A Lay Cistercian Looks at Spiritual Reality
My current preoccupation in my Lectio Divina is on the nature of truth. Having sat on a couch with Christ next to me, my thoughts seem to drift towards very esoteric thinking no one wants to hear or read. It is the nature of truth. What is absolute truth? Why original sin means no one has the truth absolutely, and where can immutable truth be found? The occasion for my thinking about this comes from another blog on Christ saying, “I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE.” This blog contains my reflections on the necessity for the truth to be immutable and indefatigable. At least for me, this is an abrupt departure from my understanding of TRUTH. TRUTH, like FAITH, is the power to be at one with my human nature.
THE INDEFATIGABLE NATURE OF TRUTH
THE SETI OF HUMAN TRANSLATION FROM HUMAN CORRUPTIBILITY TO DIVINE INCORRUPTIBILITY
THE PLUNGE FROM HUMANITY TO SPIRITUALITY
Something strange, almost imperceptible, has happened to me, since becoming a Lay Cistercian and dying to my false self each day.
Being in the presence of Christ each day, and each hour has had an effect on me. Like being present to nuclear radiation where you can’t see it, but you will die if exposed, being present to the Truth of the Holy Spirit has, without me doing anything, transformed me from my false self to my true self.
Being in the presence of Christ in Eucharistic Adoration, in Lectio Divina, Liturgy of the Hours, Eucharist, Rosary, Reading Scripture, and other Cistercian practices means I become more like Christ, the transformer for me to transform to my true self, without frying my neurons in the presence of pure energy.
I am not the person I was at the beginning of my Lay Cistercian journey, nine years ago. Imperceptibly, I have changed, not because of my good works but because my good works from God have allowed me to go places no human thinks to go–deeper into the heart of Christ.
As a Penitent Lay Cistercian, I have been aware that my life in the world has been a total failure and that my interactions with people, ideas, and ways of thinking have all been sinful and self-center. In prayer, I have apologized to everyone I have ever met (that is a chore) and prayed for their forgiveness. The TRUTH of the Holy Spirit has allowed me to seek mercy for all the many insults, slanders, and shady dealings I have had with people. TRUTH means I am more aware that I must convert those parts of my life that have remained glossed over in my greed to get on with life. Lectio Divina has opened up the TRUTH and slowed me down so I could seek forgiveness for situations I had forgotten. The penitent Lay Cisrcian is one who daily has eyes lowered (custos oculi) in prayer as they realize, more and more, who God is and how much they missed loving him as Christ loved us as we creep blindly down life’s rocky path.
Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the Life.
THE LIGHT OF TRUTH
When I am in the presence of the Holy Spirit in that upper room and just wish to sit on the couch and be next to the heart of Christ, the power of TRUTH permeates the room and also me. Humans don’t permeate anything. God’s energy which is TRUTH, overshadows me. Strange things happen to me as a result of my simply wanting to be in the presence of Christ. First, there is enlightenment within and throughout my being. This is the power of the Holy Spirit. What this does for me is shed light on my past life, where I was less than loving others as Christ so that I can return to those situations and convert them into what they should be. I know more now than I did ten years ago when I first began to stick my toe in the swimming pool of contemplation. I look back now and realize I did not love others as Christ loved me, even though I considered myself saved, sanctified, and ready for heaven. Now, I have humility more than before and allow God’s will to be done in whatever time I have left. What I can do is to convert these situations that come up and put love when I did not do it before. This is reparation for sins of omission more than commission, but they still need conversion. With Lectio Divina. I now have a light in the darkness of my past that causes me to make straight, crooked ways. It is also part of my trying to become more and more human using the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE.
Secondly, using the light of TRUTH, I can see things as an adopted son of the Father, linkages with the Old Testament, and ways of discerning how all of this seemingly confusing tangle of beliefs and “isms” make sense. Genesis has been a big part of my enlightenment of mind and spirit. In the Garden of Eden (before the Fall), God took Adam and Eve into a big orchard with many trees. In the middle of this orchard was one tree that God said was the tree of knowledge of good and evil (the apple in the tree did not get us into trouble, but it was the pair on the ground). My reflections on this seemingly insignificant event tell me that knowledge of good and evil (the basis for my being human and not a butterfly) is the nature of God alone and not humanity. Humans are free to choose what is good or evil (in reality, no one chooses anything they think is bad for them). The point is, God is the absolute TRUTH and shows us how to become human, but we must obey God’s will. Here comes the kicker. Genesis is about Adam and Eve having the right to choose but choosing an outcome that would not allow them to evolve or have intelligent progression as nature intended. God tells Adam and Eve, that if they eat this fruit, they will surely die. This all sounds too modern and contemporary to me. They ate it. I eat it. There are consequences for doing this, such as original sin (death, pain, suffering, anxiety, murder, confusion of tongues, betrayal, and the seven deadly sins).
I acknowledge what is TRUTH and, as a Lay Cistercian, measure myself daily against Chapter 4 of the Rule of Benedict. I also daily convert my thinking from the kingdom of the world to the kingdom of heaven (my analogy) through Lectio Divina, and using the Cistercian Charisms of Silence, Solitude, Work, Prayer, and Community as I know them to me in my life so far. Am I perfect? Just the opposite. I realize what I have done in my past life as a result of my pride and insensitivity to others and seek atonement from God. TRUTH has allowed me to see myself as I am (and move away from that false self to newness of life through, with, and in Christ. This is the TRUTH.
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