i have a problem

For the last several weeks, I have been experiencing some very unusual thoughts. I would not say they are bad thoughts, but just persistent. Let me share. For the last month, I have been waking up at night almost always about 2:30 a.m. I have the old man’s problem (I don’t know if old women have this or not) of going to the bathroom and getting back to sleep. That is not the problem I have. I had a problem in 2007 which was cardiac arrest (The Widow maker). That is not the problem I have. In 2014, I was diagnosed with CLL type Leukemia and received nine chemo treatments to flush out a football size mass on the outside of my liver. I am cancer free after five years. That, too, is not the problem I have.

Going back to waking up at 2:30 a.m., I found myself thinking of the center of my life and also the only Lectio Divina I have ever used. (Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5). What is strange is that I find myself always drawn to thoughts about Christ that I could use in my blog, the one you are reading. This very topic came to me this morning. I began to realize that I have been doing Lectio Divina so many times and with such frequency that I don’t even use the four stages of Lectio (Reading, Meditation, Prayer, and Contemplation.) Just this morning, I was sitting at the table around 10:00 a.m. waiting for the plumber to come and fix our toilet bowl, and I found myself thinking of my Lectio saying. This led to all sorts of ideas, two of which I am going to write down for possible books. The flush of ideas and wonderful thoughts is undiminshed over the last year or so. Is there such a thing as a human not having the ability to process the limitless grace he receives from the Holy Spirit? Well, that is my problem and I am most grateful to have it as a challenge for the future.


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