God forever. Love in the spiritual universe is not automatic; you must learn how to love others as Christ loved us. The Church becomes the school of charity to help each individual and gatherings of individuals to love. I have chosen to express or make this love real while I live with the Rule of St. Benedict, specifically with the Cistercian approach to contemplative practice. This book assumes that contemplative practices and skills don’t automatically appear magically from some invisible force like love, contemplative practices, and skills. There is an art to contemplative practice, one that demands discipline and mastery. This mastery will never be fully reached in this lifetime of trying to love God with our whole mind, our whole heart, and with all our strength. It is the time that we take each day to seek God as life unfolds, using, in my case, Cistercian practices and charisms to make sense out of reality. 

One of my concerns about conversion is the “one time is enough” syndrome. We are saved by the blood of Christ in His sacrifice on the cross, so we just get on the conveyor belt to behave, do what we want, then get off in Heaven. What is lacking in this approach is an appreciation of Original Sin and of humility and obedience needed to take up our cross daily and follow Christ as we meet Him each day. Being a follower of the Master is work, a daily battle against the ever-encroaching effects of Original Sin on our belief. Another of my concerns is that we don’t teach our members how to move from self to God each day, only an intellectual encounter with keeping the rules and obeying what the Church says is true. Don’t mistake that last statement as abandoning the role of the Church through the ages. “Outside the Church, there is no salvation.” I am saying that Christ gives us the WHAT and WHY to have in us the mind of Christ Jesus, but show us HOW. The Church should be the instrument or help us with good works to move from self to God. Refer to St. Benedict’s Rule, Chapter 4. https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/chapter-4-the-tools-for-good-works/ Don’t forget that these good works are not ends in themselves but are only tools that lead us to increase Christ in our hearts. Christ is the terminus of all that we do, not the Church. Our reformation must be to increase God’s capacity (capacitas dei) in us by using the help and prayers not just of me, but in union with all those gathered together in one faith, one, lord, one baptism. The local Church becomes the occasion where I meet Christ. The church is a gathering of believers who help me and, together with me, move more and more towards the love Christ expressed for us by dying on the cross for our sins.

The context in which all of us practice these sixteen skills we call The Church. I love the analogy of the Church Universal as Mother. A mother protects her children from harm and ensures that they are fed and their wounds and bruises are soothed. A mother knows the failures and faults of her children but is always there with them as they get up from their foibles and fallacies. A mother is a moral compass for their children to admonish them when they need it all the while expressing unconditional love. The Church Universal is about sustaining how to love Christ through our heritage and authority from the Apostles. As an individual who has a limited lifetime to learn how to love as Christ loved us, I am the Church particular to transform first myself and then, through me, to those I meet in my brief lifetime. The Church can be compared to a mother who patiently nourishes me (and all me’s that ever lived) with how to love fiercely and make sense out of the spiritual universe, which is the opposite of what the world has an assumption about the purpose of life. Each of us has the ability to reason and the choice to do whatever we choose. Some of these choices are authentic, and some are destructive. The purpose of the Church Universal is to help me get to heaven. (Baltimore Catechism, Question Number Six)

The Art of Contemplation is a way to look at reality that uses help from God to nudge us in the right direction so we can open our hearts to the heart of Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit.


Behind anything we believe are multiple assumptions about what is true. Both you and I will have a different take on reality because we are unique. I like the saying:

  • I am not you;
  • you are not me;
  • God is not you,
  • and you, most certainly, are not God. –Michael Conrad

Some assumptions I have in writing about The Art of Contemplative Practice.

I wrote all of my books as love letters from me to you, the result of my Lectio Divina meditations and contemplative thoughts that came from the Holy Spirit to me. I don’t speak for the Holy Spirit, only tune in to his television channel and watch whatever is presented. In that sense, I am a Scribe.

  • I don’t represent any viewpoint other than my own. I don’t speak for the Church Universal, The Catholic Church, the Rule of St. Benedict, the Cistercian Order, any Lay Cistercian organization. My writing is what I have been instructed to write, even if it does not make sense to me right now. These ideas are how I look at reality and answer the six core questions of what it means to be human. How I look at reality has been conditioned by the choices I have made. My choice is to have the Christ Principle at the center of all that I am. Don’t follow anything I do or say. Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5)
  • My Faith and belief have been informed by loving others as Christ loved us as promoted and sustained by the Roman Catholic Church. Some days are better than others.
  • I use contemplation from Cistercian practices and chrisms, as I understand them and practice seeking God each day in the context of whatever comes my way. I seek to transform myself from my false self to my true self by growing the capacity for God (capacitas dei) within me. To do that requires that I die to a false self each day to rise to new life. The challenge is to sustain that Lay Cistercian promise I made in the daily struggle to move from my false self to my true self in Christ Jesus.
  • I don’t do the Cistercian practices and charisms just to be doing them because I am bored and tired of the secular world’s false promises, but because it is how I can love as Christ loved us. The Art of Contemplation is about creating silence and solitude so that you can sit on a park bench in the dead of winter and wait for your heart to listen with “the ear of the heart,” as St. Benedict advises in his Prologue to the Rule. I long to wait for the Lord until He comes again in glory.

The Art of Contemplation is about my knowing what to choose to love as Christ loved us and doing the practices and receive the charisms to place myself in the presence of God through Christ using the energy of the Holy Spirit to help me. All of this is not about me, but about how I can make room for Christ in my heart.

I offer you sixteen different skills that I use to move from self to God. These skills are those that allow me to sit on a park bench in the dead of winter and approach God by keeping my mouth shut (God always approaches me, although I don’t always feel His presence). I don’t always practice them perfectly, but I do practice them daily in some form.


There are three levels of awareness of what it means to love that I wish to master before I die. It will take me a lifetime of trying to approach God by having in me the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5) Trying is a prayer in itself.

LEVEL ONE: Mastery of what it means to love in the secular world (RE: Erick Fromm’s, The Art of Loving. https://amzn.to/2XiMonP) Physical and Mental Universes

LEVEL TWO: Mastery of what it means to love others as Christ loves us. (RE: Learning to Love https://amzn.to/385zlfw) Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Universes aid in the Formation of Contemplative Practice. Continue to practice the sixteen skills of the Art of Contemplative Practice until you die.

LEVEL THREE: Mastery of the School of Love (RE: Developing A School of Love, https://amzn.to/3pOblUj) Spiritual Transformation from Self to God each day. Becoming what you read in Scripture.

I use the following sixteen skills to help me master the three different levels of spiritual awareness. Spiritual awareness in contemplative practice as a Lay Cistercian means that I try to grow in my capacity to have Christ in me. It is seeking God daily, with no reservations, with no agendas, with no expectations. With Christ as my center and the Christ Principle in my life, I don’t have to worry about what I am to eat or drink or what I am to wear, or what situations happen to me that day. Christ is there. It is the time I take to try to make room for Christ in my heart that is most meaningful, not just its attainment.


  • My answers to these six questions come as a result of working through them individually.
  • Each skill is dependent on the other and builds on the ones that precede them.
  • It takes a lifetime to master these skills because we begin each day from the beginning. That is why we must seek God each day in whatever comes our way. Each day is a lifetime.
  • Mastery becomes possible when you realize that you will never fully master the skills needed to live forever without the help of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There is no attainment or finality to any of these skills. They are only tools to allow you to approach the presence of Christ who, alone, can stand in the presence of God and give fitting honor and glory, forever and ever.
  • Mastery does not mean you either know it all or can do it all by a certain time. The Art of Contemplative Practice realizes that each day begins a new challenge, a new opportunity for you to have in you the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5). Each day I seek God is a lifetime and a beginning and end unto itself.
  • The struggle to love is the same as longing to have Christ grow in me while I decrease each day. It takes serious concentration. The four “S’s” of contemplative practice help as I prepare to face whatever comes my way: silence, solitude, stillness, sustainability, and seeking God each day as I am and where I am.
  • The Art of Contemplative Practice is all about loving Christ so much (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36). I am passionate about transforming my usual human routine with Cistercian practices and their charisms using the five S’s above. What starts out as a routine each day (as in the case of Liturgy of the Hours) becomes a chore, then moves to a habit when I make continuous choices to seek God in the depths of the words of the Psalmist and win the struggle of wills with the Satan.
  • The Art of Contemplative Practice has several stages. I found myself going through a period where I just wanted to do the prayers for the sake of the prayers. This is good, but it is only a step. The next phase was getting into a routine of daily Liturgy of the Hours of Lectio Divina. My object was to set a time and place and then meet it to say my prayers. The third phase was praying without noticing the words but rather how it made me feel in my relationship with God. Prayer is lifting the heart and mind to God. Sometimes the lifting is hefty, and I need help. I ask Christ to share my daily cross. Like Nicodemus, he is there for me each day.
  • To move from my false self to my true self takes action or movement. I must choose to pray with the habit of contemplative practice. This movement is to carve out pockets of time I spend with the one I love, not counting the inconvenience, the cost, the feeling in my stomach that all of this habitual practice of Liturgy of the Hours, Eucharist, Rosary, daily Lectio Divina (multiple times) and reading Scripture is worth it.
  • Because of original sin, all of us must recommit to the Christ Principle each day. We only live in the moment of the NOW, not the past, nor the future. Only God lives in a perpetual NOW in Heaven. We must transform our NOW choices while we live on earth to conform with God’s will.
  • The sixteen skills are what I use to help me commit each day to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus.
  • If the School of Love is our community of Faith, where we learn HOW to do WHAT Christ instructed us, these skills come from God to help us move from our false self to our true self.
  • One of those quirky, pesky side effects of Original Sin is having to learn by working at it. We don’t have infused knowledge but must work for it. These skills must be acquired by learning how to know, love, and serve God and be happy with Him in heaven.
  • The Art of Contemplative Practice is being present to Christ by using Cistercian contemplative practices to receive the Cistercian charisms that allow us to grow in the capacity of God (capacitas dei). I use my free will to place myself in a condition whereby I sit on a park bench in the dead of winter and wait for Christ to speak to me. These skills help me to be in silence and solitude as I contemplate the Mystery of Faith each day.


There are sixteen skills that I propose as the core habits to acquiring what St. Benedict calls the Tools of Good Works (Chapter 4 of his Rule). Skills are about HOW to do contemplation. Contemplation is about using Meditation to move deeper into an abandonment of thoughts so that you focus on being present to Christ and listening with the “ear of the heart.” My new book will be a “How-to” book on contemplative practices that I use.


the genesis effect

The first chapters of the Book of Genesis provide the opening written statement of what it means to be human. The oral traditions handed down through centuries surely took on characteristics of their own as different cultures and diverse authors reflected on their human condition and proposed how the God of Abraham related to them. In fact, there are four written sources that have been identified in the first chapters of Genesis, plus two differing creation accounts. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Documentary_hypothesis#:~:text=The%20documentary%20hypothesis%20posited%20that,to%20the%20Solomonic%20period%20(c.

Suffice it to say that Genesis is not as simplistic as you might think. For me, this book points out archetypal characteristics of what it means to be human and how humanity is essentially good but wounded by the sin of Adam and Eve. I think of it as the Genesis Effect in my view of reality. Here are some characteristics:

What is the nature of humans? The writers of Genesis had various ways to express what it means to be human. At the core of humanity is the ability to reason and free choice. What you choose can either be helpful or hurt you. Adam and Eve discovered the consequences of their choice were dying, having to work, the pains of everyday living such as childbirth, the awareness that they were naked, the consequences of jealousy and envy in the murder of Abel by Caine, the confusion of languages, and having to struggle to believe that God is God and that you are not God.

God is seen through anthropomorphic representation. Humans can not define God because their nature is not divine but human. What they do comprehend must be consistent with their human nature and experiences. The Garden of Eden’s context is that of a grand gardener hiring humans to tend it and care for it. Still, jealousy, envy, covetousness of materials things, and pride caused Adam (from the earth) and Eve (mother of humanity) to choose themselves rather than God as their center. Today, we have the completed Scriptures with centuries of commentary about what is true and what is not. Humans, even in the Old Testament encounters of Moses, the Judges, the Kings, and Prophets all experienced God through events, natural phenomena such as lightning at the top of the mountain, ending with Christ and the Word becoming flesh so He could be of human nature and relate what God’s love for us is. Genesis is a commentary on wounded human nature and our search for fulfillment. As John 20:30-31 says, these stories are to give you the opportunity to believe that Jesus is Son of God, Messiah, and that by believing in Him, you might have everlasting life. In is only very recently that we have Scriptural experts that parce the words and meanings with various points of view, often contradicting each other as they point out the contradictions contained in the passage of evolution from one understanding of God in the OT to a deeper fulfillment in the NT.

The Genesis Effect is most evident today. What was true for those keepers of the traditions handed down to them from previous generations is also true today. St. Paul stresses the relationship of Adam as the first man through what Jesus did as this second Adam died for our sins, released us from the hostage of death as the purpose of life, and allowed us to become sons and daughters of the Father. It is the Garden of Eden in its fullest sense once again. It is the New Jerusalem changed from tribal religion to a global one. It fulfills the purpose of human existence to have reason and make choices based on that reason. It fulfills the longing in the human heart to be present in the heart of Christ. It fulfills our destiny as human beings, both individually and collectively as Church Universal.

I need to begin each day seeking God in where I am and as I am. I need to practice good works (Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict) consistently and pray Lectio Divina each day. https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/chapter-4-the-tools-for-good-works/

The Genesis Effect reminds me that I am a pilgrim in a foreign land (earth) and that I must struggle with Original Sin’s effects to keep myself center on Christ. Because of Original Sin, my commitment to Christ will begin to rust if I don’t keep myself focused on Christ (with the help of the Holy Spirit, of course).

Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of Benedict each day and pray that you become what you read.



During one of our Gathering Days of Lay Cistercians at Our Lady of the Holy Spirit Monastery (www.trappist.net), one of our members asked the question about the difficulty of keeping to a schedule to do Cistercian practices. The question also plagues me and how I confront trying to have silence and solitude in a world whose attention span is less than ten seconds. Here are some of the issues that I have solved for myself and some that still need to be addressed.

I am not a monk but a Lay Cistercian, retired, over 80 years old, living with past history of cardiac arrest (Widowmaker) and Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (arrested) with a pacemaker put in in August of 2020. This is what I must work with as I try to seek God every day.

Some days are better than others. The ole temple of the Holy Spirit has lots of wear and tear over the years and has weathered many storms. It is continuity with my center that keeps me grounded in the source of my spirituality, i.e., “Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:)

I don’t know, nor do I now care, what events or happenings come my way each day (e.g., COVID 19, my cancer, my cardiac arrest, a rock falling from the sky and destroying all humanity, my death). What does matter is that Jesus died for me just so I could have the opportunity to be called an adopted son (or daughter) of the Father and to be happy in Heaven forever.

Death is one of four door through which I must pass:

  1. Birth
  2. Baptism
  3. Conversion Morae (ongoing each day of my life)
  4. Death

Everything else is just superfluous to my center, important, but still tangential.

Being part of a local community of Faith helps me be consistent with my daily practices. Remember, I am retired so I am all the time there is to seek God each day. We share Liturgy of the Hours (Office of Readings, Morning Prayer in the AM and Evening Prayer in the PM) in a group setting at our local Church. Until COVID 19 hit, I was a regular. Now, I guess I am irregular. I do have a plan to begin my consistency very soon again.

I read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict each day (in addition to my community prayers).

I write down my blog Lectio Divina experiences every day, if possible.

I don’t follow a timetable or a schedule for completion of the Cistercian practices right now, but that will change when I return to my community prayer continuity.

Brother Michael O.C.S.O. told us that we should pray as we can and not as we should. My emphasis is seeking God daily as I can and where I am.



Everyone has a center of their life. It is that one principle, that one value upon which all others find their support. Granted that your center as a twenty-year-old may not be the one you have when you are sixty, but you will have a center, even if you don’t know what it is. My thinking about centers has nothing to do with centering prayer, in my opinion. It means that the center of each person’s life is a free choice made by human reasoning and experience. Only you can choose a center that is, for you, the one principle upon which all others are based.

When you look at the art of contemplative practice, or how you must learn to use the tools given to us by Christ to be able to love one another. St. Benedict prescribed the tools for good works in Chapter 4 of his Rule, as well as chapters on humility and obedience, both essential to being able to die to self and rise to a new life in Christ.

