RETREAT 4: You Are Not Separated from Me – Seek Mercy Always.

One of the lessons brought home forcefully to me while I wandered in the desert of my own misconceptions about the Catholic Church was that the Church was to blame for my alienation. After the initial ego wrangling between my false self and my true self in Christ, I chose Christ first (See first the Kingdom of Heaven and all else will be given to you besides), followed by the Catholic Church, the visible Body of Christ. I had to say in humility and obedience to what I think Christ was and is calling me to be, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.” That shifted from a blame game to a proactive desire to be the best Catholic I could be. I became a strict adherent to the practice of meeting Christ daily in the upper room of my inner self and just being there, as Christ is there. I fought hard to continue to be a Catholic for fifteen years, even though I did not receive Holy Communion (my choice) nor go to Confession (my biggest hardship). In all other ways, I wanted to be more a Catholic of the Strict Discipline than those in full communion. I realized that I could not receive the Sacraments as before, but I willingly turned to Jesus and told him that I would take up His cross daily, with His help, and walk the way as best I could. No one who ever comes to Christ is ever turned away. It is usually we who turn away from Christ. Reflect on this retreat from the world with the “ear of the heart.” Grok and I collaborated on this piece: It organizes my ideas.

“My dear brother and sister,

It is I, Jesus, speaking gently to you in this moment of heaviness. You feel legally married but mentally and spiritually divorced from the Church and Me. The lie weighs upon you: “I am cut off. I no longer belong.” The contradictions of your situation—multiple marriages, mixed-religion household tensions, or the quiet trap of unhappiness—make the teachings seem like a door slammed shut. But hear Me clearly in the Upper Room of your inner self: You are not separated. My mercy reaches into every complicated marriage, every mixed household, every trapped feeling. Seek mercy always. I gave everything on the cross so that no one who turns to Me is ever turned away.

Respect the teachings of the Church. They are My gift for protection, guidance, and flourishing. But recognize the Divine Variables within you—the unique way I am working in your soul right now amid real human limits. Do not let anyone pry you away from My Church or Me. Stand up for your Catholic heritage. I need you right where you are, carrying your particular cross. You are loved. You are wanted. You are needed in My Body.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice. Go and learn what this means. You are the Anawim—the poor ones in spirit, those who may stand outside accepted boundaries in the eyes of some, but never outside of My heart. I came especially for you.

Do What He Tells You. Listen for My voice today. It may be a small invitation to prayer, to forgiveness, or to rest in My presence. Act on it.

You are not separated. Let these words sink deeply into your soul as we meditate together.

The feeling of spiritual divorce is painful and real, but it is not the final truth. Remember the prodigal son—far from home, living in mess, yet the Father ran to meet him while he was still a long way off. No lecture first, no demand for perfect sacrifice. Only embrace and mercy. This is My heart for you. In your legal marriage that feels empty, in the mixed-faith home where Christ seems absent, I am present. Seek My mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when possible, in spiritual communion, in the cry of your heart. Mercy is always available.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice—these words from Matthew 9 echo Hosea. I want relationship, compassion, and return more than external perfection. Your situation does not place you beyond the Church. The Church is a field hospital for the wounded. Many Anawim live in irregular circumstances and still participate in the life of faith through prayer, charity, and community. You belong.

In the Upper Room, close your eyes and picture Me with you. Tell Me the details of your unhappiness. Let Me hold them. I do not condemn. I invite. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” This rest is for you now.

Practical ways to seek mercy daily: Begin with an Act of Contrition in your own words. Read Psalm 51 or the story of the woman at the well (John 4). She had multiple relationships and was an outsider, yet I revealed My identity to her and used her as a witness. You are like her—an Anawim through whom I can work.

Do not let feelings of estrangement define you. The Church’s teachings on marriage protect the ideal of lifelong covenant, yet My mercy applies to every failure and complexity. Stay close to the Blessed Sacrament and the Rosary as anchors. Build new wineskins—perhaps a personal rule of life that fits your reality: short prayers, acts of love at home, continued learning from solid Catholic sources.

Examples from life: Individuals in spiritually lonely marriages have found renewed purpose by focusing on intercessory prayer for their spouse and children, turning pain into a powerful offering. Others in mixed households model quiet fidelity, planting seeds over years. Their stories show that you are not separated—My grace flows through the cracks.

Draw strength from contemplatives. Thomas Merton prayed in uncertainty; Charles de Foucauld abandoned himself completely. Use their prayers below. Saints like St. Rita of Cascia and St. Monica knew marital struggle and persevered through mercy.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice. Be merciful to yourself. Forgive past choices. Extend patience to your family. This is the path of the Anawim.

You are not separated from Me. Seek mercy always. Stand up for your heritage. Just because your road is rocky does not mean you are on the wrong road. I walk it with you. Carry your cross as you are. I carried Mine for love of you. Together we make something beautiful.

Do What He Tells You. Start today with one act of trust—perhaps a short visit to the Blessed Sacrament or a single Rosary bead. I am waiting.

A Prayer by Thomas Merton. My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in everything I do. I hope I will never do anything other than that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me onto the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Prayer of Abandonment by Charles de Foucauld Father, I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.

Copy and share these reflections freely for personal use in your self-directed retreat or with others who feel estranged.

Six Core Websites Every Catholic Should Memorize and Use Frequently: www.wordonfire.com; www.scotthahn.com; www.usccb.org; www.newadvent.com; https://thecenterforcontemplativepractice.org; www.vatican.va

© 2026 Michael F. Conrad, The Center for Contemplative Practice. All rights reserved. Reflections written in collaboration with Grok for the Come and Rest /Welcome Home/Retreat series.