THE AWARENESS OF THE LIMITS OF MY HUMANITY

I am not only a man of constant sorrows, I must constantly forage into virgin territory with which I am unfamiliar or have never entered before. That is how I describe my Lectio Divina these days. I know that my Lectio is, and always will be,, the phrase in Philippians 2:5, “Have in you the mind of Christ Jesus,” but I could never have envisaged how deep I could penetrate my humanity with the help of the Holy Spirit. It just happens each day and all I can do is hold on for the ride. And what a ride it is.

Critics, or probably more accurately, those who do not know what they do not know, keep throwing out what they consider arguments against anyone being able to grow in Christ Jesus, calling it fairy tales or what I made up from an overactive imagination. Whereas I used to get upset with that characterization, I now consider it a badge of honor. My Catholic Faith and the hypotheses I use to actually make sense out of my humanity as I meet each life situation is indeed a fairy tale, and yet, I make it all up. Do me a favor. Go back to the home page of this blog and look on the right-hand side of the page, where it lists all my blogs and fairy tale ideas. They go back to 2017 and are over one thousand (I lost count). My question is: Isn’t this a lot of stuff for fairy tales and where in the world would a broken-down, old Lay Cistercian get all these crazy ideas, except “out of this world.” I am a ghostwriter (Holy Ghost, that is).

MY FIRST AWARENESS

My latest foray into the realm of “fairy tales” has me sitting in the upper room of my inner self, looking around at who I am, where I am, what I am, why I am, how I am, and why I even bring up some seemingly unrelated topics such as the multi-faceted awareness. Like a Jewish gem cutter who has perfected his craft of diamond cutting over many years, my Lectio Divina began with my sitting down in Church and launching into what I thought Christ said in the Scriptures. I used the four steps of the Ladder of Contemplation religiously. After trying and mostly failing to do this every day, I became bored with the process and thought all this contemplative and meditative stuff was for the naive.

Like any habitual practice of spirituality, my humanity seeks the exceptional rather than its anthesis, the psychopathology of the normal, or martyrdom of everyday routine. What I resist in my earthly self, my spiritual self relishes “Silence, Solitude, Simplicity, Sharing, Sorbreity of Focus, and Serenity” are all products of the tools of good works, as indicated by St. Benedict, Chapter 4 of the Rule, but not an end in themselves. All of this leads to my realization that nothing depends on me in my Lectio Divina. I just sit in the presence of Christ, His heart to my heart, and wait. I do anything to make Christ present; Christ is present when I am aware that I am aware of the dynamics of humility.

My Lay Cistercian Way is a way of life that unfolds truth only in, with, and through Christ when I am in the presence of the Holy Spirit. This may or may not be during horizontal prayer (a specific time I carve out for Eucharist, Lectio Divina, Rosary, Reading Scripture, etc..). These Cistercian practices that I do over and over have a vertical dimension that increases as I increase my intensity of Faith through my belief that Christ is indeed present in multiple ways in my journey as an adopted son (daughter) of the Father. (capacitas dei)

Try as I can with my humanity (the kingdom of the earth), I can’t make the jump from here to there (the kingdom of heaven on earth, much less the kingdom of heaven in heaven, later on as an extension of my adoption by the Father. My humanity does not possess the energy to lift itself up to that next level of our evolution. By myself, I don’t have the power needed.

MY SECOND AWARENESS

My human nature is made in the image and likeness of God (good), but because of the archetypal choice of Adam representing all humans with Eve, representing the mother of all humanity, I don’t know what it means to be human in my next level of evolution, I don’t know how to love fiercely, nor do I know what absolute truth is. In my lifetime, I make use of all the stimuli, events, trial and error, following saints and sinners to seek the answer to these three questions. My humanity alone gives me neither the questions nor the correct answers to this trio of conundrums.

MY THIRD AWARENESS

I am not the template that decides what is good or bad, even though I can choose anything good or bad. I can force others to believe what I do through verbal persuasion or force. This animalistic instinct of dominance is intrinsic to who I am and I must give it away if I am to discover any truth outside of myself. I have a lifetime to discover what is true and what the way is, and lead a life intended by my nature. I think I am the most powerful person in existence, and I am, but to be powerful according to my intended nature, I must give away what I think is good to embrace a view of reality totally the opposite of my inclinations to covet power.

MY FOURTH AWARENESS

Heaven is real, but so is Hell. Heaven is not the antithesis of Hell in the same way that God is not the antithesis of Satan. There are two finalities after we die: Heaven (with Purgatory being a second chance to make a first impression) and Hell. What is Hell? Here is one of many ways I see it. Is Satan and Hell cool?

While you live, Satan offers you plush accommodations at the swankiest golf country club with exclusive membership reserved for Presidents of Countries or politicians. You have unlimited food and drink at this golf club and have any escort you wish to pass the time. Your golfing clubs are of the highest quality, and caddies to tote any bags you use on the course. Satan Himself, a golf pro, is your personal golf pro, available every hour at your beck and call. All awaits you just saying YES to the best you can be. Oh yes, there is one slight wrinkle in the contract of membership. After you die, there are no golf balls allowed. Golf balls are only available in Heaven. How cool is that?

They’re indeed limits to my humanity. With Baptism as an adopted son (daughter) of the Father and in, with, and through Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit. I have what I need to be what my nature intended. All I need to do is say, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” uiodg