A center, in just the physical and mental universes is using your reason to be able to choose what one value all others rest, the keystone of your life, that which, if you took it away, nothing would remain, the capstone of a building, the North on your compass. If I do not believe in God, my center is limited to the world around me. Personally, being on the North side of 80 years old, I am grateful to get up each morning and creek around the house until I get acclamated. I like to write books no one reads and to have a blog that allows my neurons to synapt and keep the cobwebs away. This alone won’t be enough to satisfy my real longing.

When you use your Faith to jump from the physical and mental universes to the spiritual one, one where everything is turned upside down in values and what is important, your center becomes what sustains you in this life for the life to come. If you wish to read one of those books no one reads but me, I recommend the following ones on centers. https://amzn.to/2Om5w2M https://amzn.to/3rLmO7S

The spiritual universe’s center is the default over the physical and mental universes because what you place there lasts forever, with one caveat. While you are on earth, the Devil will constantly tempt you to choose another center, so you must work daily to keep yourself focused on seeking God. Being a Lay Cistercian is one way, in fact, the only way for me to keep my center from resolving out of control. In my book, The Three Rules of the Spiritual Universe, I write about just three rules that govern the spiritual universe. They are:

1. The Rule of Threes — When asking the question, “What does reality look like?” I use three universes to separate what I have come to parce out as three dimensions or universes in which I live. The physical universe, the mental universe, and the spiritual universe. One reality, yet only three separate and distinct realms of existence, each with its own measurements, requirements, purpose, and center.

2. The Rule of Revolving Centers– In the spiritual universe, while you are a member of the Church Militant, you must battle against the forces that try to tear your center from its rightful place. This is not only the deterioration effects of Original Sin that cause all things to have a beginning and an end, but also the natural corruption that occurs when we leave our center unattended. Like an ice cube, if you don’t keep it frozen in the freezer of contemplative practice, it will melt. Guaranteed. This is called losing one’s faith. We must not only choose the correct center for our individual life, but you must also guard it daily from the corrupting influences of the World and the seduction of the Devil that God is just a fantasy and Heaven is la-la land. Contemplative practices and charisma are to be used daily to combat the influences of decay and moral relativism that has permeated our collective thinking.

3. The Rule of Opposites — This rule means that, with the coming of Christ, the splitting of the veil in the temple, the power of the Resurrection, the expectations of the World are the opposite of what God sets forth as being reality. Think about it! The measurements for proving this spiritual universe turned upside down, like a polar shift in the magnetic field. Up is down and down is up. When measured with the yardstick of science, logic, psychology, and any other measurement or proof of reality that the world has, none of it makes any sense. It is only when we are given the key to the kingdom of heaven at Baptism that we have a chance throughout our lifetime to find out where the lock is and how to use it to fulfill our destiny as humans. Our Nicene Creed proclaims over and over (we forget it so easily) that there is a visible and invisible reality. One thing you won’t find the Devil doing, according to Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen in his book, The Life of Christ, is suffering and dying for the sins of all humans, unconditionally. The cross is the one sign Satan cannot bear to look at because it means God so loved the world that he gave us his only-begotten son to redeem us. This redemption is the sign of contradiction, the cross, burned indelibly on each soul that is Baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. It is our invisible tattoo. The world laughs and scoffs at anything to do with self-denial, taking up one’s cross to follow Christ, believing in a person we cannot see, humility, obedience to another person taking the place of Christ, and following the rule that we love one another as Christ loves us. The Rule of Opposites proclaims that the nothingness of God created all that has a beginning and an end. With the Rule of Opposites, humans can see through a glass darkly at what awaits us in the life to come.


WHAT DOES GOD SAY HIS CENTER IS? Everyone has a center, even God (apologies to God for presuming so much). God not only told us what his center is, but he also showed us.  

Read the encounter of Moses and God in Genesis 3. I recommend you read it three time. First, read it through normally; in your second reading, read it very slowly pondering on the meaning; for the third time, read it as though you were Moses and identify what it means.

The Call and Commission of Moses.7 But the LORD said: I have witnessed the affliction of my people in Egypt and have heard their cry against their taskmasters, so I know well what they are suffering. 8 Therefore I have come down* to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and lead them up from that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey, the country of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Girgashites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.d 9 Now indeed the outcry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen how the Egyptians are oppressing them. 10 Now, go! I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt. 11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I* that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 12 God answered: I will be with you, and this will be your sign* that I have sent you. When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will serve God at this mountain. 13 “But,” said Moses to God, “if I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what do I tell them?” 14 God replied to Moses: I am who I am.* Then he added: This is what you will tell the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you. 15 God spoke further to Moses: This is what you will say to the Israelites: The LORD, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.


[3:14] I am who I am: Moses asks in v. 13 for the name of the One speaking to him, but God responds with a wordplay which preserves the utterly mysterious character of the divine being even as it appears to suggest something of the inner meaning of God’s name: ‘ehyeh “I am” or “I will be(come)” for “Yhwh,” the personal name of the God of Israel. While the phrase “I am who I am” resists unraveling, it nevertheless suggests an etymological linking between the name “Yhwh” and an earlier form of the Hebrew verbal root h-y-h “to be.” On that basis many have interpreted the name “Yhwh” as a third-person form of the verb meaning “He causes to be, creates,” itself perhaps a shortened form of a longer liturgical name such as “(God who) creates (the heavenly armies).” Note in this connection the invocation of Israel’s God as “LORD (Yhwh) of Hosts” (e.g., 1 Sm 17:45). In any case, out of reverence for God’s proper name, the term Adonai, “my Lord,” was later used as a substitute. The word LORD (in small capital letters) indicates that the Hebrew text has the sacred name (Yhwh), the tetragrammaton. The word “Jehovah” arose from a false reading of this name as it is written in the current Hebrew text. The Septuagint has egō eimi ho ōn, “I am the One who is” (ōn being the participle of the verb “to be”). This can be taken as an assertion of God’s aseity or self-existence, and has been understood as such by the Church, since the time of the Fathers, as a true expression of God’s being, even though it is not precisely the meaning of the Hebrew.

God is telling Moses (all humans) that He is, or I am my own center. This is all the more significant because Adam and Eve also said they were their own centers, not God, and… you know the rest of the story, as the late Paul Harvey would say. Listen to Mr. Harvey’s inspirational “Letter from God” and think of you and God having a conversation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ueqSbriu8


God Himself provided us with the answers to this, coincidentally the same in both Old and New Testaments.

Deuteronomy 6:5 http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/__P4L.HTM
Hear then, Israel, and be careful to observe them, that you may grow and prosper the more, in keeping with the promise of the LORD, the God of your fathers, to give you a land flowing with milk and honey. \

4 1 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone!

5 Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.

6 Take to heart these words which I enjoin on you today.

7 Drill them into your children. Speak of them at home and abroad, whether you are busy or at rest.

8 2 Bind them at your wrist as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead.

9 Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates.

Read what Jesus said was at the center of all reality as found in Matthew 22.

34 When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together,

35 and one of them [a scholar of the law] 20 tested him by asking,

36 “Teacher, 21 which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

37 He said to him, 22 “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.

38 This is the greatest and the first commandment.

39 The second is like it: 23 You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

40 24 The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”



You are the center of the physical and mental universes for whatever time you spend on earth. You are not the center of all reality, only God is that. You are given reason and the ability to choose to be able to select your center voluntarily and freely, even if it is a bad center. There are consequences to all of our choices, which is why Jesus became human, one of us, to show us the footprints we should follow lest we step on a land mine. If you listened to Mr. Harvey’s YouTube in the segment above, it would speak to this center.


My center is based on what God has determined as the center of all reality, not what I think. I have selected a center that informs all my behaviors as a Lay Cistercian. I affirm that center as I pray the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in the heavens.” I have selected as my center, the phrase from Philippians 2:5, “Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus.” Each day, I begin anew the quest to seek God where I am and as I am.

Praise be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who as, and who is to come at the end of the ages. Amen and Amen. –Cistercian doxology


Yogi Berra’s supposed saying, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it,” is witty but perhaps a wise description of choices we all must make if we try to be contemplative in our practice. We live in the temporal time of the present, or the NOW. The past flitters by and is to be recalled at some point to learn from those choices we have made during each NOW moment. The future is for us to learn from our past to make informed choices that lead to the fulfillment of our purpose in life and reinforce our center. Without wishing to seem sin-centered rather than Christ-centered, sin is a choice that misses the mark. But what mark? Who gives us the moral target for which we must aim? In the process of moving from my false self to my true self, I must choose either one or the other. Here are five seeming “either-or” choices that Lay Cistercians, as all who seek God daily face, as we move through our succession of NOWs.


God and Money. 24* “No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.* [6:24] Mammon: an Aramaic word meaning wealth or property.https://bible.usccb.org/bible/matthew/6

This familiar saying of Jesus is a classic choice on a large scale, the 50,000 foot level of contemplative practice, as I see it. This phrase frames the reality that all of us face if we wish to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Christ. These two polar opposites represent choices that have stark consequences for those who make the choices. If I choose mammon, then the center of my life is me, a puny god indeed. Wealth deteriorates because it is a thing. We can neither take it to heaven nor leave it to rust on earth. If I choose God, the results are sometimes postponed for future gain in Heaven. Heaven is God’s playground and if I choose to play in his sandbox, I must use his rules and regulations. The rule is to love others as Christ loved us. God’s riches are found in the Scriptures and you and I have been graced to have this how-to book of collecting riches available to us. Only the rich go to Heaven, but you must choose God’s riches, not yours. https://amzn.to/3d1Idpu


The saying, “extra ecclesiam, nulla salus,” that is, outside the Church there is no salvation, can be interpreted according to how you view spiritual reality. It does not mean only Catholics go to Heaven. It does mean that when all humans die and face their judgment/accountability for how they loved others as Christ loved them, there are only two choices. You must choose to go to Hell because you know that God is love, and you reject that. In this sense, no person in his right mind would want to go to Hell when faced with a choice of love or hopelessness. St. Benedict in his Chapter 4 of the Rule, bids his monks to:

41 Place your hope in God alone.
42 If you notice something good in yourself, give credit to God, not to yourself,
43 but be certain that the evil you commit is always your own and yours to acknowledge.

44 Live in fear of judgment day
45 and have a great horror of hell. https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/chapter-4-the-tools-for-good-works/

These two choices we make while we are living as the Church Militant on earth. The Church Triumphant are those God has found worthy and is merciful to them. The Church Purgative are those who are given a second chance to love others as Christ loved us. They must learn the lessons that escaped them while on earth. God is merciful to those who ask for forgiveness and hears the cry of the poor.


There are two choices for the fundamental questions that remains unnoticed and the elephant in the room: who is god? There are two choices as Adam and Eve found out (Genesis 1-2). Choosing God seems like a poor choice. After all, Christ tells us we must deny ourselves, take up our daily cross, and follow him. This road is, like the life of a pilgrim in a foreign land, fraught with obstacles. But, just because your road is rocky, doesn’t mean you are on the wrong road. The road we take is the same ones outlined in the Gospels from Nazareth and Bethlehem to Calvary. It is the sign of contradiction, the cross, one that is indelibly tattooed into our hearts from the moment Christ accepts us as adopted sons and daughters of the Father.

The second choice can only be one person, me. I am god. I possess some of the qualities of God ( I am made in the image and likeness of God, just as Adam and Eve were). I have reason for a reason and free choices to make my kingdom of this world fit me. My life only lasts for seventy or eighty years, if I am strong, as the Psalmist writes. I speak for my world, one limited in space and time and forgotten by all. I would make a puny god. I am the god of my body for those brief years I am here on earth. I compete with God for power and glory and often seem to win, even delighting in defeating the Church with centuries of tradition in favor of who I think God is. I make a puny god. Watch the Avengers Youtube about a puny god. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31ZjnrHR8EA


Here again, there are two choices: either I fit into God’s plan, or God fits into my plan (or whatever I think at the moment). What seems like a simple choice is actually at the root of the Fall’s Genesis account from Grace. This choice is seductive, as was the whispering of the snake into the ear of Eve that provoked jealousy, power, envy, and pride. One way to tell the charlatans from authentic seekers of God is to look for humility and obedience to God’s will, versus pride and thinking that they have the truth and everyone else is going to Hell. There is no love with the false promises of Satan, only hatred and disappointment. I think this is the biggest failure of the United States system of relativism and casuistry. Everyone is right, so no one can have a North on the compass.


Galatians 5 sets forth the duality between the spirit and the flesh. All of these choices seem to overlap each other. In the case of two universes or three, I make a choice for the World to be my center, or I can choose something totally at odds with human instincts and reasoning, the cross. Two universes (physical and mental) are ways I use to make sense of the ways we approach contemplative practice. Three universes (physical, mental, and spiritual) allow deeper penetration of reality. The difficulty for some is that this third universe of spirituality is the opposite, the sign of contradiction with the other two. You are asked to put your faith in the Creed, that there are three persons but one nature. Humans will probably never know how that happens because we do not possess the capacity or capability of God, merely that of a human. Contemplative practice means I try to expand my humanity to make room for Christ in my expression of love as He loved us. It is not an attainment but a process that begins each morning and concludes each evening. Each day is sufficient unto itself.

These five choices help me to answer the six questions that all humans must confront before they die. https://amzn.to/2MRs3UI

  • What is the purpose of life?
  • What is my purpose within that purpose?
  • What does reality look like?
  • How does it all fit together?
  • How to love fiercely?
  • You know you are going to die, now what?

Lay Cistercian spirituality, based on the Cistercian practices and charisms, provide me with a way to answer the choices in these six questions correctly. In silence and solitude, with humility and obedience to Christ, I seek God each day, simply, balanced with work, prayer, in the context of community.

Praise be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who is to come at the end of the ages. Amen and Amen. –Cistercian doxology


What would you do to the current political debacle if you were the Devil? I would convince the United States that political parties are a new religion, that hatred of personality replaces public policy, that revenge and calumny substitutes for civility and cooperation, that the individual is always right because they have rights, and that free speech is acceptable as long as it agrees with my view. If you think there is no evil or Devil behind our fall from the rule of law (God’s law) and honor, then Satan has already won the arm-wrestling match with you.

Listen to what the late Paul Harvey has to say about the answer to “If I were the Devil.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9NoQHgjM_0

I won’t make any other comments other than to say, “When politics is substituted for the laws of God, the wages of sin is death.” I hope that I continue to struggle with the difference between what is easy and what is right. Eating the fruit of the tree of good and evil knowledge has never been easier and more convenient. When politics is my religion, then I have a fool for a god. The United States, or any political ideology, will implode upon itself if it is not based on what God says is true. With the Psalmist, I do not place my trust in princes, nor governors, nor congresses, nor principalities, for they all consume themselves with their own importance.

Read this Psalm through three times, very slowly and deliberately. The first time, read it for the words; the second time, read it for meaning with your mind; the third time, read it as the Psalmist with your heart.

1Hallelujah!2Praise the LORD, my soul;

I will praise the LORD all my life,

sing praise to my God while I live.a


3Put no trust in princes,

in children of Adam powerless to save.b4Who breathing his last, returns to the earth;

that day all his planning comes to nothing.c


5Blessed the one whose help is the God of Jacob,

whose hope is in the LORD, his God,6The maker of heaven and earth,

the seas and all that is in them,d

Who keeps faith forever,7secures justice for the oppressed,e

who gives bread to the hungry.

The LORD sets prisoners free;f8the LORD gives sight to the blind.

The LORD raises up those who are bowed down;g

the LORD loves the righteous.9The LORD protects the resident alien,

comes to the aid of the orphan and the widow,h

but thwarts the way of the wicked.10The LORD shall reign forever,

your God, Zion, through all generations!i


* [Psalm 146] A hymn of someone who has learned there is no other source of strength except the merciful God. Only God, not mortal human beings (Ps 146:34), can help vulnerable and oppressed people (Ps 146:59). The first of the five hymns that conclude the Psalter.

a. [146:2Ps 103:1104:33.

b. [146:3Ps 118:89.

c. [146:4Ps 90:3104:291 Mc 2:63Jb 34:1415Eccl 3:2012:7Sir 40:11Is 2:22.

d. [146:6Ps 121:2124:8Ex 20:11Acts 14:15Rev 14:7.

e. [146:7Ps 103:6.

f. [146:7Ps 68:7Is 49:961:1.

g. [146:8Ps 145:14.

h. [146:9Ps 68:6Dt 10:18.

i. [146:10Ps 145:13Lam 5:19.

