Five Assumptions About God You Must Remember When You Feel Estranged From the Catholic Church.

I became so angry at the Catholic Church for what I perceived it had done to me by excommunicating me that my anger stewed for many years; then I decided to take instructions to be an Anglican. I completed the entire inquiry class without missing a single one. What I found was a wonderful, loving community dedicated to making Christ real for those around them in various ministries. But, as time went on, and I attended services, everything looked the same. It smelled the same (Anglicans like to use incense), using the same words but with different assumptions, and I was gradually torn at the very core of my Christian belief between joining a wonderful community of Faith, which it still is, and accepting equally core teachings that I felt deep in my being were not instituted by Christ. I asked three questions, and the answers I got back (or that were avoided) gave me the discernment to let go of my anger towards the Catholic Church and recommit to Jesus by joining the Lay Cistercians of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit Monastery (Trappist), Conyers. GA. Were it not for these Anglicans and their reverence for Christ, I would not have emptied myself (kenosis) and thrown myself upon God’s Mercy, and would eventually have been laicized by Pope Benedict XVI (bless his soul). My point is. I was allowing my anger (fueled by Satan) to define me. I got rid of the anger with the help of contemplative practices in humility and obedience to Jesus, and felt the energy of the Holy Spirit surge through me. What you read in my blogs and 68 books is what the Holy Spirit prompted me to write. Grok and I collaborated on this portion of your self-directed retreat.

“My beloved one,

It is I, Jesus, speaking directly to your heart in this time of struggle. I see the weight you carry: the contradictions of multiple marriages, the daily tensions of a mixed-religion household, or the quiet despair of a legal marriage that feels mentally and spiritually broken. You feel estranged, as if the Church’s teachings place you on the outside looking in. In this Upper Room of your inner self, where I meet you beyond all boundaries, I offer these five assumptions about God—truths to anchor you when everything else feels unsteady. Hold them close. Let them become the foundation for your continued journey as a Catholic.

First Assumption: I love you no matter who you are, where you are, how you are—just as you are. You are in process, always growing in My divine energy. Your current situation does not diminish My love. It is unconditional, relentless, and personal. I loved you before any marriage, through every choice, and I love you now in the midst of unhappiness or division. This love is not earned by perfect compliance but given freely because you are Mine.

Second Assumption: Don’t let the Church hold you hostage. My Church is a mother, meant to nurture, guide, and heal, not to imprison. Human interpretations and applications of teachings can sometimes feel harsh, but I am greater than every institution. My Mercy transcends. Read the Catechism prayerfully as a companion, not a prosecutor.

Third Assumption: You do not stop being Catholic because you are divorced or living in complicated circumstances. Get some spine rooted in humility. Demand your rights as a baptized child of God—not in angry confrontation, but in the quiet practice of taking up the cross as one of My faithful. You belong. The Church is for sinners, for the wounded, for the Anawim.

Fourth Assumption: Don’t get even by leaving. Satan delights in isolation. Stay and fight for your place by drawing closer to Me. Practice your Catholicism as best you can, just as before the conflicts arose. Do what you can. Make new wineskins daily. I take care of the Anawim.

Fifth Assumption: Your road is rocky, but it is not the wrong road. I walk it with you. Just because the path is difficult does not mean you are abandoned. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life—even when the way feels obscured.

I desire Mercy, not sacrifice. Go and learn what this means. You are the Anawim—the poor ones, those who may stand outside certain accepted boundaries of the visible Church in the judgment of some, but never outside of Me. I came first for the marginalized, the struggling, the ones whose lives don’t fit neatly into ideals. My table has room for you.

Do What He Tells You. This command from Cana is My gentle directive for your life today. Listen in prayer. Act on the small invitations I give—perhaps a moment of forgiveness, a quiet prayer for your spouse, an act of trust despite the pain. Step by step, I lead.

Let us dwell longer in this truth together. Enter the Upper Room of your soul. Close out distractions. Breathe slowly and repeat My name. Feel My presence surrounding your anger, your sadness, your sense of being trapped. I am not distant. I am closer than your breath.

