MAKING NEW WINESKINS: Waiting for Christ without conditions

It is an annoyance to my prayer each day that I must cleanse my way of meditation to prepare myself to meet Christ. Why can’t I just cut to it and move directly, without reservation, to contemplation? I set all kinds of conditions when I wait before the Lord and prepare to receive whatever. I control the time; I control what I think about; I control the need to control my results; I don’t want to let go of whatever results I get from my time with Christ.

I have learned to strip away the need for control. At least I am more conscious of what is playing out in my time allotted to Lectio Divina. It is difficult to just be present, eyes cast down, and not have a product of my time. Waiting for Christ means I seek His agenda, not my own. I do this purposefully and intentionally, if I can remember it, ever conscious of the pull original sin has on my process of waiting. Nothing is easy, but it is possible, ironically, only with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Christ is the new wine, making each hour new by aligning my will with His, with no conditions. This “emptying” of self is a deeper abandonment, just when I think I am ready.

There is no end to how deep I can go into my humanity when I use my spiritual universe and its unique energy (not my own). I can imagine Christ hanging on the cross and emptying that last drop of humanity before giving up His spirit to the Father.

I am the only one who exists at the nexus of consciousness and complexity. I know that I know. This unique faculty of reason with the ability to choose what is real is what sets me apart from the rest of living entities. It is a consequence of original sin that I can use my will to discover meaning using the world’s values and experiences, or I can move beyond the kingdom of the earth to enter a place where I have freely given my right to choose to Christ. I accept the boundaries placed on me by God as taught by Christ and energized in my lifetime by the Holy Spirit.

I voluntarily choose what God thinks are the boundaries of my humanity (knowledge, love, and truth) and live as best I can using the occasion of grace (Sacraments) to give me the strength to say, “Jesus is Lord.”

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