The Devil exists and tempts us to make God in our own image.

The Devil is not one of those divine beings as Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, although he would like you to think of him that way and worship him.

The Devil is a creation of God that has no corporeal body , only reason and the ability to choose.

The Devil chose himself as God and wants nothing more than to seduce all Adams and Eves to his will.

The Devil is not equal to God, although he wants you to worship at the Abrahamic altar to sacrifice your free will and choice to him.

You will never find the Devil sacrificing himself for his cause on a cross, enduring the passion and death to show his redemptive love. He wants you to suffer and die for a false promise and then laugh in your face for being so spineless that you did not prefer the love of Christ to him.

Never doubt that we are in a battle over wills (God’s and yours).

Don’t be seduced into thinking that love means what you can get out of life for yourself. Rather, it is always about the sign of contradiction, the cross, that which you have tattooed on your soul, the cross. Read Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen’s book, The Life of Christ. https://sacredheartshrine.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Life-of-Christ-Fulton-J.-Sheen.pdf


Most of the time, my Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5) meditations just remain at the level of thinking about Christ. This time, I flirted with the contemplation of what I had just been thinking: there is so much that I don’t know about everything related to Christ that I am but a drop of water compared to the ocean of reality that is God. I am discouraged and have perhaps a tiny appreciation of what St. Thomas Aquinas says about God after his meditations on reality. I am not so much fearful as I am that, in a lifetime of struggling to have in me the mind of Jesus (Philippians 2:5), all that I have accumulated is so very limited and just a drop in the ocean of the one who is.

I have an admitted problem, one much like the “thorn in the flesh” of St. Paul in II Corinthians 12. I offer you the complete text for your meditation. Read it three times; the first time for the words; the second time place yourself as St. Paul, writing for the Corinthians; the third time, read it very slowly so that you can become what you read. I added the references at the end so that you can do what I do, that is, go back to the text to get the context.

I* must boast; not that it is profitable, but I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord.2 I know someone in Christ who, fourteen years ago (whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows), was caught up to the third heaven.3 And I know that this person (whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows) 4 was caught up into Paradise and heard ineffable things, which no one may utter.a 5 About this person* I will boast, but about myself, I will not boast, except about my weaknesses. 6 Although if I should wish to boast, I would not be foolish, for I would be telling the truth. But I refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or hears from me 7 because of the abundance of the revelations. Therefore, that I might not become too elated,* a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.b 8 Three times* I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,c9* but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses,* in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.d 10 Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ;e for when I am weak, then I am strong.*

Selfless Concern for the Church.* 11 I have been foolish. You compelled me, for I ought to have been commended by you. For I am in no way inferior to these “super-apostles,” f even though I am nothing. 12* The signs of an apostle were performed among you with all endurance, signs, and wonders, and mighty deeds .g 13 * In what way were you less privileged than the rest of the churches, except that on my part I did not burden you? Forgive me for this wrong!h 14 Now I am ready to come to you this third time. And I will not be a burden, for I want not what is yours, but you. Children ought not to save for their parents, but parents for their children. 15 I will most gladly spend and be utterly spent for your sakes. If I love you more, am I to be loved less? 16 But granted that I myself did not burden you, yet I was crafty and got the better of you by deceit.i 17 Did I take advantage of you through any of those I sent to you? 18 I urged Titus to go and sent the brother with him. Did Titus take advantage of you? Did we not walk in the same spirit? And in the same steps?j

Final Warnings and Appeals.* 19 Have you been thinking all along that we are defending* ourselves before you? In the sight of God we are speaking in Christ, and all for building you up, beloved. 2 0For I fear that* when I come I may find you not such as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish; that there may be rivalry, jealousy, fury, selfishness, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.k 21 I fear that when I come again* my God may humiliate me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, immorality, and licentiousness they practiced.

* [12:14] In the body or out of the body: he seemed no longer confined to bodily conditions, but he does not claim to understand the mechanics of the experience. Caught up: i.e., in ecstasy. The third heaven…Paradise: ancient cosmologies depicted a multitiered universe. Jewish intertestamental literature contains much speculation about the number of heavens. Seven is the number usually mentioned, but the Testament of Levi (2:7–10; 3:1–4) speaks of three; God himself dwelt in the third of these. Without giving us any clear picture of the cosmos, Paul indicates a mental journey to a nonearthly space, set apart by God, in which secrets were revealed to him. Ineffable things: i.e., privileged knowledge, which it was not possible or permitted to divulge.

* [12:57] This person: the indirect way of referring to himself has the effect of emphasizing the distance between that experience and his everyday life, just as the indirect someone in Christ (2 Cor 12:2) and all the passive verbs emphasize his passivity and receptivity in the experience. The revelations were not a personal achievement, nor were they meant to draw attention to any quality of his own.

* [12:7] That I might not become too elated: God assures that there is a negative component to his experience so that he cannot lose proper perspective; cf. 2 Cor 1:9; 4:7–11. A thorn in the flesh: variously interpreted as a sickness or physical disability, a temptation, or a handicap connected with his apostolic activity. But since Hebrew “thorn in the flesh,” like English “thorn in my side,” refers to persons (cf. Nm 33:55; Ez 28:24), Paul may be referring to some especially persistent and obnoxious opponent. The language of 2 Cor 12:7–8 permits this interpretation. If this is correct, the frequent appearance of singular pronouns in depicting the opposition may not be merely a stylistic variation; the singular may be provoked and accompanied by the image of one individual in whom criticism of Paul’s preaching, way of life, and apostolic consciousness is concentrated, and who embodies all the qualities Paul attributes to the group. An angel of Satan: a personal messenger from Satan; cf. the satanic language already applied to the opponents in 2 Cor 11:3, 13–15, 20.

* [12:8] Three times: his prayer was insistent, like that of Jesus in Gethsemane, a sign of how intolerable he felt the thorn to be.

* [12:9] But he said to me: Paul’s petition is denied; release and healing are withheld for a higher purpose. The Greek perfect tense indicates that Jesus’ earlier response still holds at the time of writing. My grace is sufficient for you: this is not a statement about the sufficiency of grace in general. Jesus speaks directly to Paul’s situation. Is made perfect: i.e., is given most fully and manifests itself fully.

* [12:9b–10a] Paul draws the conclusion from the autobiographical anecdote and integrates it into the subject of this part of the boast. Weaknesses: the apostolic hardships he must endure, including active personal hostility, as specified in a final catalogue (2 Cor 12:10a). That the power of Christ may dwell with me: Paul pinpoints the ground for the paradoxical strategy he has adopted in his self-defense.

* [12:10] When I am weak, then I am strong: Paul recognizes a twofold pattern in the resolution of the weakness-power (and death-life) dialectic, each of which looks to Jesus as the model and is experienced in him. The first is personal, involving a reversal in oneself (Jesus, 2 Cor 13:4a; Paul, 2 Cor 1:9–10; 4:10–11; 6:9). The second is apostolic, involving an effect on others (Jesus, 2 Cor 5:14–15; Paul, 2 Cor 1:6; 4:12; 13:9). The specific kind of “effectiveness in ministry” that Paul promises to demonstrate on his arrival (2 Cor 13:4b; cf. 2 Cor 10:1–11) involves elements of both; this, too, will be modeled on Jesus’ experience and participation in that experience (2 Cor 913:3b).

* [12:1118] This brief section forms an epilogue or concluding observation to Paul’s boast, corresponding to the prologue in 2 Cor 11:115. A four-step sequence of ideas is common to these two sections: Paul qualifies his boast as folly (2 Cor 11:112:11a), asserts his noninferiority to the “superapostles” (2 Cor 11:5; 12:11b), exemplifies this by allusion to charismatic endowments (2 Cor 11:6; 12:12), and finally denies that he has been a financial burden to the community (2 Cor 11:7–12; 12:13–18).

* [12:12] Despite weakness and affliction (suggested by the mention of endurance), his ministry has been accompanied by demonstrations of power (cf. 1 Cor 2:3–4). Signs of an apostle: visible proof of belonging to Christ and of mediating Christ’s power, which the opponents require as touchstones of apostleship (2 Cor 12:11; cf. 2 Cor 13:3).

* [12:13–18] Paul insists on his intention to continue refusing support from the community (cf. 2 Cor 11:8–12). In defending his practice and his motivation, he once more protests his love (cf. 2 Cor 11:11) and rejects the suggestion of secret self-enrichment. He has recourse here again to language applied to his opponents earlier: “cunning” (2 Cor 11:3), “deceit” (2 Cor 11:13), “got the better of you” (see note on 2 Cor 11:20), “take advantage” (2 Cor 2:11).

* [12:19–13:10] This concludes the development begun in 2 Cor 10. In the chiastic arrangement of the material (see note on 2 Cor 10:1–13:10), this final part corresponds to the opening; there are important similarities of content between the two sections as well.

* [12:19] This verse looks back at the previous chapters and calls them by their proper name, a defense, an apologia (cf. 1 Cor 9:3). Yet Paul insists on an important distinction: he has indeed been speaking for their benefit, but the ultimate judgment to which he submits is God’s (cf. 1 Cor 4:3–5). This verse also leads into the final section, announcing two of its themes: judgment and building up.

* [12:20] I fear that…: earlier Paul expressed fear that the Corinthians were being victimized, exploited, seduced from right thinking by his opponents (2 Cor 11:3–4, 19–21). Here he alludes unexpectedly to moral disorders among the Corinthians themselves. The catalog suggests the effects of factions that have grown up around rival apostles.

* [12:21] Again: one can also translate, “I fear that when I come my God may again humiliate me.” Paul’s allusion to the humiliation and mourning that may await him recalls the mood he described in 2 Cor 2:1–4, but there is no reference here to any individual such as there is in 2 Cor 2:5–11. The crisis of 2 Cor 2 has happily been resolved by the integration of the offender and repentance (2 Cor 7:416), whereas 2 Cor 12:21 is preoccupied with still unrepentant sinners. The sexual sins recall 1 Cor 57.

a. [12:4Lk 23:43Rev 2:7.

b. [12:7Nm 33:55Jos 23:13Ez 28:24.

c. [12:8Mt 26:3944.

d. [12:94:7.

e. [12:106:45Rom 5:3 / Phil 4:13.

f. [12:1111:5.

g. [12:12Rom 15:191 Thes 1:5.

h. [12:1311:912.

i. [12:1611:313.

j. [12:182:138:1623.

k. [12:201 Cor 1:113:3.


I try to assume into myself what the inspired author is trying to convey to me as I read it. John 20:30-31 tells us that all of this was written so that I could come to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah and that, believing in Him, have life in His name. This life is not a postponed reward later on, but right now, as I read the Scriptures and try to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5).

The thorn in my flesh is that, after a lifetime of trying to love Jesus with all my heart, my mind, and my strength and my neighbor as myself, I know so little, I have encapsulated my life as in a tiny, drop of water, compared to the vast ocean of all that is. Yet, it is trying each day to seek God as I am, where I am, that I am close to the presence of God in me, next to me, ahead of me, behind me.

I listen to the great Bishop Robert Barron on the life of Christ and give thanks to God for the love that brings into my heart, right now. My “right now’s” add up to what heaven will be for me. Take some time to listen to the Sunday Sermon Bishop Barron gave this Sunday. In silence and solitude, I just stand in awe of Christ Jesus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9nWBwPy6es

Praise be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who is to come at the end of the ages. Amen and Amen. –Cistercian doxology


Holy Mother's Center

Hello once more. As I seek God every day as I am and where I am, I came across these resources that you might find of interest. I keep asking myself the increasingly complex question of “How does all of this fit together?” My shocking answer to myself that kept coming back was, “It doesn’t.” As the late Paul Harvey used to say, “And here is the rest of the story.” See below. Who God is and why He would love us so much is, as St. Thomas Aquinas pointed out, beyond our ability to relate that to the human condition. That same God wanted us to share in creation that He sent His Only Son, to experience all the imperfections of human existence (except sin) to tell us not to worry, if you think it doesn’t make sense, be assured it doesn’t conflict with the mindset of the World. It makes total sense as the sign of contradiction, the indelible mark on our souls with Baptism, the sign of the cross. Every day does not depend on the one after it to build on successes. That is one of the effects of Original Sin. Each day is the struggle of a pilgrim in a foreign land, uncomfortable with the religion of politics, the casuistry of secular thinking, the relativism that all choices we make are right just because we have the right to make them. Read what Bishop Barron says about choices. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fisH54IFoEw We are defined not by our abilities but our good works, or, put another way, actions speak louder than words. These good works depend upon letting Christ permeate your being with the energy of the Holy Spirit. They are good because they are the products of any good works that show Christ has transformed you, or, as Matthew wrights in Chapter 5: The Similes of Salt and Light.*13i “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.*14You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.j15 Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, giving light to all in the house.k16 Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. l”    The light of Christ reflects through me, but only if I sit next to the heart of Christ and receive His energy. My light means I hear the word of God to the best of my ability, and keep it.    Michael  

Blessings on you all. Check out my blog site: https://thecenterforcontemplativepractice.org.  

Timothy Luke Johnson, Ph.D. YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MrCSTq7yv0  

Paul Harvey, And God Made a Farmer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWjUT1RjNdQ

Warning: This video may make some uncomfortable. It is about what went on (or didn’t) in Auschwitz in WWII. It shows the heights to which humans can aspire in conditions of barbaric cruelty and the depths to which humans can sink to treat other humans with hatred and disdain. I read it to remind myself that I am capable of both grace and becoming inhuman, except for the grace of God. I find the URL compelling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPTvPccmLUM  

Bishop Robert Barron reflects on morality and conscience, and God and morality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYvbgOTGm7ghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fisH54IFoEw  

This is a wonderful rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus.

Great resources about early Church Fathers. https://web.archive.org/web/20180716100726/http://www.churchfathers.org/  

Praise be to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who will be at the end of the ages. Amen and Amen. –Cistercian doxology


In my most recent Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5), I thought about the barriers that keep me from having in me the mind of Christ Jesus. As I begin to be more self-aware of the spiritual universe around me, new revelations seem to pop up out of nowhere. I don’t remember thinking of any of these barriers before, nor of the consequences of my choices as I approached them in the past. It may be that being more aware of the spiritual universe and how I navigate it as a professed Lay Cistercian, I have grown from self to God and don’t even realize it. Each one of us is different than when we were accepted by Christ at Baptism as an adopted son or daughter. This is just the beginning of a journey that is fraught with the land mines of the World. What complicates things is that we live on this platform of life (the physical universe) and must make sense out of it with your human reason and our ability to choose what is good for us (mental universe). What happens at Baptism is our entry into a third universe, the spiritual universe, or the Kingdom of Heaven. The problem for those who just live in the physical and mental universes is that the spiritual universe does not make sense. It was so important to our maturation as a race that God gave us His Only Son to become one of us, imperfect and prone to self-indulgence. Jesus not only told us what was prophecized in the Old Testament about a Messiah but showed us how to claim our inheritance as adopted sons and daughters of the Father. In this context, I thought about at least four obstacles or brink walls that have stopped me in my growth until I figured out how to go over or around them.

WALL NUMBER ONE: THE WORLD BUILDS THIS WALL AND DARES ME TO JUMP OVER IT. The world seduces each of us because of Original Sin to think of how we can be happy and fulfilled by ourselves. The problem with this seduction is that it assumes that the world (physical and mental universes only) can make us happy and fulfilled. Humans can find a great life with wealth, family, power, peace, the absence of conflict, and the presence of love. Here is the first Wall. The world (physical and mental universes alone) is radically different than a person who lives in the Spirit (physical, mental plus spiritual universes). What makes it different is you are a pilgrim in a foreign land. You live in the world as a platform to sustain your mind and body, but your assumptions, the very words you use in the world alone have a different meaning. Peace be with you, says Christ, and this is not the peace that the world gives. This peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of the Love of Christ in your heart. You live in the world with all its imperfections and ambiguities, but your purpose, the reason you follow Christ and have in you the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5) is love. This is not the love that the world gives. This love comes to us from God through Christ with the power of the Holy Spirit. To climb this wall, you must be aware that the lure of the world, good as it seems, will not allow you to sit next to Christ on a park bench in the middle of winter and be happy. So, am I saying that only those who follow the path given by Christ make it to Heaven? By no means! Christ is the great judge of the living and the dead. I must follow the path because I know it to be the way, the truth, and the life. I hope everyone goes to heaven because of God’s infinite mercy. Heaven is God’s playground and He determines who He wants to let in to enjoy the rides.

