A MOSAIC PIECE OF MY LIFE: THE PURPOSEFUL MOVEMENT OF MATTER AND MIND TOWARDS FULFILLMENT.

In the last segment, I related how human reasoning and the ability of each individual to choose what seems best for them differentiates us from all other life forms. Life is the condition that allows organisms to move, noticeably gaining in complexity and consciousness, given the parameters of time as a succession of movements gathered collectively. I am not only NOT you, but I am not an animal, although my roots exist in the ongoing movement of all life forms as they move toward their fulfillment in the future.

What makes me different and unique from any other life form, including each human of the species, is my inheritance of human reasoning and the ability to choose what I consider suitable for me. My assimilation of life experiences, subconsciously linked to those three innate longings of what it means to fulfill my destiny, keep tugging at how I interact with my environment as time inexorably does its thing. I am a big lint collector who picks up and retains those things that help me discover what it means to be human, what love is, and the absolute truths right in front of me each day.

The sum of choices, good and bad, are who I am. When I look out at reality, I do so with the only framework I know, those memories, learned lessons of right from wrong, and how it all fits together. I have reason for a reason, and so does every other species. When I choose to test and accept an idea, hypothesis, or law of nature, I am filling that gap in my longing for fulfillment at the next level of our humanity. I am who I am, given that all these changes as time moves, and I continue to become more aware of my destiny. Not all choices are good for me. Who is there, outside of myself, that gives a seeming resolution to the chaos of competitive ideologies and philosophies that vie to fill that gap between where we are as a species and where we must go? That is the question posed in Genesis by the knowledge of the tree of good and evil.

I must choose a power outside myself to reach the next level of my evolution. But what power is there that can do that?

Back to the Teilhard map (unattributed) and its systems approach to answering human’s next step in our evolution or intelligent progression.

I seek a systematic approach to looking at the various levels of human evolution to hypothesize what that next step might be, using the collectivity of my human experiences. For so many years, I focused on the answer to my three longings from reading what the Catholic Church and its interpretations give as the answer to my emptiness. Now, I know I should have tried to discover who I am first, bringing in the enormity of all my life encounters and false starts rather than taking my humanity for granted. To find God, I must first find myself, warts and all, and then, and only then, apply my Catholic heritage to provide me the template or key that fits the lock that has bound me all these years. It is not that my Catholic Faith depository is somehow wrong as much as I was not using it as intended. It is only a tool to open my mind and heart to the ontic possibility of the manifest ability of all beings I encounter on my Quixotic quest for my next level of consciousness.

At the age of 80, I discovered how to use this seemingly paradoxical conundrum of spirituality as the next step. What I learned will surprise you—it did me.

To be continued.

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