THE GRAND WATCH: Waiting for Christ in the silence of my heart.

I have been exposed to many ideologies and “isms” throughout my lifetime. Some, or even bits, of information I have elected to keep as part of the solution of what it means to be human at the deepest level of my awareness, the amalgam of flotsam and jetsam soaked up by my intellect and actualized by my free will, is who I am, but with a caveat.

There were five confrontations with ideas or concepts that I had to face about my fragile humanity as I attempted to go from seemingly rational to irrational. To be sure, I am not there yet. It might be safe to say that I am on a journey from what is less human to more of what my nature intended. I share them with you, in no order of importance.

1. My current level of development involves a focus on repentance, also known as reparation. Read about Our Lady of Akita. From what I read, I now say the penitential rosary or just the Sorrowful Mysteries. Still, I offer them for myself, for all those whom I have even contacted personally or through mental encounters (television), for all clergy and religious men and women, for the Church Universal, and finally for all those in the whole world. I am simply asking God for mercy for being such a blinded fool about my faith, comparing who I am now with what I was before.
2. Prayer has become a mindset that I consciously choose to align with, offering my freedom to be in tune with what God has in store for me each day.
3. I no longer have an agenda in my personal way to discover THE WAY. I am open to the ontic possibility of the manifest ability of all being and situations I encounter each day.
4. There is no other way to salvation but through Christ. As an institutional representation of that Body of Christ, I must somehow struggle with the fact of original sin in the Church amid the holiness of Christ. Christ chose flawed humanity to move forward in space and time to seek out the most profound meaning of what it means to be human, using the energy of God (knowledge, love, and truth) to help both the Church and me to fulfill our destinies.
5. I join my free will and ability to choose to wait next to the Lord and abandon those things that the world thinks will make me more human, in favor of the complete opposite. The sign of the cross has been tattooed on my soul, proclaiming me one of the flock. For the rest of my life, I must struggle to keep Christ as my center, not taking anything for granted, like salvation, but simply waiting to hear the word of Christ in my heart, “Peace be with you!” My template has been tested in the Magnificat of the Blessed Mother. Whatever it means to be human, I must abandon earthly solutions that seek to tell me to be this or that, in favor of the cross. Christ is my North on my compass, but it takes constant spiritual energy to maintain vigil over my center, Jesus. That is prayer. That is reparation. That is silence and solitude to listen to the Christ Whisperer. This is the only Way, Truth, and Life.

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