WALL NUMBER TWO: I BUILD A WALL TO KEEP GOD OUT. This wall is a sneaky one because, when you look at it, you think you are on the outside looking in, but in reality, you are on the inside looking out. At the root of all sin (missing the mark or your true purpose in life) is idolatry. What is the very first commandment that God gave his people through Moses? “I am the Lord Thy God, thou shalt have no other Gods before me.” https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/command.htm I must have read these commandments hundreds of times in my lifetime. Abraham, Moses was instrumental in translating what they heard from God to the people. At the time of Abraham (c. 1850 B.C.), he wanted to relate to God by offering up his son on the altar. Where would he have gotten these ideas? Abraham and even Moses seemed to think of God as being like the other gods around them, the Baals. Abraham wanted to show God his obedience so he wanted to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Other tribes around them were sacrificing their children to a diety for a variety of reasons. God says to Abraham in his mind, and also to Moses with the Ten Commandments, “I don’t want you to sacrifice your children anymore. Use animals.” When I look at the First Commandment, it says, “no other gods before me.” Early Hebrews seem to believe that all gods were real and God was telling them that I am numero uno. What do you think? When I build my wall from the inside, I do so to keep out the truth from God. If I am walled up, then I can be god and who is to tell me I am wrong. I do the Lay Cistercian practices, I read Scripture daily, so that should do it? Do you see the seduction of this wall? Only Christ has the power to knock down walls. I am the only one who can build them from the inside. The wall I build is the same one Adam and Eve, the architype protogenitors built when they ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Ironically, it is God who tells us what to eat that is good or evil. Eating of this tree is idolatry, pride, envy, jealousy, and placing yourself at the very center of existence. Here is a seeming paradox: physically and mentally, you are the center of the universe quite literally. You only live for seventy or eighty years, if you are strong, says the Psalmist. Within that time, you must discover purpose, meaning, and ask and answer six questions.

  1. What is the purpose of life?
  2. What is your purpose within that purpose of life?
  3. What does reality look like?
  4. How does it all fit together?
  5. How do you love fiercely?
  6. You know you are going to die, now what?

Not everyone will even ask these questions, much less answer them. You can get your answers from one of two places: the world (Physical and Mental Universes) or God (Physical, Mental and Spiritual Universes). One of these will fulfill your destiny as a human. One leads to death, the other to life eternal. https://amzn.to/3oR1L21

3. WALL THREE:MY PERSONAL EGO WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO SEE A DEEPER DIMENSION TO REALITY THAN THE PHYSICAL OR MENTAL ONE. It is not as though we don’t have the answers to these questions that don’t make sense, it is that leap of Faith into the unknown, in this case belief in that which I don’t fully understand into a spiritual universe that is the opposite in some cases of what I know to be true. I can’t make that jump without God giving me the energy (Faith) to do so. In fact, God thought is so important that He sent His Son, to take on human nature so that he could make the jump first and then show us that we should not be afraid, that something wonderful awaited those who, unlike Adam, did His will.

4. WALL FOUR: MY HUMAN NATURE RESISTS GOING TO A PLACE WHERE NO ONE DARES TO LOOK. I put up many false faces throughout my life to show others how strong or beautiful or powerful that I am. The one place I fear to look is within me, yet that is the only place to contain those signs of contradiction that lead me to becoming fully human, fully an adopted son or daughter of the Father. By the grace of God, I discovered Lay Cistercian spirituality which in turn is based on the long tradition of Cistercian monks and nuns (c. 1090 AD) who themselves are founded on the Rule of St. Benedict (c.540 AD). This approach is a way of life which demands a period where I must practice and practice how to love others as Christ loved us. I do so, not as a monk, but as part of the gathering that following Cistercian principles and charisms in the world that is my scope of existence. I seek to transform myself from my false self to my true self with humility and obedience to God’s will. I try to use Cistercian practices of Lectio Divina and Liturgy of the Hours, to name a few, that help me focus on moving from self to God. Humans have an immune system to help fight off disease and illness. In the spiritual universe, I have an immune system to make sense out of the contradictions that my nature flings up in response to my mind and heart wanting to be like the sign of contradiction, Jesus. From the moment of my Baptism and commitment that Jesus is Lord, my physical and mental universes struggle with my spiritual universe to make sense out of what is beyond reason, beyond any human experience, that of unconditional love of God for all humans. This is not human love, which is the only thing I know about. It is the love of a person, Jesus, both God and Human, who bids me to take that step of Faith each day, and live outside of my humanity. It is only by dying to self that we can rise to what love is for those who seek to just sit in the presence of Christ and feel the joy of being resonant with all that is. My Cistercian practices help me to focus on having in me the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5) with the five S’s: silence, solitude, sustainability, stillness, and seeking God each in whatever situation I find myself, as I am.

It seems like I spend a lot of time tearing down walls that come from my ego, my human nature, my acceptance of Jesus as Lord and Savior. No wonder I feel exhausted as a Lay Cistercian, but it a feeling of fulfillment at doing what I must do to be in the presence of Christ.



Lent is a season of preparation and reflection. We are asked, as Church Universal, to prepare our minds and hearts for the Christ Principle. Before each momentous event in the life of Christ, we must prepare and reflect on how we have become what we seek each day, to love God with our whole minds, our whole souls, and our whole strength, and our neighbor as ourselves. (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36) There are two events that tower over the others in our Church calendar of the life of Christ, that of the nativity and the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ as Messiah. They are not like secular Christmas and a humanist Easter, they are occasions for transformation from the false self to our true self as adopted sons and daughters of the Father.


The Church is the collective consciousness of all things Christ from the time of the Apostles, both those things that are authentic and even some which did not hit the mark (heresy). As our mother, the Church bids us follow what Christ did, namely, birth and passion, death and resurrection, as a mirror to our personal lives, no matter what the circumstance we find ourselves. The Church is also a gathering of individuals with Faith to help them focus on Christ’s admonition to die to self in order to rise to new life. In practice, individuals must be penitential every single day. Lent is a time in the Calendar year when individuals put on sackcloth and ashes and remind themselves that they are dust and into dust, they shall return. We do penance for our past failings and ask the grace of God to be with us as we move forward in whatever might come our way. The psychology of Lent stresses a reassessment of who I am in relationship to God. St. Benedict urged his monks to be both humble and obedient as a habit, something not at all consistent with the human experiences we have. This takes practice, in my case, contemplative practices as followed by Lay Cistercians. http://www.trappist.net

For me, this takes the form of purposefully placing myself in the presence of Christ through the observance of Cistercian practices and charisms so that I might die to those parts of me that still tingle with the thought that I am god and can exist without any accountability except to myself.


Lent, the everything that comes after the Pentecost event, is about having in you the mind of Christ Jesus. It is trying to behave according to what we read and contemplate about the Life of Christ. This comes through good works, as in Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict, but it also is true of trying to become what we read. That is why, in this Lent, my penance is to read the whole Life of Christ by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I consider this book to be one of the five most influential written texts that have brought me closer to Christ.

Here is the pdf of the book for you to use during Lent if you so choose. I am reading one chapter every two or three days with my prayer that I become what I read.


Penance is trying to become more like Christ and less like your worldly self. Here are some of the benefits of doing penance in terms of my lifetime commitment to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5) as practiced by Cistercian charisms. Lent is a time for doing something, for the mind as well as for behavior.

  1. Focus– Lent is a time for me to purposefully practice sitting next to Christ on a park bench in the midst of winter and just listening with “the ear of the heart” (St. Benedict in the Prologue).
  2. Sharing — Lent is a time for me to share the liturgy of the hours and Eucharist with others who are also focused on “preferring nothing to the love of Christ” (Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict).
  3. Recommitment – Lent is a time for me to seek forgiveness of my sins and repair any breaches I have with either God or my neighbor. I must be aware that I must be merciful to others, if I expect God to be merciful to me.
  4. Knowledge — Lent is a time for me to intensify my spiritual read and reverence of Scriptures in terms of the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ. Reading Archbishop Sheen’s book on The Life of Christ (above) is a way for me to move from my mind to my heart and increase my capacity for Christ.
  5.  Renewal — Lent is a time to recommit me to the promises I made as a Lay Cistercian to prefer nothing to the love of Christ (Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict) I take some special time to reflect on this written pledge which I verbally made to the Abbot and Trappist Community of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit Monastery to love, serve, have stability and practice Cistercian practices and charisms with God’s help for the rest of my life. Here is my pledge on May 6, 2018.

I, Michael Francis Conrad, a member of the Lay Cistercians of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit, a community of Catholics being in the world, promise to strive for a daily conversion of life as my response to the Love of God. I commit myself to live in a spirit of contemplative prayer and sacrifice in obedience to God’s universal call to holiness, using daily Cistercian practices and charisms of simplicity, humility, obedience to God’s will, hospitality, and moving from self to God. I give thanks to my wife, Young, and my daughter, Martha, for standing by me on my journey. I ask for prayers from the monastic community and Lay Cistercians. I place myself in the hands of those already standing before the throne of the Lamb, including Holy Mary, Mother of God, St. Benedict, St. Bernard, the Seven Cistercian Martyrs of Our Lady of Atlas, Father Anthony Delise, and other deceased monks and Lay Cistercians and also Deacon Dr. Marcus Hepburn. Finally, I accept the Rule of St. Benedict as my guide for living the Gospel within the time I have remaining.

6. Discipline — Lent is a time of discipline for the mind and the heart. Discipline comes from the Latin word, disciplina or learning. Do I do what I tell Christ I am going to do to be present to Him through Cistercian practices and charisms?  Am I dissuaded from my practices because I am lazy or from a lack of faith? Do I make choices that are easy (the World) rather than those that are correct, consistent with my lifetime pledge above?

7. Stamina — Am I like the Apostles who, in the Garden of Gethsemane, slept while Christ endured his temptation to abandon his mission? I am a pilgrim in a foreign land since my acceptance by God as an adopted son (or daughter). Can I endure the constant temptations of Satan to abandon my Faith and seek my own comfort? Christ tells us, Fast and Pray that you enter not into temptation. It is a struggle to believe and not easy. It is that martyrdom of everyday struggle that we must endure with the help of Christ through the Holy Spirit. The Devil wants us to give up our Faith because it does not make sense. Like a pilgrim in a foreign land, I must acknowledge that the foolishness of God is wiser than all the promises of the world.

8. Joy — There is joy in penance. Not the joy that comes from what the world says makes us happy, but the quiet realization that I am doing what Christ wants me to do to deny myself daily and take up my cross and follow him. This is the sign of contradiction once again, one that the world will not understand. It is folly for the Gentiles and a stumbling block for the Jews says Scripture.

Here is a blockbuster idea. Lent should be every day of the year, not just limited to the season. During the season of Lent, we join with the Church Universal to proclaim the death of the Lord until He comes in glory.

Happy Lent! Happy Fault, as we chant in the ancient Easter hymn.

Praise be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who is to come at the end of the ages.  Amen and Amen. –The Cistercian doxology


If you hear his voice, says the Psalms, harden not your hearts.   Lent is upon us once again. It pops up yearly as we trudge down that path of choices we call life. As described in this clip of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, we are defined by our choices. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwah1-07o0M

  • Lent is a time to reflect, take stock of our personal center (my center is Philippians 2:5), and make all things new in, with, and through Christ Jesus. 
  • Lent is a penance time, in reparation for the hurt our sins and negligences have cause to God and others. The choices that we have made for the flesh instead of the spirit must be transformed by allowing Christ to increase and me to decrease. (Capacitas dei)
  • Lent is the season for a recommitment to Christ as our center, of death to my false self, embracing the sign of contradiction, the cross,  that makes no sense whatsoever to the world but enlightens my world and, through me, those around me. 
  • Lent is a time to recharge my batteries. If I am a battery with my capacity for God used up, my recharger is Christ through the Holy Spirit, to the glory of the Father. What happens if I don’t recharge my battery? My daily choices to have Christ Jesus’s mind become more susceptible to the temptation that all this penance is just a rouse for some la-la land.
  • Lent is a time to fill up in me that my own abilities or capabilities cannot fulfill. I recommend the following Lenten penitential exercise to move from your false self to your true self. Remember, it is not you doing the moving but Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit.

  LENTEN PENANCE   The Holy Spirit is always at work, inserting opportunities for each of us to make choices that energize our weak human nature. If we respond to what the Holy Spirit presents to us, we move forward.  One such opportunity for me was George and Sandra Maule, both Lay Cistercians, who called me to see how I was doing. This was to be more than just a wonderful chat about all things Lay Cistercian, which it was. They recommended that I read the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen’s book, The Life of Christ. I had not read it, but they said it is a must-read. See how the Holy Spirit works? https://amzn.to/3aqhvDN    Now comes the terrifying part of what the Holy Spirit does. I am offering you the opportunity to read Archbishop Sheen’s book for Lent, a chapter every day (they are short but packed chapters), and reflecting on them. Does it take time? Sure. It also takes time to recharge your Tesla Electric automobile. It is time you take with Jesus that shows you how much you love Him. One other thing, I ask you to share this post with others that you love.   

If I recommended that you read only one book, not including the Sacred Scriptures, it would be this transformative one about the Life of Christ as seen through the Faith experiences of Archbishop Sheen.   Here is the free pdf for your download. https://sacredheartshrine.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Life-of-Christ-Fulton-J.-Sheen.pdf

If you feel extra ambitious, you might try reading Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict every day in Lent (and beyond) with the prayer that you become what you read. https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/

Praise be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and forever. The God who is, who was, and who is to come at the end of the ages. Amen and Amen. –Cistercian doxology


My latest Lectio Divina (Philippians 2:5) had several tangential directions from the Holy Spirit. I can’t keep up with the profusion of energy that overshadows me. Let me give you a tiny example. My meditations were about God emptying himself (kenosis) of being God and how that was impossible (to my mind, not God’s).

If Jesus was like us in all things, except sin, then this “emptying” makes sense that his Divinity wanted to stay out of the way of his humanity. Jesus would have wanted a perfect human gift to the Father. The ever-present Holy Spirit could have made all that the human Jesus did just a sham. After all, what good is being born, teaching us how to be adopted sons and daughters of the Father, if God does not allow Christ to experience what it means to be human and suffer, die and rise from the dead as both divinity and humanity.

  • God fully adopted imperfect humanity, which meant he was subject to human nature’s inconsistencies with all its temptations, the missteps of choosing the wrong pathway.
  • God did not get in the way of Christ to experience the natural law. We have in common with animals, to feel pain, to be humiliated with the death of a common criminal, a fate that is the worst type of suffering, that of one unjustly accused of a crime.
  • God did not get in the way of Christ dying on a cross as the ultimate example of love for us, offering up his life as the gift or reparation to the Father for the sin of Adam and Eve. Jesus felt the pain, the humiliation, the frustration of doing God’s will with no support from humans. Jesus transformed all of those situations to teach us how to love others as Christ has loved us.
  • God rising from the dead and ascending back to the Father as now both God and Human to intercede for us at the right hand of the Father, and to send the Holy Spirit as Advocate for the Church Universal in each age if God’s divinity does not make a human choice a free gift, or like us in all things but sin. (2 Corinthians 4:4; Heb 4:15))

If Jesus was like us in all things, then, like us, he had to learn according to his humanity. He had to learn about those things that his divine nature knew, but his human nature had just to experience; you have to experience what it feels like to be a human (Galatians 5). This is part of the Art of Contemplative Practice in that we, too, must learn from the choices we make to be able to look at our history of behavior and learn what is authentic and what leads to the destruction of the human experience.

Let’s take a look at the I.Q. of Jesus in terms of this context of divinity, allowing his humanity to experience Faith, Hope, and Love and how it all fits together in terms of the purpose for Christ’s becoming human. (Philippians 2:5-12) Of course, there were no I.Q. Tests back then, so I don’t know what Jesus’ I.Q. would be. I know that self-awareness of who you are with who wants to become percolates throughout the Gospels and Epistles of Paul. In particular, let’s look at the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, one of the mysteries of the Rosary. I keep asking myself, why this particular story at this unique time in the time of Christ, before his public ministry? What is God trying to tell us through the author? Read this selection three times; once for the words, once for the meaning, third time for what this Scripture tells you about Jesus and his self-awareness of what it means to be human? https://catholicexchange.com/meditations-on-christ-in-the-temple  Luke 2.

