THOUGHTS FROM A BROKEN-DOWN, OLD LAY CISTERCIAN WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER

For better or worse, my world (not my world view) is limited to my home: Bathroom, Bed, Office, where I type up my blogs and try to keep myself from going wild from cabin fever, and my comfy rocker-recliner in the family room where I watch both YouTube streaming videos (almost all of which are either AI or false news about Trump) and look at the plastic flowers next to the television and hope beyond hope that I don’t see them grow or bloom. That’s all, folks!

As an 85.10-year-old former cancer survivor (CLL Type) and twice cardiac arrest patient (2007 and 2025), plus having a pacemaker installed and replaced, sclerosurgery, and having my five front teeth knocked out in 2025 in the ER when they saved my life in part by forcing a breathing tube down my throat. Life never stops surprising you from nowhere.

I am sharing some of the bizarre thoughts I had while sitting in my rocker, just waiting for whatever Jesus wants to tell me or show me.

Be you for or against the way President Trump rules and the direction he is taking this country, I am always surprised by all those friends of mine who email me constantly, and it seems hysterical, with personal put-downs and malicious thoughts. They are held hostage by the very thing that is the center of their genuine hatred (disagreement with policies is not hatred). What surprises me is the almost daily Emails that express personal opinions about Trump. It is no wonder that civil discourse has been turned into a shouting match, like the late Charlie Kirk’s dialogue with an extremist student heckler. What happened to the advice to love your neighbor and not return evil for evil but return evil with good?

Here are five things I think our country needs to do to stop the factioning and slide towards socialist communism.

1. Follow what the laws say, nothing more, nothing less.
2. Judges should not mistake their jurisdiction as being political for the whole country. Follow the constitution strictly.
3. Both political parties engage in civil discourse for the good of individual voters rather than for the factions that buy their way into democracy.
4. Ban conservative and liberal tags in favor of policy positions.
5. Be passionate about rooting out fraud and corruption in all areas of governance.

Do I think any of these will happen? That is the question you need to ask. Why not?

MORE RELIGIOUS STUFF

The Catholic Church is undergoing another heresy ( like the Reformation) from bishops and priests who confused core beliefs about Faith with the trappings of Faith at the outskirts. For me, I remain with the Holy Spirit, who gave Pope Leo XIV the authority to bind and loose for the whole Catholic Church. The issue here has nothing to do with this or that bishops disagreeing with the authority of the Holy Father. It has everything to do with believing that the Holy Spirit is real and the words of Christ to Peter carry the weight of absolute truth, even if it takes people centuries to unwind what that means. Either you are for the Holy Spirit or don’t believe in the energy of Pentecost. Don’t mess with the Holy Spirit (or the nuns, as taught me), but you can mess with the Pope all you want.

I wrote a blog about spirituality for atheists and agnostics that I think is interesting. What led me to think about this is the premise: Okay, so there is no god. What is there that you think takes its place?

All of us have one Center that is at the very core. Without that word, saying, or belief, all other realities fall because it is the cornerstone, the capstone.

I have discovered, over a lifetime of making a fool of myself, that there are six questions I postulate every human must answer to move to that next level of evolution, whatever that is. I call them The Divine Equation, not because they even remotely prove who God is (which is impossible without using God’s measuring stick, not our own), but rather to prove who I am, using the energy and sustainability of that deepest level of evolution.

Here are the six:

• What is the purpose of life?
• What is your purpose within the purpose of life?
• What does reality look like?
• How does it all fit together?
• How to love fiercely?
• I know I am going to die: now what?

Humanity only allows me to use my reason and free choice to make any answer I want to solve this. The problem is, everyone is correct, and no one is correct. The answer, in my experience, comes from a source outside human experience, which has no energy or absolute truth needed to answer these questions truthfully.

If the Six Questions of The Divine Equation can be opened with only one answer being correct, who has the key? Democrats, Republicans, Socialist-Communists in the US? How about the Catholic Church or any other institution that says they are the way? This key unlocks the most important aspect of what it means to be human: our final evolutionary fulfillment.

That is the choice each individual must make or not make, be it correct or in error. What system of absolute truth is there to ensure that we not only know what is good or evil for us, but also gives us the energy to make the evolutionary transition from humanity to the deepest level of knowing, loving, and truth that a human can possess? That is the challenge for each human to make, and we have only the tools of reason and free choice to help us discover a truth that will truly make us free.

All 68 of my books on Amazon and the 1,200 blogs on WordPress are a record of my thoughts on it. I offer all of it free, or at least I am beginning to make it free (realizing that nothing is really free). It will cost you a WordPress subscription (free) and the time it takes to begin asking questions. My approach is unapologetically in line with Catholic spiritual thought. I joined a Monastery of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit (Trappist) http://www.trappist.net to learn the ancient ways of silence and solitude. I am not advocating that anyone join the Catholic Church. I do, however, hope some of it gets you to think about that vast untapped reservoir of spiritual gold in that upper room of your inner self, the place no one wants to look or to go. I now live there. 68 books and 1,200 blogs later, I am still writing down for you my thoughts on the Lectio Divina encounters I have with Christ just by sitting there.

May the peace of Christ be with you. Not the peace that stops conflicts, but the presence of love. Share this love with those around you, even if you don’t love them.

Copyright. 2026. Michael F. Conrad. Ed.D., The Center for Contemplative Practice. All Rights Reserved.