The Center for contemplative practice
A Lay Cistercian Looks at Spiritual Reality
THE DARK SIDE OF LOVE
This is a topic which can be misleading, if not put into context. In my Lectio Divina a few weeks ago, Phil 2:5, I came across several thoughts that made me sit up straight and come to attention. I was thinking, if love is the purpose of life, Deuteronomy 6 and Matthew 22:37, is love always easy and happy, full of peace, with no anxiety or stress? Is love without pain or sacrifice of self? Right away, I thought of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemani. Matthew 26:38-40 This is genuine love but one that demands choice, a choice that is uncomfortable, the dark side of love. This dark side of one is not evil or bad or less love than the bright side. The dark side of love is not the same as dark love, but the reality that sometimes love demands great courage and sacrifice to remain true. You have heard of the phrase TOUGH LOVE.
- Dark love is like the marriage vow that says I will love you in good time and in bad, in sickness and in health, no matter how rich you are or how poor you may become.
- Dark love is the person who must give up everything to be with their partner or child, such as someone who has leukemia.
- Dark love is the mom and dad that sell all they have to keep their children health and off of drugs
- Dark love is what Christ had for us when he knew he would have to suffer and die for our redemption, He became sin for us, even though he was without sin.
- Dark love is the son who gives up his job to be able to feed and care for his mother with Alzheimer’s disease.
- Dark love is someone who puts up with verbal abuse and terrible personal discounts with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder or Anger Mood disorder.
- Dark love is putting up with the hatred of children who accuse you of being in la-la land when you try to move from self to God.
- Dark love is Phil 2:5.
- With dark love, love does not count the cost or the suffering you must endure to be with someone who needs you.
- With dark love comes living out the sign of contradiction, taking up your cross daily, loving those who hate you, not returning evil for evil talk, and loving those who do harm to you. Read Chapter 4 of the Rule of St. Benedict.
As one who aspires to be a Lay Cistercian, I view dark love as the price I must pay for the pearl of great price, the treasure I would sell all to possess, even though those closest to me don’t have a clue what that means for me.
These are just some thoughts from a broken-down, old temple of the Holy Spirit.
LEARNING POINTS
What would you do to keep your faith relationship with Christ intact?
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