The Return to Nazareth.

39When they had fulfilled all the prescriptions of the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. n
40The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.o

The Boy Jesus in the Temple.*

41Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover,p
42and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom.
43After they had completed their days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it.
44Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances,
45but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.
46After three days, they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions,
47and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers.
48When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”
49And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”*
50But they did not understand what he said to them.
51He went down with them, came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them, and his mother kept all these things in her heart.q
52And Jesus advanced [in] wisdom and age and favor before God and man.r

This passage from Luke suggests how the humanity of Jesus was self-aware of his mission early on in his life. The learning curve that Jesus needed to begin his ministry at the age of 33 seems presented to the readers of Luke’s Gospel as a young boy sitting in the Temple and teaching the elders there and listening to them. In this chapter of Luke, there is the birth of Jesus, the Circumcision of Jesus, the Presentation in the Temple, and the boy’s Finding in the Temple. Why are these stories of Jesus there in Luke? A young boy sitting in the Temple and listening to the elders and teaching them doesn’t make sense of what the world thinks. The humanity of Jesus did not inform or direct the divinity of Christ. Still, this divinity emptied itself to allow His humanity to learn about the mission and purpose and transform each learning experience from self to God. Progressive learning is important here. Jesus went back with Mary and Joseph and was subject to them (divinity subject to humanity, consistent with who Jesus was). For Jesus, there was not just a one time death on the cross, but a constant tug of war between his learning incrementally and knowing the totality of all that is.

The realization of what that “kenosis” meant to Jesus is even more of a reason to try to have in us the mind of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5). As a Lay Cistercian, the take away is that each day I seek God in whatever comes my way, has a layer of complexity that I must “empty” myself of the flesh (I don’t mean sexuality but rather the effects of original sin). St. Benedict urges his monks and nuns to prefer nothing to the love of Christ in Chapter 4 of his Rule.



Scripture is the bedrock of what we know about the mission of Christ. It is also written, says St. John in 20:30-31, to show us the way, the truth, and the life. Conclusion.”*30Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of [his] disciples that are not written in this book.s31But these are written that you may [come to] believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.thttps://bible.usccb.org/bible/john/20

If you access this site and look at the footnotes, the one for John 20:30-31 states that the word “come to” has a missionary connotation, but early texts have that as “continue to” believe. The first set of words, “come to believe,” suggests to me that all of us read the Scriptures so that we move deeper in our Faith from what we don’t know to what we do know through the power of the Holy Word we read. The second set of words assumes that we believe and that Scripture helps us maintain our Faith. I think both have their unique take on Scripture and how Scriptures are transformative to help us move from our false self to our true self.

Here are some new ideas that have come to me through my Lectio Divina practice of contemplation. I use the phrase “from the edge of time” as a crude way to express that these are not my ideas. I am not that intelligent to explore how all reality fits together and begins to make sense (only begins).

  1. HEAVEN EXISTS IN TWO PLACES. One of the reasons for Baptism is to begin the process of packing for the trip to Heaven. We have heaven on earth for those who are Baptized and are faithful to the teachings of Jesus to love one another as He loved us. We typically think of Heaven as the terminal or final point of how we discover and practice love while on earth. The Kingdom of Heaven is NOW, as an individual for my seventy or eight years, and as a collective Church Universal, Forever.
  2. OUR HEAVEN IS THE SPIRITUAL UNIVERSE — This idea is new for me because I realized that I can’t pack anything for Heaven that comes from the mental universe. The mental universe can fulfill my human nature with love, family, those wonderful attributes of peace, happiness, and meaning. The problem is, I can’t take those with me to Heaven. This is what some call the secular universe or humanism, fulfillment without God.
  3. IT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR GOD TO BECOME MAN (Philippians 2:5-12) THAT HE EVEN HAD TO DIE ON A CROSS TO OPEN THE GATES OF HEAVEN TO ALL HUMANS –– This new idea is a wake-up call to me to begin to focus on the mission of Christ, to bring all people to Himself so that we can present an acceptable sacrifice (the fulfillment of the Abrahamic gift of his son to God) to the Father and thus becomes what the Garden of Eden intended for Adam and Eve, to be happy with God forever. Read what St. John has for us. Read it three times, once for the words, once for meaning, and once to apply it to the compendium of all those things that make up the way you look at reality.

13 No one has gone up to heaven except for the one who has come down from heaven, the Son of Man.i 14 And just as Moses lifted up* the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up,j 15* so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.” 16 For God so loved the world that he gave* his only Son so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.k 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn* the world, but that the world might be saved through him.l 18 Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.m1 9* And this is the verdict,n that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed.o 21 But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.phttps://bible.usccb.org/bible/john/3

In this passage, some will believe in the words of Christ, some will not. For those who do, Christ became human to that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. What a profound statement. Reading the Scripture will not do anything for you unless you believe what you read. Remember John 20:30-31?

4. WE TAKE OUR HEAVEN WITH US– This is a rather bold statement because I can’t possibly imagine what God has in store for those who love him. Having accepted that as true, I am also busy preparing to take with me those things that I can use in Heaven, those items Christ has said were necessary to create the kingdom of heaven on earth. Matthew 25 speaks of the Parable of the Talents. Read this passage three times, once for the words, once for meaning, and once asking the Holy Spirit to share with you what it means to take your Heaven with you.

The Parable of the Talents.*14c “It will be as when a man who was going on a journey* called in his servants and entrusted his possessions to them.15 To one he gave five talents;* to another, two; to a third, one—to each according to his ability. Then he went away. Immediately 16, the one who received five talents went and traded with them and made another five. 17 Likewise, the one who received two made another two. 18* But the man who received one went off and dug a hole in the ground and buried his master’s money.19 After a long time, the master of those servants came back and settled accounts with them. 20 The one who had received five talents came forward, bringing the additional five.* He said, ‘Master, you gave me five talents. See, I have made five more.’ 21d His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.’ 22 [Then] the one who had received two talents also came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two talents. See, I have made two more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.’ 24 Then the one who had received the one talent came forward and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a demanding person, harvesting where you did not plant and gathering where you did not scatter;25so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground. Here it is back.’ 26 His master said to him in reply, ‘You wicked, lazy servant!* So you knew that I harvest where I did not plant and gather where I did not scatter? 27 Should you not then have put my money in the bank so that I could have got it back with interest on my return? 28 Now then! Take the talent from him and give it to the one with ten. 29*e For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will grow rich; but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30* And throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’

If you are one of these servants, are you the one who does not see the Kingdom of Heaven as now and practices Heaven NOW with the help of the Holy Spirit? What does this parable tell you about what God wants us to do NOW as Baptized members of the living Church Universal? What does it profit you if you go your whole life and fail to seek God each day and store up treasures that do not rust or moths consume? Are you going to stand before God and tell Him that no one told you about living the kingdom of heaven within you each day and that you didn’t know about it? Even if you get to Heaven, hypothetically, what will it be like, you who have squandered your talents while on earth? You have a chance now to begin packing for the trip forever. The Church Universal exits at each age to help you pack and tell you what will pass customs and what will be rejected.

6. WHAT CAN YOU PACK IN YOUR BAG NOW TO TAKE WITH YOU TO HEAVEN? Only the rich get to Heaven. The trick is that these riches must be what God considers riches, not what you think. Heaven is God’s playground, and you must use His rules to pack your bag. Christ became one of us to show us what to pack in our bag and open the gates of Heaven. St. Benedict suggests what to pack in our bag in his Rule. In particular, I like the notion of Chapter 4 and the tools of good works. https://christdesert.org/prayer/rule-of-st-benedict/chapter-4-the-tools-for-good-works/

7. YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU TO HEAVEN: YOUR ABILITY TO LINK REALITY WITH THE GOLDEN THREAD OF CHRIST – A novel thought that came from my Lectio Divina meditations some years ago was that of a golden thread that links all reality together. The thread is Christ and is a gift given to all who are Baptized with the adoption of being sons and daughters of the Father. With this thread, I can sew together any good work, all experiences that I have had linked to the will of God, all my attempts to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus, all those sunrises and sunsets that remind me of how much Christ loves me, all the people whom I recognize to have their own golden threads. I am unable to sew through anything that is sinful or would cause me to hate others. The importance of this Golden Thread of Christ is that whatever I link together with the thread is my heaven in the next lifetime. This is what I can take with me to

8. EXTRA ECCLESIAM, NULLA SALUS. What might seem to be exclusive at first glance is actually a very ancient concept. Paul suggests in Ephesians 4 that there are seven unities.

1* I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,a2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love,b3 striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace:c4* one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call;d5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism;e6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.f

“All nations form but one community. This is so because all stem from the one stock which God created to people the entire earth, and also because all share a common destiny, namely God. His providenceevident goodness, and saving designs extend to all against the day when the elect are gathered together in the holy city. . .331

843 The Catholic Church recognizes in other religions that search, among shadows and images, for the God who is unknown yet near since he gives life and breath and all things and wants all men to be saved. Thus, the Church considers all goodness and truth found in these religions as “a preparation for the Gospel and given by him who enlightens all men that they may at length have life.”332

844 In their religious behavior, however, men also display the limits and errors that disfigure the image of God in them:

Very often, deceived by the Evil One, men have become vain in their reasonings and have exchanged God’s truth for a lie and served the creature rather than the Creator. Or else, living and dying in this world without God, they are exposed to ultimate despair.333

845 To reunite all his children, scattered and led astray by sin, the Father willed to call the whole of humanity together into his Son’s Church. The Church is the place where humanity must rediscover its unity and salvation. the Church is “the world reconciled.” She is that bark which “in the full sail of the Lord’s cross, by the breath of the Holy Spirit, navigates safely in this world.” According to another image dear to the Church Fathers, she is prefigured by Noah’s ark, which alone saves her from the flood.334

“Outside the Church, there is no salvation.”

846 How are we to understand this affirmation, often repeated by the Church Fathers?335 Re-formulated positively, it means that all salvation comes from Christ the Head through the Church, which is his Body:

Basing itself on Scripture and Tradition, the Council teaches that the Church, a pilgrim now on earth, is necessary for salvation: the one Christ is the mediator and the way of salvation; he is present to us in his body, which is the Church. He explicitly asserted the necessity of faith and Baptism, thereby affirming the Church’s necessity that men enter through Baptism as through a door. Hence they could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse to enter it or remain in it.336

847 This affirmation is not aimed at those who, through no fault of their own, do not know Christ and his Church:

Those who, through no fault of their own, do not know the Gospel of Christ or his Church, but who nevertheless seek God with a sincere heart, and, moved by gracetry in their actions to do his will as they know it through the dictates of their conscience – those too may achieve eternal salvation.337

848 “Although in ways known to himself God can lead those who, through no fault of their own, are ignorant of the Gospel, to that faith without which it is impossible to please him, the Church still has the obligation and also the sacred right to evangelize all men.”338


9. IF THREE PERSONS WENT TO HEAVEN AND WERE ADMITTED BY GOD, THEIR HEAVEN WOULD BE DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. If God is One, and we all exist in Heaven in an eternal NOW, how can there be different Heaven levels? Here I must admit to speculating and some hypothesizing about Heaven. It seems that if there are uniqueness and individuality in each human’s capacities and capabilities, that must also be true in Heaven. Mentally, it is obvious to me that not all of us have the ability to reason and make choices that resonate with what is real. We do all have the ability to reason and make choices, however. It is the choices that define who we are as humans. When some accept our adoption as sons and daughters of the Father, and again, others don’t, there is a difference in our ability to be aware of what surrounds us. While on earth, we call that the perspective of the spirit (Galatians 5) and God’s energy allows us to see a reality that does not make sense, the Kingdom of Heaven. So, what happens when those two persons go to Heaven, and God judges them worthy? Heaven is God’s playground, and He allows who he wants to go there, but there is a difference, and it is not God but each individual. Those who have expanded their capacity to move from their false self to their true self (capacitas dei) have done so with God’s own energy while they are still alive. According to their awareness, those who have no appreciation or capacity to love others as Christ loved us (it is the as Christ loved us that is critical) will see Heaven and enjoy the Beatific Vision. There are not two different Heavens, but rather two different capabilities to relate to the truth. Those who do not know, love, or serve God will only enjoy Heaven as they can. They may not even know what they don’t know.

I wrote a parable about it that may help me explain my thoughts.

The Parable of the Banquet –

Once, there was a very wealthy man who wanted to share his wealth with those around him, those who had been so good to him from an early age. He came upon the idea of throwing an extensive banquet with the most sumptuous and delicious foods that could be made. He would spare no expense to find ten dishes that were the best food in all the world. Although he had many close friends, he decided to throw the banquet open to everyone who wanted to come. All they had to do was show up for the feast and eat what they wanted until they were filled. Fine wines were selected by the chief sommelier and dishes prepared by Iron Chefs themselves. He, himself, would stand at the door of the large banquet hall and welcome guests that came in. He advertised in all the local newspapers and on television about his gift.

The day of the banquet finally arrived. One hundred and forty-four persons showed up at his estate and entered the lavishly decorated hall. The ten tables were very long and contained more than enough room to seat everyone comfortably. The host seated himself at the head of the table and spoke of how much he wanted to be with everyone present because they took time to attend and that they should share that meal with those around them as he had shared his generosity with them. There was a puzzled look on the faces of most of the guests. They had no idea what dishes were being served or even if it would taste good.

Ten courses were each brought in and set before all the guests. But then a strange thing happened, one that the host had foreseen but allowed to happen anyway. Each person was free to eat of their fill without commenting or being thrown out for bad manners. Some refused to eat seven of the ten courses, saying they did not look good, even though they had not tasted them. Others did not eat the meal at all, stating that the food should have been shared with the poor and distributed to the needy and that the rich man was just trying to satisfy a superiority complex. Still, others said they did not believe in the way the host had achieved his fortune and would not eat anything on principle because he was not of their religious persuasion and did not attend their church. They ate to their satisfaction of those who did eat and had loads of food to take back home with them for their families. When it was all over, the host told those in attendance that what they had eaten would be their reward for the rest of their lives. This food would always replenish itself forever. For those who had humility and obedience to the host’s will, their reward was the fullness of all the ten gifts of enlightenment and truth. For those who refused to eat seven of the ten gifts, their reward was only a portion of the fullness of what the host had to offer them. For those who did not eat anything, that was their reward. They could only eat what they ate at that banquet for the rest of eternity. Everyone got want they wanted from the banquet, but not all were satisfied.

Those who approached the Christ Principle with humility and obedience to do his will gained not only nourishment but eternal life, enjoying the gifts they received while on earth.

10. HEAVEN MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH OUR HUMAN NATURE AND OUR SENSES. It makes sense to me that Jesus had to become human to experience the effects of Original Sin, even to dying on a cross, the sign of contradiction, so that we could spend eternity with what we learned about love while on earth. What doesn’t make sense is spending that time in Heaven (after we die) is some form of suspended animation like Hans Solo did when he was encased in carbonite. https://www.starwars.com/video/carbon-freeze I can’t believe that we spent all that time while we were living to learn to love and move from our false self to our true self, not to be able to do what we attempted while on earth. Christ ascended to the Father in both his humanity and divinity, so there must be a place to share our Master’s joy in heaven consistent with our human nature. Here is where I trust God (Faith) to prepare a place for me consistent with what I have experienced about his purpose while I live (Hope) so that I can love God with all my mind, all my heart, all my strength, and my neighbor as myself. How God does that is a mystery to me, and I am okay with that.


In my theologizing about heaven, the ideas I write are mostly so that I can take a step or two back and then look at ways there might be something I missed. One of the huge mistakes individuals who do Lectio Divina make is to think that they are the Church Universal’s authority just because the Holy Spirit gave you some insights. I have the opportunity to have my own interpretation of, for example, Philippians 2:5, but it is only my insight, and I have authority only over my choices, not anyone else’s. The heresy of the individual is the misguided belief that I have authority over the whole Church, not just my personal interpretation. I only have authority over the choices I make. If others like what I say, it helps them grow from self to God. The heresy of the individual can mean that I am the Church, not only individual but Church Universal. I am seduced by the Evil One to believe my own press about my importance and authority. I make these comments because I may be guilty of not be in sync with what the Church Universal thinks. If I find this out, the Church Universal, Scripture and Tradition, the Church’s heritage down through the ages is the default, not me. I look at whatever I write in terms of six filters if I think I am out of resonance with the Church.

