CORE PRACTICES TO BUTTRESS MY CENTER FROM CUMBLING.

The problem with conversio morae (moving forward from old wineskins to new ones) is that it takes work. Some think that Baptism gives you a free pass to Heaven with Christ’s sacrifice on the cross guaranteeing salvation.

This approach, while part of me wishes it to be true, runs afoul of what my experiences with the corrupting influences of ordinary living tell me is real. Christ told us to take up our cross daily, which, in my thinking suggests that a one-time conversion runs counter to what my Faith tradition tells me is true. What is true for me is the notion that, once I choose my center (the one principle that, if you take it away, causes all other supporting and sustaining sub-principles) to become ineffective. Taking up that cross daily means that I must constantly and purposefully prop up or sustain that one principle because it begins to deteriorate amid the corruption of matter and time.

My resolution to this phenomenon of sustainability happens by constantly placing myself in the presence of Christ and asking for help to keep my center at the center of the bulls-eye. There is an art to this process of continuous conversation morae that depends upon my receiving the energy from Christ (grace) to constantly prop up my weak human nature with a source of power outside of my experience and capability. This includes, but is not limited to Lectio Divina frequently, Liturgy of the Hours, Eucharist, and Reconciliation through the institutional church. My growth (capacitas dei) requires a daily mindset that makes me aware that I must be aware to guard my center against the encroachment of the Devil’s destructive use of my human nature (good in its redeemed status, but constantly deteriorating in the face of the dissonance of matter and time).

To accomplish this sustainability against the snares of the Devil, prayer has deepened from just doing my Lay Cistercian schedule of a set time for prayers to place myself in the presence of Christ (horizontal prayer), but the challenge of simultaneously moving ever deeper into the mystery of my humanity (vertical prayer), what love means, and what is true and leads to my fulfilling the destiny my nature requires. Vertical prayer has no limits; horizontal prayer encompasses a mindset of allowing my spirit to soak up the energy of Christ through being open to the Holy Spirit. It is a 24/7 challenge more than just praying three or four times a day at specific times.

My Lay Cistercian Way is constantly growing in complexity and consciousness (Teilhard mp), which has progressed by turning time itself into a continuous consciousness of being present to Christ. “That in all things, God be glorified.” — St. Benedict.

There are six sustaining practices I use to keep myself centered on Christ amid the chaos of time and matter. These practices are so ingrained in my approach to Lay Cistercian spirituality that I don’t consciously think about them specifically. It is an act of the will at the beginning of each day at the Morning Offering to “Have in me the mind of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:5)

1. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT CHRIST IS THE TEMPLATE OF MEANING THAT DRAWS ALL THINGS TO HIMSELF. Placing myself in the presence of Christ takes an act of my will, a conscious decision to make Christ the measuring stick against which all reality is compared. Having completed the six core questions from a lifetime of discernment and discouragement, I have resolved my results only because I have a “Keystone” or “Principle” against which all truth, all love, and all knowledge are tested. The answer to these six questions is tied up with the unrequited longing in my heart to a) discover my humanity at its deepest level of my being while I am alive; b) search for how to love with all my heart, all my mind, all my strength; c) seek the truth beyond the corruption of time and matter. The only template, key, capstone, center, “sine qua non” of reality that fits and unlocks the longings of my heart is pure energy with a separate nature outside of my capacity or capability to comprehend. This template became human (Philippians 2:5-12) so that I might look at these six questions and begin to become more and more aware of how it all fits together. It takes an energy outside of my human nature to help me.
   • What is the purpose of life?
   • What is the purpose of my life within that life?
   • What does reality look like?
   • How does it all fit together?
   • How can I love fiercely?
   • You know that you are going to die; now what?
2. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT CHRIST AND THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE THE ONLY POWER THAT LIFTS UP MY PO0R HUMANITY TO ITS NEXT LEVEL. (Capacitas Dei) My nature, human nature, does not have the energy to evolve to that next level of maturity as indicated by the direction of the flow of reality.
3. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT CHRIST AND THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE THE ONLY WAY FOR MY HUMANITY TO TOUCH THE POWER NEEDED FOR ME TO BECOME THAT NEXT LEVEL OF EVOLUTION REQUIRED BY MY NATURE. (Conversio Morae) The energy of God (pure knowledge, pure love, joined to produce pure service) is so beyond my ability to comprehend or assimilate into myself (like trying to take a drink of water from a fire hydrant), that it took God to become human as a way for me to receive what my nature needed to move to that deeper level of my humanity. That is why Christ is the only way, truth, and life that I must use to fulfill those innate longings of my human heart (knowledge, love, and service). Prayer is simply my conscious act of the will to place myself daily in the presence of this energy and wait for it to be done unto me according to YOUR WORD. Love is the passion that compels me towards a fate that my humanity says doesn’t exist (spiritual life). Only humans have free will, whose purpose is to say YES to the murky and cloudy, the opposite of living in the world, starting all over as a pilgrim in a foreign land, and one who longs to be free of being held hostage to my humanity at its physical and mental levels.
4. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT CHRIST WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE ALWAYS WILLING FOR ME TO SEEK TO DWELL IN THEIR PRESENCE. Lay Cistercian spirituality is, more and more, developing into a mindset of prayer throughout the day that only seeks to be present to the energy I need to sustain Christ as my center. I do this through targeted prayers (Eucharist, Rosary, Scripture, Lectio Divine, Liturgy of the Hours), but not exclusively. I am aware that love means the continuous longing of the heart to be fulfilled with the energy of the one that fulfills the desires of my hungry heart.
5. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT THE MOVEMENT OF SPACE AND TIME INEXORABLY MOVES FORWARD IN COMPLEXITY AND CONSCIOUSNESS TOWARD ITS DESTINY. My nature is unique to life itself in that I can reflect on what moves forward in my consciousness of reality and choose what is meaningful to assimilate into what me, me. In all space and time, each person gets a chance to become immortal using their humanity, through, with, and in Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Reality is designed for me to be aware (reasoning) that it takes an act of my will to join with the way to becoming what my nature intended at my deepest level. I must move from animality to rationality and from both of those to spirituality only by saying YES to what seems to be the next step in my human evolution. I don’t become God as much as I use the energy of the Spirit to allow myself to be raised (resurrection) to the highest level of which my nature is capable. Placing myself in the presence of Christ and patiently waiting is at the core of what it means to be a contemplative Lay Cistercian, as I know it.
6. BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE THAT ALL REALITY IS COMPOSED OF PHYSICAL UNIVERSE OF MATTER AND TIME, THE MENTAL UNIVERSE OF REASON AND FREE CHOICE, AND THE SPIRITUAL UNIVERSE, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST EVOLUTION MY HUMANITY CAN ATTAIN. Only a power outside of my nature can propel me to that next level of my humanity, being an adopted son or daughter of the Father and heir to the next phase of my reality, immortality. From Baptism until the end of my physical existence, I prepare to live in the next world by gathering treasures in this world to form what I will live out later. With death, the Scriptures says, “Life is changed, not ended.” The ultimate purpose of human nature is to exist as an adopted son or daughter in the next phase of evolution. To prepare or pack for the journey, I must take unto myself those values and experiences that are consistent with what I believe Christ told me to become. Because I still live in the kingdom of the earth (until I die), there is the temptation to choose the wrong pathway that does not lead to immortality but to morality. While I live, I cannot only choose what I think is good for my humanity but to change my mind, if I indeed choose evil (making all things new). I sustain myself in this life, not merely with food, although I do use it while I live, but with the Bread of Life (Eucharist). If I eat this bread as an adopted Son(daughter), I will live what my nature intended now to prepare for the life to come.

Spirituality as a Lay Cistercian has become the awareness of what to this point I have taken for granted, although right in from of me. These six maga-awarenesses are where I am now in my journey from mortality as a human being to the right evolution of my species as immortal. Daily, I must struggle to keep myself centered on Christ Jesus. Ironically, it is when I seem weakest and simply sit in awe and wonder next to Jesus in that upper room of my inner self, that I am strongest, not with my power or energy but assimilating a power far beyond my humanity, one that lifts me up to the fulfillment of what nature intended. Death makes what has been a struggle become permanent.