This topic is like walking in quicksand. If I am talking with my wife, of course, she is more important because she is more present to me (and, I would get killed if I said otherwise). If I am honest with what I believe about the purpose of life and my purpose in that purpose, I must defer to what St. Benedict says in Chapter 4: “prefer nothing to the love of Christ”.
In my world of reality, putting God means I put my wife first. Think about it. If I seek God where I am, and where I choose to live out my life is in the marriage covenant, then putting God first gives me the energy from God (Faith) to love others as Christ loves me.
Think about it. If I try to have in me the mind of Christ Jesus, (Philippians 2:5), I do that by respecting those around me.
If I try to love God with all my heart, and soul, and all my strength, then I try to move from my false selfishness to allow Christ to grow in me (capacitas dei). When I do that, I am at resonance with reality and not in dissonance.
If I struggle with living out my Cistercian charisms and practices as I promised at my lifetime profession, in humility, I must recognize that the default in which in life is THE WORLD, and I said I would live my life IN THE SPIRIT.
The words of Christ come to mind, “seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all things will be given to you besides.”