  • Does what I say agree with Sacred Scriptures?
  • Is what I say Scripturally anchored or at least based on its intent?
  • Does what I say try to prove someone else is wrong or is it based on the results of my trying to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus? (Philippians 2:5)
  • Do I make rather “out there” hypotheses with a sense of humility and obedience to Christ’s commands?
  • Does what I say contradict anything from any of the Ecumenical Councils?
  • Does anything I say contradict the authority and teachings of the Magisterium of the Church?


Normally, I do Lectio Divina at about 2:30 a.m. as part of my old man bathroom ritual. It helps get me back to sleep. There was nothing normal about the Lectio Divina today. I was frightened and what frightened me might not be what you think. Normally (I know, I have not been normal for the past twenty years), my nightmares take the form of falling off a cliff, being in an unfamiliar house with no exits, or some variation on the vampires’ movies. Today was different.

I have come to the point in my Lectio of just letting the Holy Spirit do all the work. I don’t have any particular request or desire to think about some topic related to Philippians 2:5, my Lectio phrase. Some might think that is just laziness, while I prefer to think of it as growing in the capacity for God in how I move from my false self to my true self. I asked the Holy Spirit, “What do you want to talk about today?” and what came back was scary. Let me explain.

For the past three months, I have been toying with writing a book on what is the kingdom of heaven like. That grew into three distinct Lectio topics, or, as I like to think, discussions with the Holy Spirit about how all of this fits together. What is the kingdom of heaven like? What is Hell like? What is Purgatory like? These Lectio sessions are bits and pieces and I try to rush to the computer to write them down. Being a broken-down, old Lay Cistercian, I don’t always get to the computer in time or forget my train of thought. Here is what I received about Purgatory.

Everyone is destined for Heaven, everyone. But there is a caveat, you must choose to go there. In Baptism, Christ chooses us as adopted sons and daughters and then we must ratify that gift of Faith by our assent. Being in the condition of Original Sin, we must ratify our consent almost every day. That is part of prayer and why we don’t take God for granted. Recognizing who God is (we can only recognize to the extent that we have the capacity to be aware of how all of this fits together) is the first step of Humility in St. Benedict’s Rule, Chapter 7. This step is fear of the Lord. This is the Lord that is our DNA, into which all reality moves and evolves. This is the Lord that is so far beyond the comprehension of our human nature that we don’t have the capacity nor the capability to be in the presence of such pure energy. This pure energy has three distinct components, so beyond our vocabulary, our language, our ability to measure its presence, that they are persons, or beings, yet one in nature, divine. The three components are pure knowledge, pure love, and pure service. Imagine God coming down to any of us, even the sophisticated thinkers who presume they have defined reality through science or psychology, and being present to us as He really is. We don’t have the capability to even be in that presence without our neurons frying to a crisp. Christ had to take the time and trouble become human so He could tell us and more importantly to show us how to pack our bags and prepare for the purpose of all reality. I am not talking about some pathetic politician who seems to have control over what they consider power and glory. All of what is in there so that I can make a choice with my human reason to accept the invitation of God to be an adopted son or daughter of the Father. What follows is what I can remember about the three answers the Holy Spirit gave me and the reason for my being scared.


  • Heaven is where God lives, a condition, a relationship without time, matter, physical energy, and space.
  • Heaven exists only in the now, not the past nor the future. God is the one who is.
  • Heaven begins when I am Baptized and made an adopted son (or daughter) of the Father.
  • Heaven must be consistent with my human experiences to allow me to live within God’s parameters for all humans to be Forever.
  • The purpose of life is to pack for the journey to Heaven. Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36.
  • What you pack for the journey is what is meaningful to God.
  • What is meaningful to God is made known to us through, with, and in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5.
  • Only the rich get to Heaven, but you must use God’s riches, not yours, to pack for the trip.
  • Your Heaven will be what you pack for the journey. Christ gives us Scriptures to tell us what to pack. Christ left the Church to help us focus on having in us the mind of Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5.
  • Christ told us that his Father’s Kingdom has many dwelling places for us.

Last Supper Discourses.1* “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith* in God; have faith also in me. 2 In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3* And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.a4 Where [I] am going you know the way.”*5 Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?”6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth* and life. No one comes to the Father except through me.b7 If you know me, then you will also know my Father.* From now on you do know him and have seen him.”c

The dwelling places must be consistent with our human nature and how we live out what we have linked in our lifetime to what Jesus taught us. I like to think that death means I move to one of these dwelling place in a containment field that will allow me to enjoy what I have discovered about love in my life.

The Father offers us a dwelling place that has all my needs taken care of and I can add that personal touch to this place thus making it not just a house but a home. Each person can bring with them what they have discovered about the Kingdom of Heaven while they are on earth. Matthew 13.


Purgatory is a place of second chances. Purgatory are those that lack the perfection or the love to make it to Heaven.

Purgatory is a place of no torment but one where people can live out their lives to make choice to love God with all their hearts, all their minds, and all their strength and their neighbor as themselves.

Purgatory must be a place consistent with human experiences and nature. When we die, our bodies corrupt but our minds and the essence of who we are continues to live. When we measure ourselves against God and come up imperfect, we are given a second chance to love others as Christ loved us, but in the context of those things in our life which we have that are what God had intended to do.

Purgatory exists in the Kingdom of Heaven, that is, there is no time, no space. In an eternal NOW, we get one more chance to love authentically as Christ loved us. When God judges us ready, we are admitted into the full bliss of the eternal communion that all humans who are in the Church Triumphant enjoy.


Purgatory is like an appendix on the intestines of life. It is there, but we don’t know what to do with it. The Church collects our heritage. We can measure orthodoxy by comparing our beliefs as an individual with the accumulated history and teaching of the Church Universal from the Apostles’ time. Below is the full excerpt from the Catholic Church’s Catechism, as the source I go to when I need to see if I am too far out there. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p123a12.htm






1020 The Christian who unites his own death to that of Jesus views it as a step towards him and an entrance into everlasting life. When the Church for the last time speaks Christ’s words of pardon and absolution over the dying Christian, seals him for the last time with a strengthening anointing, and gives him Christ in viaticum as nourishment for the journey, she speaks with gentle assurance:Go forth, Christian soul, from this world
in the name of God the almighty Father,
who created you,
in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God,
who suffered for you,
in the name of the Holy Spirit,
who was poured out upon you.
Go forth, faithful Christian!

May you live in peace this day,
may your home be with God in Zion,
with Mary, the virgin Mother of God,
with Joseph, and all the angels and saints. . . .

May you return to [your Creator]
who formed you from the dust of the earth.
May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints
come to meet you as you go forth from this life. . . .
May you see your Redeemer face to face. 591


1021 Death puts an end to human life as the time open to either accepting or rejecting the divine grace manifested in Christ.592 The New Testament speaks of judgment primarily in its aspect of the final encounter with Christ in his second coming, but also repeatedly affirms that each will be rewarded immediately after death in accordance with his works and faith. The parable of the poor man Lazarus and the words of Christ on the cross to the good thief, as well as other New Testament texts speak of a final destiny of the soul–a destiny which can be different for some and for others.593

1022 Each man receives his eternal retribution in his immortal soul at the very moment of his death, in a particular judgment that refers his life to Christ: either entrance into the blessedness of heaven-through a purification594 or immediately,595 — or immediate and everlasting damnation.596At the evening of life, we shall be judged on our love.597


1023 Those who die in God’s grace and friendship and are perfectly purified live for ever with Christ. They are like God for ever, for they “see him as he is,” face to face:598By virtue of our apostolic authority, we define the following: According to the general disposition of God, the souls of all the saints . . . and other faithful who died after receiving Christ’s holy Baptism (provided they were not in need of purification when they died, . . . or, if they then did need or will need some purification, when they have been purified after death, . . .) already before they take up their bodies again and before the general judgment – and this since the Ascension of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into heaven – have been, are and will be in heaven, in the heavenly Kingdom and celestial paradise with Christ, joined to the company of the holy angels. Since the Passion and death of our Lord Jesus Christ, these souls have seen and do see the divine essence with an intuitive vision, and even face to face, without the mediation of any creature.599

1024 This perfect life with the Most Holy Trinity – this communion of life and love with the Trinity, with the Virgin Mary, the angels and all the blessed – is called “heaven.” Heaven is the ultimate end and fulfillment of the deepest human longings, the state of supreme, definitive happiness.

1025 To live in heaven is “to be with Christ.” The elect live “in Christ,”600 but they retain, or rather find, their true identity, their own name.601For life is to be with Christ; where Christ is, there is life, there is the kingdom.602

1026 By his death and Resurrection, Jesus Christ has “opened” heaven to us. The life of the blessed consists in the full and perfect possession of the fruits of the redemption accomplished by Christ. He makes partners in his heavenly glorification those who have believed in him and remained faithful to his will. Heaven is the blessed community of all who are perfectly incorporated into Christ.

1027 This mystery of blessed communion with God and all who are in Christ is beyond all understanding and description. Scripture speaks of it in images: life, light, peace, wedding feast, wine of the kingdom, the Father’s house, the heavenly Jerusalem, paradise: “no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.”603

1028 Because of his transcendence, God cannot be seen as he is, unless he himself opens up his mystery to man’s immediate contemplation and gives him the capacity for it. The Church calls this contemplation of God in his heavenly glory “the beatific vision”:How great will your glory and happiness be, to be allowed to see God, to be honored with sharing the joy of salvation and eternal light with Christ your Lord and God, . . . to delight in the joy of immortality in the Kingdom of heaven with the righteous and God’s friends.604

1029 In the glory of heaven the blessed continue joyfully to fulfill God’s will in relation to other men and to all creation. Already they reign with Christ; with him “they shall reign for ever and ever.”605


1030 All who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.

1031 The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned.606 The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire:607As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come.608

1032 This teaching is also based on the practice of prayer for the dead, already mentioned in Sacred Scripture: “Therefore [Judas Maccabeus] made atonement for the dead, that they might be delivered from their sin.”609 From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God.610 The Church also commends almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead:Let us help and commemorate them. If Job’s sons were purified by their father’s sacrifice, why would we doubt that our offerings for the dead bring them some consolation? Let us not hesitate to help those who have died and to offer our prayers for them.611

IV. HELL (Also referenced in the section on Hell, below)

1033 We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor or against ourselves: “He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”612 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.613 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God’s merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self-exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called “hell.”

1034 Jesus often speaks of “Gehenna” of “the unquenchable fire” reserved for those who to the end of their lives refuse to believe and be converted, where both soul and body can be lost.614 Jesus solemnly proclaims that he “will send his angels, and they will gather . . . all evil doers, and throw them into the furnace of fire,”615 and that he will pronounce the condemnation: “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire!”616

1035 The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity. Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, “eternal fire.”617 The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

1036 The affirmations of Sacred Scripture and the teachings of the Church on the subject of hell are a call to the responsibility incumbent upon man to make use of his freedom in view of his eternal destiny. They are at the same time an urgent call to conversion: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”618Since we know neither the day nor the hour, we should follow the advice of the Lord and watch constantly so that, when the single course of our earthly life is completed, we may merit to enter with him into the marriage feast and be numbered among the blessed, and not, like the wicked and slothful servants, be ordered to depart into the eternal fire, into the outer darkness where “men will weep and gnash their teeth.”619

1037 God predestines no one to go to hell;620 for this, a willful turning away from God (a mortal sin) is necessary, and persistence in it until the end. In the Eucharistic liturgy and in the daily prayers of her faithful, the Church implores the mercy of God, who does not want “any to perish, but all to come to repentance”:621Father, accept this offering
from your whole family.
Grant us your peace in this life,
save us from final damnation,
and count us among those you have chosen.622


1038 The resurrection of all the dead, “of both the just and the unjust,”623 will precede the Last Judgment. This will be “the hour when all who are in the tombs will hear [the Son of man’s] voice and come forth, those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of judgment.”624 Then Christ will come “in his glory, and all the angels with him. . . . Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. . . . And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”625

1039 In the presence of Christ, who is Truth itself, the truth of each man’s relationship with God will be laid bare.626 The Last Judgment will reveal even to its furthest consequences the good each person has done or failed to do during his earthly life:All that the wicked do is recorded, and they do not know. When “our God comes, he does not keep silence.”. . . he will turn towards those at his left hand: . . . “I placed my poor little ones on earth for you. I as their head was seated in heaven at the right hand of my Father – but on earth my members were suffering, my members on earth were in need. If you gave anything to my members, what you gave would reach their Head. Would that you had known that my little ones were in need when I placed them on earth for you and appointed them your stewards to bring your good works into my treasury. But you have placed nothing in their hands; therefore you have found nothing in my presence.”627

1040 The Last Judgment will come when Christ returns in glory. Only the Father knows the day and the hour; only he determines the moment of its coming. Then through his Son Jesus Christ he will pronounce the final word on all history. We shall know the ultimate meaning of the whole work of creation and of the entire economy of salvation and understand the marvelous ways by which his Providence led everything towards its final end. The Last Judgment will reveal that God’s justice triumphs over all the injustices committed by his creatures and that God’s love is stronger than death.628

1041 The message of the Last Judgment calls men to conversion while God is still giving them “the acceptable time, . . . the day of salvation.”629 It inspires a holy fear of God and commits them to the justice of the Kingdom of God. It proclaims the “blessed hope” of the Lord’s return, when he will come “to be glorified in his saints, and to be marveled at in all who have believed.”630


1042 At the end of time, the Kingdom of God will come in its fullness. After the universal judgment, the righteous will reign for ever with Christ, glorified in body and soul. The universe itself will be renewed:The Church . . . will receive her perfection only in the glory of heaven, when will come the time of the renewal of all things. At that time, together with the human race, the universe itself, which is so closely related to man and which attains its destiny through him, will be perfectly re-established in Christ.631

1043 Sacred Scripture calls this mysterious renewal, which will transform humanity and the world, “new heavens and a new earth.”632 It will be the definitive realization of God’s plan to bring under a single head “all things in [Christ], things in heaven and things on earth.”633

1044 In this new universe, the heavenly Jerusalem, God will have his dwelling among men.634 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”635

1045 For man, this consummation will be the final realization of the unity of the human race, which God willed from creation and of which the pilgrim Church has been “in the nature of sacrament.”636 Those who are united with Christ will form the community of the redeemed, “the holy city” of God, “the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.”637 She will not be wounded any longer by sin, stains, self-love, that destroy or wound the earthly community.638 The beatific vision, in which God opens himself in an inexhaustible way to the elect, will be the ever-flowing well-spring of happiness, peace, and mutual communion.

1046 For the cosmos, Revelation affirms the profound common destiny of the material world and man:For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God . . . in hope because the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay. . . . We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.639

1047 The visible universe, then, is itself destined to be transformed, “so that the world itself, restored to its original state, facing no further obstacles, should be at the service of the just,” sharing their glorification in the risen Jesus Christ.640

1048 “We know neither the moment of the consummation of the earth and of man, nor the way in which the universe will be transformed. The form of this world, distorted by sin, is passing away, and we are taught that God is preparing a new dwelling and a new earth in which righteousness dwells, in which happiness will fill and surpass all the desires of peace arising in the hearts of men.”641

1049 “Far from diminishing our concern to develop this earth, the expectancy of a new earth should spur us on, for it is here that the body of a new human family grows, foreshadowing in some way the age which is to come. That is why, although we must be careful to distinguish earthly progress clearly from the increase of the kingdom of Christ, such progress is of vital concern to the kingdom of God, insofar as it can contribute to the better ordering of human society.”642

1050 “When we have spread on earth the fruits of our nature and our enterprise . . . according to the command of the Lord and in his Spirit, we will find them once again, cleansed this time from the stain of sin, illuminated and transfigured, when Christ presents to his Father an eternal and universal kingdom.”643 God will then be “all in all” in eternal life:644True and subsistent life consists in this: the Father, through the Son and in the Holy Spirit, pouring out his heavenly gifts on all things without exception. Thanks to his mercy, we too, men that we are, have received the inalienable promise of eternal life.645


1051 Every man receives his eternal recompense in his immortal soul from the moment of his death in a particular judgment by Christ, the judge of the living and the dead.