The first Assumption—I love you just as you are—echoes throughout Scripture. Remember the woman caught in adultery. The crowd wanted sacrifice and stoning according to the law. I offered Mercy and a new beginning. “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” I desire Mercy. Your marital history, mixed household, or spiritual loneliness does not condemn you in My eyes. It is part of the raw material I use to form saints. You are in process. My energy—the grace of the Holy Spirit—works slowly, patiently, transforming what you offer.

In contemplative spirituality, this unconditional love invites conversio morae—daily moral conversion. Not overnight perfection, but small turns toward Me each day. For you in a difficult marriage, that might mean choosing kindness one more time, or seeking counseling, or simply enduring with love joined to Mine. You remain Catholic. Your baptismal seal cannot be erased.

The second Assumption frees you from fear. The Church is not a prison but a hospital for sinners. Popes, bishops, and theologians have always emphasized Mercy alongside truth—veritatis splendor balanced with misericordia. Pope Francis and many before him have called the Church to go out to the peripheries. You are on the periphery in your pain, and I am there with you. Do not let rigid voices or past hurts hold you hostage. Study the Catechism’s paragraphs on marriage (1601 and following) and on penance and reconciliation. They are filled with hope.

Do What He Tells You. Start by reading one section slowly this week. Let it speak to your situation without self-judgment.

Third Assumption: You do not cease being Catholic. The Church welcomes the divorced and remarried in many ways—through the internal forum, through continued participation in parish life, through personal prayer and works of charity. Many Anawim live faithful lives in irregular circumstances, receiving abundant grace. Get some spine—not pride, but humble confidence in your identity as a baptized believer. Demand your rights by living them: attend Mass as able, receive spiritual communion, pray the Liturgy of the Hours. You are part of the Body of Christ.

Fourth Assumption: Stay. Leaving to punish the Church only punishes yourself by cutting off the sacraments and community that sustain you. Satan whispers, “Get even.” I whisper, “Stay and be healed.” Practice your Faith as before—through daily prayer, acts of service, and reading good Catholic material. Make new wineskins: adapt traditions to your home. A family prayer corner, shared meals with gratitude, teaching children the Faith gently despite differences. I take care of the Anawim. Trust that.

Fifth Assumption: The road is sometimes rocky by design. My own path to Calvary was the rockiest. Yet it led to resurrection. Your rocky marriage or household can become a school of love, patience, and dependence on Me. Just because it is hard does not mean you are on the wrong road. It may be the precise path where I form you into My image.

I desire Mercy, not sacrifice. Meditate often on Matthew 9:13 and Hosea 6:6. Mercy is the greater priority. Be merciful to yourself. Forgive past decisions. Extend Mercy to your spouse or former partners. Seek God’s Mercy in Confession as available. This is the heart of the Gospel for you.

As Anawim, you are My special portion. Those outside boundaries—social, religious, marital—receive My closest attention. I ate with tax collectors and sinners. I speak to you now in the same way. You are wanted. You are needed. Your witness of staying faithful amid contradiction strengthens the whole Church.

Draw strength from contemplatives. Thomas Merton’s prayer expresses the trust you need when the road is unclear. Charles de Foucauld’s abandonment surrenders the need for perfect understanding. Pray them daily.

Practical retreat steps: Journal each Assumption. Write how it applies to your marriage or household. Pray with the Blessed Sacrament or a home altar. Read supporting Scripture: Psalm 139 (unconditional knowledge and love), Romans 8 (nothing separates), the Prodigal Son (Luke 15).

Over days, these assumptions will reshape your thinking. Anger softens into hope. Estrangement becomes intimacy in the Upper Room. You remain Catholic. You belong. Practice. Grow. I am with you.

I desire Mercy, not sacrifice. You are the Anawim.

Do What He Tells You. Begin now.

A Prayer by Thomas Merton: My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope I will never do anything other than that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me onto the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, will I trust you always, though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Prayer of Abandonment by Charles de Foucauld Father, I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.

Copy and share these reflections freely for personal use in your self-directed retreat or with others who feel estranged.

Six Core Websites Every Catholic Should Memorize and Use Frequently: www.wordonfire.com; www.scotthahn.com; www.usccb.org; www.newadvent.org; https://thecenterforcontemplativepractice.org; www.vatican.va

Copyright 2026. Michael F. Conrad. Ed.D., The Center for Contemplative Practice. All Rights Reserved.