1052 “We believe that the souls of all who die in Christ’s grace . . . are the People of God beyond death. On the day of resurrection, death will be definitively conquered, when these souls will be reunited with their bodies” (Paul VI, CPG § 28).

1053 “We believe that the multitude of those gathered around Jesus and Mary in Paradise forms the Church of heaven, where in eternal blessedness they see God as he is and where they are also, to various degrees, associated with the holy angels in the divine governance exercised by Christ in glory, by interceding for us and helping our weakness by their fraternal concern” (Paul VI, CPG § 29).

1054 Those who die in God’s grace and friendship imperfectly purified, although they are assured of their eternal salvation, undergo a purification after death, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of God.

1055 By virtue of the “communion of saints,” the Church commends the dead to God’s mercy and offers her prayers, especially the holy sacrifice of the Eucharist, on their behalf.

1056 Following the example of Christ, the Church warns the faithful of the “sad and lamentable reality of eternal death” (GCD 69), also called “hell.”

1057 Hell’s principal punishment consists of eternal separation from God in whom alone man can have the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

1058 The Church prays that no one should be lost: “Lord, let me never be parted from you.” If it is true that no one can save himself, it is also true that God “desires all men to be saved” (1 Tim 2:4), and that for him “all things are possible” (Mt 19:26).

1059 “The holy Roman Church firmly believes and confesses that on the Day of Judgment all men will appear in their own bodies before Christ’s tribunal to render an account of their own deeds” (Council of Lyons II [1274]:DS 859; cf. DS 1549).

1060 At the end of time, the Kingdom of God will come in its fullness. Then the just will reign with Christ for ever, glorified in body and soul, and the material universe itself will be transformed. God will then be “all in all” (1 Cor 15:28), in eternal life.


1061 The Creed, like the last book of the Bible,644 ends with the Hebrew word amen. This word frequently concludes prayers in the New Testament. The Church likewise ends her prayers with “Amen.”

1062 In Hebrew, amen comes from the same root as the word “believe.” This root expresses solidity, trustworthiness, faithfulness. And so we can understand why “Amen” may express both God’s faithfulness towards us and our trust in him.

1063 In the book of the prophet Isaiah, we find the expression “God of truth” (literally “God of the Amen”), that is, the God who is faithful to his promises: “He who blesses himself in the land shall bless himself by the God of truth [amen].”645 Our Lord often used the word “Amen,” sometimes repeated,646 to emphasize the trustworthiness of his teaching, his authority founded on God’s truth.

1064 Thus the Creed’s final “Amen” repeats and confirms its first words: “I believe.” To believe is to say “Amen” to God’s words, promises and commandments; to entrust oneself completely to him who is the “Amen” of infinite love and perfect faithfulness. The Christian’s everyday life will then be the “Amen” to the “I believe” of our baptismal profession of faith:May your Creed be for you as a mirror. Look at yourself in it, to see if you believe everything you say you believe. And rejoice in your faith each day.647

1065 Jesus Christ himself is the “Amen.”648 He is the definitive “Amen” of the Father’s love for us. He takes up and completes our “Amen” to the Father: “For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why we utter the Amen through him, to the glory of God”:649Through him, with him, in him,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
all glory and honor is yours,
Almighty Father,
God, forever and ever.

591 OCF, Prayer of Commendation.
592 Cf. 2 Tim 1:9-10.
593 Cf. Lk 16:22; 23:43; Mt 16:26; 2 Cor 5:8; Phil 1:23; Heb 9:27; 12:23.
594 Cf. Council of Lyons II (1274):DS 857-858; Council of Florence (1439):DS 1304- 1306; Council of Trent (1563):DS 1820.
595 Cf. Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336):DS 1000-1001; John XXII, Ne super his (1334):DS 990.
596 Cf. Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336):DS 1002.
597 St. John of the Cross, Dichos 64.
598 1 Jn 3:2; cf. 1 Cor 13:12; Rev 22:4.
599 Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336):DS 1000; cf. LG 49.
600 Phil 1:23; cf. Jn 14:3; 1 Thess 4:17.
601 Cf. Rev 2:17.
602 St. Ambrose, In Luc.,10,121:PL 15 1834A.
603 1 Cor 2:9.
604 St. Cyprian, Ep. 58,10,1:CSEL 3/2,665.
605 Rev 22:5; cf. Mt 25:21,23.
606 Cf. Council of Florence (1439):DS 1304; Council of Trent (1563):DS 1820; (1547):1580; see also Benedict XII, Benedictus Deus (1336):DS 1000.
607 Cf. 1 Cor 3:15; 1 Pet 1:7.
608 St. Gregory the Great, Dial. 4,39:PL 77,396; cf. Mt 12:31.
609 2 Macc 12:46.
610 Cf. Council of Lyons II (1274):DS 856.
611 St. John Chrysostom, Hom. in 1 Cor. 41,5:PG 61,361; cf. Job 1:5.
612 1 Jn 3:14-15.
613 Cf. Mt 25:31-46.
614 Cf. Mt 5:22,29; 10:28; 13:42,50; Mk 9:43-48.
615 Mt 13:41-42.
616 Mt 25:41.
617 Cf. DS 76; 409; 411; 801; 858; 1002; 1351; 1575; Paul VI, CPG § 12.
618 Mt 7:13-14.
619 LG 48 § 3; Mt 22:13; cf. Heb 9:27; Mt 25:13,26,30,31-46.
620 Cf. Council of Orange II (529):DS 397; Council of Trent (1547):1567.
621 2 Pet 3:9.
622 Roman Missal, EP I (Roman Canon) 88.
623 Acts 24:15.
624 Jn 5:28-29.
625 Mt 25:31,32,46.
626 Cf. Jn 12:49.
627 St. Augustine, Sermo 18, 4:PL 38,130-131; cf. Ps 50:3.
628 Cf. Song 8:6.
629 2 Cor 6:2.
630 Titus 2:13; 2 Thess 1:10.
631 LG 48; Cf. Acts 3:21; Eph 1:10; Col 1:20; 2 Pet 3:10-13.
632 2 Pet 3:13; Cf. Rev 21:1.
633 Eph 1:10.
634 Cf. Rev 21:5.
635 Rev 21:4.
636 Cf. LG 1.
637 Rev 21:2,9.
638 Cf. Rev 21:27.
639 Rom 8:19-23.
640 St. Irenaeus, Adv. haeres. 5,32,1:PG 7/2,210.
641 GS 39 § 1.
642 GS 39 § 2.
643 GS 39 § 3.
644 1 Cor 5:28.
645 St. Cyril of Jerusalem, Catech. illum. 18,29:PG 33,1049.
646 Cf. Rev 22:21.
647 Isa 65:16.
648 Cf. Mt 6:2,5,16; Jn 5:19.
649 St. Augustine, Sermo 58,11,13:PL 38,399.
650 Rev 3:14.
651 2 Cor 1:20.


Hell is not the opposite of Heaven, it is the absence of God. We can’t possibly imagine what that is except that Satan and the other demons chose themselves rather than God. The core of that choice was pride and jealousy, something.

Using my Rule of Threes (looking at the physical universe, the mental one and the spiritual one), there are three kinds of pain, all corresponding with these three universes.

  • The pain of the physical universe. We share this universe with all other living things. Pain here is the physical pain of the body and we have that in common with all other biological or living animals. Living in the physical universe, our bodies are subject to the laws of nature. We have a beginning and an end in this universe, as do all living creatures. We live and we die. We don’t remember the pain we have, just realize that it happens and the need to treat it again before it gets too difficult. Anyone having a toothache knows about pain and once the tooth is pulled or fixed, we forget about the hurt.
  • The pain of the mental universe. We are not just living in the physical universe as our base, we are aware that we are aware, or we know that we know, unlike any other awareness of other living things. This mental universe means our minds can begin to identify and alleviate pain and suffering. We know that we suffer and that affects humans. If we have a tooth that needs to be pulled, we can go to a dentist to extract it. In addition to physical pain, only humans have mental pain, which comes from the results of those non-visible or non-physical tears in the fabric of our values. We loss of a loved one, the divorce of husband and wife, those at odds with their family and friends over differing political viewpoints are all examples of mental pain. This pain can sometimes kill us during our lifetime as in the replacement of hatred from the love of one another. Hatred and the other deadly sins or ways to die, keep humans from realizing their potential. It is most poignantly described in Genesis 1-2 as Adam and Eve were deceived by the deceiver.
  • The pain of the spiritual universe. The Decalogue (Ten Commandments) is a warning from God, our Father, to keep us from walking into the minefield of mental pain and spiritual pain. The Scriptures are books, sayings, stories, parables of how we should deal with mental and spiritual pain. If there is such a thing as the physical pain of the body and physical pain of the mind, then there is also spiritual pain. All humans experience spiritual pain, the longing of the heart until it rests in God, the dissonance that comes from living a life against the cautions and directives of God, of loving authentically with the resonance that comes in all physical, mental, and spiritual universes being in sync. The problem with living in the world is that we wake up each day beginning fresh with running the gauntlet of temptations that try to seduce us, as Satan successfully seduces Adam and Eve that they were god and not the One, True God, the Supreme Being who brings resonance to all reality if we but choose life over death.


Read this excerpt from the Catechism of the Catholic Church. In fact, read it three times, once for the words, the second time for meaning, and the third time asks how it affects how you view reality. One time alone won’t do it. I use this measuring stick of orthodoxy to keep my heretical tendencies in check.

IV. Hell

1033 We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor, or against ourselves: “He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”610 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.611 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God’s merciful love means remaining separated from him forever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self-exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called “hell.”

1034 Jesus often speaks of “Gehenna” of “the unquenchable fire” reserved for those who to the end of their lives refuse to believe and be converted, where both soul and body can be lost.612 Jesus solemnly proclaims that he “will send his angels, and they will gather . . . all evil doers, and throw them into the furnace of fire,”613 and that he will pronounce the condemnation: “Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire!”614

1035 The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity. Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, “eternal fire.”615 The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.

1036 The affirmations of Sacred Scripture and the teachings of the Church on the subject of hell are a call to the responsibility incumbent upon man to make use of his freedom in view of his eternal destiny. They are at the same time an urgent call to conversion: “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”616

Since we know neither the day nor the hour, we should follow the advice of the Lord and watch constantly so that, when the single course of our earthly life is completed, we may merit to enter with him into the marriage feast and be numbered among the blessed, and not, like the wicked and slothful servants, be ordered to depart into the eternal fire, into the outer darkness where “men will weep and gnash their teeth.”617

1037 God predestines no one to go to hell;618 for this, a willful turning away from God (a mortal sin) is necessary, and persistence in it until the end. In the Eucharistic liturgy and in the daily prayers of her faithful, the Church implores the mercy of God, who does not want “any to perish, but all to come to repentance”:619

Father, accept this offering

from your whole family.

Grant us your peace in this life,

save us from final damnation,

and count us among those you have chosen.620

610 1  Jn 3:14-15.

611 Cf.  Mt 25:31-46.

612 Cf.  Mt 5:22,  29;  10:28;  13:42,  50;  Mk 9:43-48.

613 Mt 13:41-42.

614 Mt 25:41.

615 Cf. DS 76; 409; 411; 801; 858; 1002; 1351; 1575; Paul VI, CPG # 12.

616 Mt 7:13-14.

617 LG 48 # 3;  Mt 22:13; cf.  Heb 9:27;  Mt 25:13,  26,  30,  31  46.

618 Cf. Council of Orange II (529): DS 397; Council of Trent

619 2 Pet 3:9.

620 Roman Missal, EP I (Roman Canon) 88.

St. Benedict speaks of the fear of the Lord and our need to be aware of the existence of Hell in his Chapter 4 of the Rule of Benedict. https://christdesert.org/

41 Place your hope in God alone.
42 If you notice something good in yourself, give credit to God, not to yourself,
43 but be certain that the evil you commit is always your own and yours to acknowledge.

44 Live in fear of judgment day
45 and have a great horror of hell.

Hell is a condition or a permanent existence where all three types of pain exist (physical, mental, and spiritual). I don’t know much about Hell, but I will say that I hope there are not a lot of people there. God gives humans every chance to fulfill their destinies, going so far as to bestowing adoption as sons and daughters of the Father. I can’t imagine that if people actually knew what Hell was like, they would choose it freely. That said, Hell is the ultimate proof of God’s love for humans, in that, like Lucifer and the other fallen angels, the choice to be God or to be you as God extends forever. At stake here is the love of God versus the love of self as God. Seeking God every day as a Lay Cistercian means anticipating foggy and what is unattainable yet just beyond my grasp.


I was scared in my Lectio Divina because I was afraid of God (although I am always afraid of what I can’t quite control). My fear comes from realizing that I am actually beginning to make sense of how all of these ideas of Jesus fit together in my timeframe and within my heart. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I think I am beginning to feel what that means, not just as a mental construct but as part of who I am. Another way to say it is the transformation of the false self to a new self. The scary part is if I am so excited over just a peek at how this all fits together, what can I expect in heaven when all of this fogginess clears up?

When St. Thomas Aquinas, the great Doctor of the Church, remarked to colleagues that, after contemplating the totality of all reality, everything he wrote about God was so much straw compared to who God is. All I have is glimmers of what lies ahead, but I would sell everything I have to possess the limited joys that await me.

One of my favorite photos is about a solitary cup sitting on a windowsill. In the background is a foggy window with just faint images on the other side. This photo is my favorite to depict who I am looking through the window at something on the other side, murky, just barely visible, knowing that something is there, but I am not sure of that. This is like the Mystery of Faith. Through contemplation and using Cistercian practices and charisms, my Faith is in the words of Christ that He is in on the other side; my Hope is that the words of Christ to me that He is preparing a place for me on the other side of this window is true, and my Love is that, right now on this earth, seeking God each day, Heaven is right now in what I transform from my false self to my true self as an adopted son of the Father.

CONTEMPLATING contemplative prayer

In asking the question, “What is contemplative prayer?”, I remembered what I read in the Catechism of the Catholic Church about prayer. I revisited that text and read it three times. Once, for the words, another time for the meaning, and the third time as meditation that leads to contemplation. Each time I read the text, I slowed down both my reading and my mind in order to savor the meaning of the words.

The purpose of my reading it three times is to dislodge all distractions of the words and move into asking how the text speaks to me of what it feels like to experience prayer. Let me explain. As part of the complete text below, there is a paragraph on contemplative prayer. 2713 “Contemplative prayer is the simplest expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gift, a grace; it can be accepted only in humility and poverty. Contemplative prayer is a covenant relationship established by God within our hearts.9 Contemplative prayer is a communion in which the Holy Trinity conforms man, the image of God, “to his likeness.”

When I read this text, I try to do so in the silence and solitude of my inner room, the place where Christ and I meet to discuss whatever He wants. I listen with “the ear of the heart” as much as my human condition permits. I try to imagine what it feels like to have “a covenant relationship established by God within our hearts.” This movement from the written word to the feelings expressed by the text to give us the opportunity to be present to Christ through the Holy Spirit is at the heart of my Lay Cistercian quest for contemplation.







2700 Through his Word, God speaks to man. By words, mental or vocal, our prayer takes flesh. Yet it is most important that the heart should be present to him to whom we are speaking in prayer: “Whether or not our prayer is heard depends not on the number of words, but on the fervor of our souls.”2

2701 Vocal prayer is an essential element of the Christian life. To his disciples, drawn by their Master’s silent prayer, Jesus teaches a vocal prayer, the Our Father. He not only prayed aloud the liturgical prayers of the synagogue but, as the Gospels show, he raised his voice to express his personal prayer, from exultant blessing of the Father to the agony of Gesthemani.3

2702 The need to involve the senses in interior prayer corresponds to a requirement of our human nature. We are body and spirit, and we experience the need to translate our feelings externally. We must pray with our whole being to give all power possible to our supplication.

2703 This need also corresponds to a divine requirement. God seeks worshippers in Spirit and in Truth, and consequently living prayer that rises from the depths of the soul. He also wants the external expression that associates the body with interior prayer, for it renders him that perfect homage which is his due.

2704 Because it is external and so thoroughly human, vocal prayer is the form of prayer most readily accessible to groups. Even interior prayer, however, cannot neglect vocal prayer. Prayer is internalized to the extent that we become aware of him “to whom we speak;”4 Thus vocal prayer becomes an initial form of contemplative prayer.


2705 Meditation is above all a quest. The mind seeks to understand the why and how of the Christian life, in order to adhere and respond to what the Lord is asking. The required attentiveness is difficult to sustain. We are usually helped by books, and Christians do not want for them: the Sacred Scriptures, particularly the Gospels, holy icons, liturgical texts of the day or season, writings of the spiritual fathers, works of spirituality, the great book of creation, and that of history the page on which the “today” of God is written.

2706 To meditate on what we read helps us to make it our own by confronting it with ourselves. Here, another book is opened: the book of life. We pass from thoughts to reality. To the extent that we are humble and faithful, we discover in meditation the movements that stir the heart and we are able to discern them. It is a question of acting truthfully in order to come into the light: “Lord, what do you want me to do?”

2707 There are as many and varied methods of meditation as there are spiritual masters. Christians owe it to themselves to develop the desire to meditate regularly, lest they come to resemble the three first kinds of soil in the parable of the sower.5 But a method is only a guide; the important thing is to advance, with the Holy Spirit, along the one way of prayer: Christ Jesus.

2708 Meditation engages thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. This mobilization of faculties is necessary in order to deepen our convictions of faith, prompt the conversion of our heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ. Christian prayer tries above all to meditate on the mysteries of Christ, as in lectio divina or the rosary. This form of prayerful reflection is of great value, but Christian prayer should go further: to the knowledge of the love of the Lord Jesus, to union with him.


2709 What is contemplative prayer? St. Teresa answers: “Contemplative prayer [oracion mental] in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.”6 Contemplative prayer seeks him “whom my soul loves.”7 It is Jesus, and in him, the Father. We seek him, because to desire him is always the beginning of love, and we seek him in that pure faith which causes us to be born of him and to live in him. In this inner prayer we can still meditate, but our attention is fixed on the Lord himself.

2710 The choice of the time and duration of the prayer arises from a determined will, revealing the secrets of the heart. One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: one makes time for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials and dryness one may encounter. One cannot always meditate, but one can always enter into inner prayer, independently of the conditions of health, work, or emotional state. The heart is the place of this quest and encounter, in poverty ant in faith.

2711 Entering into contemplative prayer is like entering into the Eucharistic liturgy: we “gather up:” the heart, recollect our whole being under the prompting of the Holy Spirit, abide in the dwelling place of the Lord which we are, awaken our faith in order to enter into the presence of him who awaits us. We let our masks fall and turn our hearts back to the Lord who loves us, so as to hand ourselves over to him as an offering to be purified and transformed.

2712 Contemplative prayer is the prayer of the child of God, of the forgiven sinner who agrees to welcome the love by which he is loved and who wants to respond to it by loving even more.8 But he knows that the love he is returning is poured out by the Spirit in his heart, for everything is grace from God. Contemplative prayer is the poor and humble surrender to the loving will of the Father in ever deeper union with his beloved Son.

2713 Contemplative prayer is the simplest expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gift, a grace; it can be accepted only in humility and poverty. Contemplative prayer is a covenant relationship established by God within our hearts.9 Contemplative prayer is a communion in which the Holy Trinity conforms man, the image of God, “to his likeness.”

2714 Contemplative prayer is also the pre-eminently intense time of prayer. In it the Father strengthens our inner being with power through his Spirit “that Christ may dwell in [our] hearts through faith” and we may be “grounded in love.”10

2715 Contemplation is a gaze of faith, fixed on Jesus. “I look at him and he looks at me”: this is what a certain peasant of Ars in the time of his holy curé used to say while praying before the tabernacle. This focus on Jesus is a renunciation of self. His gaze purifies our heart; the light of the countenance of Jesus illumines the eyes of our heart and teaches us to see everything in the light of his truth and his compassion for all men. Contemplation also turns its gaze on the mysteries of the life of Christ. Thus it learns the “interior knowledge of our Lord,” the more to love him and follow him.11

2716 Contemplative prayer is hearing the Word of God. Far from being passive, such attentiveness is the obedience of faith, the unconditional acceptance of a servant, and the loving commitment of a child. It participates in the “Yes” of the Son become servant and the Fiat of God’s lowly handmaid.

2717 Contemplative prayer is silence, the “symbol of the world to come”12 or “silent love.”13 Words in this kind of prayer are not speeches; they are like kindling that feeds the fire of love. In this silence, unbearable to the “outer” man, the Father speaks to us his incarnate Word, who suffered, died, and rose; in this silence the Spirit of adoption enables us to share in the prayer of Jesus.

2718 Contemplative prayer is a union with the prayer of Christ insofar as it makes us participate in his mystery. The mystery of Christ is celebrated by the Church in the Eucharist, and the Holy Spirit makes it come alive in contemplative prayer so that our charity will manifest it in our acts.

2719 Contemplative prayer is a communion of love bearing Life for the multitude, to the extent that it consents to abide in the night of faith. The Paschal night of the Resurrection passes through the night of the agony and the tomb – the three intense moments of the Hour of Jesus which his Spirit (and not “the flesh [which] is weak”) brings to life in prayer. We must be willing to “keep watch with [him] one hour.”14


2720 The Church invites the faithful to regular prayer: daily prayers, the Liturgy of the Hours, Sunday Eucharist, the feasts of the liturgical year.

2721 The Christian tradition comprises three major expressions of the life of prayer: vocal prayer, meditation, and contemplative prayer. They have in common the recollection of the heart.

2722 Vocal prayer, founded on the union of body and soul in human nature, associates the body with the interior prayer of the heart, following Christ’s example of praying to his Father and teaching the Our Father to his disciples.

2723 Meditation is a prayerful quest engaging thought, imagination, emotion, and desire. Its goal is to make our own in faith the subject considered, by confronting it with the reality of our own life.

2724 Contemplative prayer is the simple expression of the mystery of prayer. It is a gaze of faith fixed on Jesus, an attentiveness to the Word of God, a silent love. It achieves real union with the prayer of Christ to the extent that it makes us share in his mystery.

2 St. John Chrysostom, Ecloga de oratione 2:PG 63,585.
3 Cf. Mt 11:25-26; Mk 14:36.
4 St. Teresa of Jesus, The Way of Perfection 26,9 in The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, and O. Rodriguez, OCD (Washington DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1980),II,136.
5 Cf. Mk 4:4-7, 15-19.
6 St. Teresa of Jesus, The Book of Her Life, 8,5 in The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, and O. Rodriguez, OCD (Washington DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1976),I,67.
Song 1:7; cf. 3:14.
8 Cf. Lk 7:36-50; 19:1-10.
9 Cf. Jer 31:33.
10 Eph 3:16-17.
11 Cf. St. Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises, 104.
12 Cf. St. Isaac of Nineveh, Tract. myst. 66.
13 St. John of the Cross, Maxims and Counsels, 53 in The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross, tr. K. Kavanaugh, OCD, and O. Rodriguez, OCD (Washington DC: Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1979), 678.
14 Cf. Mt 26:40.


Prayer is the lifting of the heart and mind to God, as I learned from the Baltimore Catechisms way back in 1952. When joined with the heart of Christ, each day of seeking God is, in itself, the prayer of transformation from false self to God. We only seek what we love and pursue it with the energy of one who longs to find permanent resonance to the call of the heart: Our hearts are made to rest only in Thee, O Lord.



I have always enjoyed watching a track meet on television. There are many events that fun to watch, such as the hurtles, the high jump, and pole vault. My favorite track event is the team relay, where four of the fastest runners compete, each one racing one turn around the oval. In this particular athletic event, it is important to designate the first runner as setting the pace, the second and third runner with maintaining the pace, and the last runner, the one with special skills of speed and endurance, to make it to the finish line. There is one other aspect of the relay that is important and that is the hand-off. This is a make or break event where one runner finishes and the other one graps the baton and scampers off. Dropping the baton means you will lose the event.

My latest Lectio Divina meditation (Philippians 2:5) had to do with a track meet with four other team members who must hand off the baton to the next person.

My meditation begins with my being at Inman Field in Vincennes, Indiana (where I actually participated in a relay track event and was embarrassing). A track relay event is like the whole experience of the Sacred, it has a bunch of handoffs. There are four other members of my team.https://www.vcsc.k12.in.us/athletic-facilities/

ADAM – Adam begins the race of our seeking God because he was created by God to run the race. Unfortunate for him, he dropped the baton which he received from God.

JESUS — Humanity had to wait for Jesus to pick up the dropped baton and run with it. Fortunately for us, Jesus is a good runner and finished his heat by handing it off to the next runner, Peter.

PETER – Peter was the next runner but was flawed, having dropped the baton several times in practice. With the Holy Spirit as his coach, Peter found the courage to rise above his deficiencies and ran the race, although not at the fastest speed. Peter is the Church and in each age, for each individual gives them the opportunity to pick up the next baton and run the final lap.

ME — I get to run the last lap when I am given the opportunity to be a member of the team and take the handoff from the Church. The Church provides me with the coaching to sustain me in my life as I run to the finish line, heaven.


  • When I use this example in my mediations, I think of how fortunate I am that God wants me as a member of His team (I am a member of God’s team by His choice, not mine). I must agree to be on the team and to finish the race, even if I stop along the way because I am out of breath).
  • All the team members are linked together as one team, one coach, one race.
  • All of us want to win our lap of the race, even if we are out of shape and need the help of coaching to get us ready to receive our crown of victory.
  • Satan is on the opposition talking trash about how bad I am and how I can’t finish the race because I am on the wrong team. He can’t stop me from running but he can play games with my mind and heart.
  • Because of the tools which Christ left me and passed on through the Church Universal, I have God’s own energy at my disposal if I just ask for it. Contemplative practices and charisms are the exercises I do to keep in shape so I can hear my coach, The Holy Spirit, encourage me that, even though I am flawed, like St. Peter, I can make it to the end.
  • Each individual, each human, gets a chance to get handed the baton for that last lap. Some don’t know they are in the race, some do know, but don’t have the skills to run or grasp the baton, letting it fall to the ground, which some grasp at Baptism and run to the best of their abilities for the prize. Faith helps in the running and grasp of the baton so we don’t drop it. Hope is that we can finish the race with the help of the Holy Spirit and reach the finish line, rejecting Satan and all his empty promises. Love is the inner strength, that of God’s own energy that compels us forward, not because of our efforts, but due to the pure love God has for us.
  • In this race of a lifetime, we can get out of breath many times and must stop and make all things new again in, with, and through Christ in the Cistercian practices and charism that help us be present to God each day.
  • God won’t run the race for us, but he is jogging along beside us the whole way. Come to me, all you who are heavily burdened and I will refresh you.
  • All those in heaven who have gone before us cheer us on in our lifetime to persevere, have courage, don’t stop, and never give in to Satan. They pray for us to run the good race and fight the good fight. They are our Hall of Famers that give those of us still on earth Hope that the Resurrection is real and that a great gathering awaits us when we die.


The past week’s events have left me in shock over the lack of respect people have for our Presidential electoral process, our Nation’s Capitol, and the behaviors displayed by any and all political parties. Long ago, I lost my respect for the political processes on all sides. I am no longer either Democratic or Republican in affiliation but have reverted to a third position, which, I hope, brings true healing to those of goodwill.

I now take the position that the only true principle of freedom is the Christ Principle. I don’t force this view on anyone, but I want to share with you why I think it good to remind us that we are what we place at the center of what we consider reality. I call this centering, not to be confused with centering prayer. It is getting back to basics when the Tower of Babel that is our political scene screams anger, fear, jealousy, revenge, envy, self-righteousness, and factions. From the fulness of the heart, the mouth speaks, says Scriptures. All of us fall into that trap of the Wiley One.

Here are several principles that I use in my life (not always successfully) to keep myself focused on the Christ Principle, from which all flows and into which all returns. These are the ones, outside of myself, that I use to measure if I am in sync with the mind of Christ Jesus or am a false prophet with myself as god. What would happen if you or I measure themselves in terms of these sub-principles?

I. What is the purpose of all life? My answer comes from Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:36. It is to love God with all my mind, all my heart, all my strength, and my neighbor as myself. How does the current political rhetoric on all sides measure up against that? Is anyone out there saying that we should love our neighbor and not keep vengeance and vindication? I am not talking of any political party but what we should do in any situation.

II. What is my purpose within that purpose of life? I am only here for seventy or eighty years at most (I am 80.4 years already), so what I become is the result of my personal choices of those options others have left for me. Each of us, individually and collectively, can choose a center that is core to who you are and who you will become. It is the one principle upon which all your reality rests. Take it away, and you have no purpose for living. My center, the one I chose freely to place at my center of reality, is to have in you the mind of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 2:5) I call it the Christ Principle. What happens when you place a particular political party or any “ism” as your center? If hatred and vengeance is your center, your actions will betray you and infect those around you. Read what happens when you place unauthentic values at your center. These words of St. Paul to the Galatians, Chapter 5, seem to speak to me today about the political situation that has engulfed us.

Freedom for Service.*13 For you were called for freedom, brothers.j But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve* one another through love.14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”*15 But if you go on biting and devouring one another, beware that you are not consumed by one another. 16l I say, then: live by the Spirit, and you will certainly not gratify the flesh’s desire.*17 For the flesh has desires against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so you may not do what you want.m18 But if you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law.n19* Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness,o20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions,p21 occasions of envy,* drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. As I warned you before, I warn you that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness,q23 gentleness, self-control. Against such, there is no law.r24 Now those who belong to Christ [Jesus] have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires.s25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.t26 Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envious of one another. u

Listen to your television and the media. What are they advocating? Peace? Justice? Reconciliation? You be the judge. When political ideology replaces the Gospel mandates of loving others as Christ loves us, red flags go up for me. Be patient! Place true principles at your center, and you will have the desires of the Spirit. Place false promises and emotions at your center, and you will have the desires of the flesh. I don’t control any political party because they seem to be trending towards the flesh. The only thing I can do is in the silence and solitude of my heart, be present to Christ and ask for mercy, first for myself and then for all those who have been seduced by the false promises of Satan. What you place at your center is who you are and who you will become. What is in your center?



In my practice of trying to have Christ Jesus’s mind each day (Philippians 1:5), I have noticed that I do best when I establish some sort of habit or schedule to help me focus. I don’t want to fall into the trap of establishing the schedule, and then that schedule becomes the purpose for my seeking to be in the presence of Christ through contemplative practices. On the other hand, I want to remember to do certain practices, daily, weekly, monthly, or once a year, because it puts me next to the heart of Christ. Here are some of the habits I try to do to seek God each day. Some days are better than others.


  • Begin my daily with the Morning Offering while sitting on the bed before my toes hit the floor.
  • Realize that each day is a lifetime, or maybe my last.
  • Dedicate each day to a different purpose and ways to seek God that day.
  • Pray for individuals who have died and ask for God’s mercy and for them to pray for me as they kneel before the Throne of the Lamb.
  • Ask for God’s mercy on me for my past sins of neglect and just being insensitive to the needs of others (not loving others as Christ has loved me).
  • Lectio Divina three or four times per day (sometimes mini-Lectio and sometimes one or two hours uninterrupted) around my center, Philippians 2:5.
  • Sometime, each day, write blogs such as the one you are reading to share it with my daughter and those who care to read the mutterings of a wobbly, broken-down, old Lay Cistercian.
  • Reading Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer, as I can, each day on http://www.divineoffice.org.
  • Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict, all, or in some part, each day.
  • Read Scriptures at least once a day for just a minute or more. You do what you love to do. In this case, it is where I am present to Christ, but also Christ is present to me in a special way.
  • Be aware that I must become what I read, do, and love.


  • Read something from Cistercian authors and reflect on how it fits into my view of what is real.
  • Renew my dedication to my center: Philippians 2:5.


  • Awareness of my need for God’s mercy each day and to connect to the Church Universal by going to chapel (COVID 19 protocols observed) in silence and solitude and sit in wonder by listening with the ear of the heart.


  • Renew my Lay Cistercian Promises, my marriage promises, and commitments to love God with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my strength, and my neighbor as myself.

The struggle of Contemplative Practice is one of my awareness that I am a pilgrim living in a foreign land. My destiny is the kingdom of heaven, and all I do is be aware that it begins now, each day with what I know, what I love, and how I do what Christ told me to do.


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